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Key themes: 2002

	We are a family
	My name made my life
	Raising children
	Important family occasions
	Families in adversity
	Staying single and escaping family life
	The roles of father and mother
	I couldn't have done it without my family....
	Old age
	Family break-up and death

Key themes: 2001

	Making a new start
	Neighbours and the place where I live
	Being a parent
	Work
	Coming out the other side
	Racism and prejudice
	Dreams and obsessions
	Loss
	I was there

All about the 2001 series

True Lives Homepage

Raising children

All about: Raising children This week's True Lives is all about raising children - how we do it and how children develop within our families. Robert Ridley grew up in America's divided inner-cities:

"I am a product of the 'white flight' - the exodus of white people from U.S. inner cities that went on until the 1970s and '80s. Black people like me were left behind with substandard goods and services - including schools.

I was highly gifted as a child. But I did not get what I needed most: academic challenge and exposure to other children like me. I had constantly to fend off ridicule for being different, and this kept me from learning the social skills I would need to make it in the adult world.

America's inner cities are fraught with crime, teen parents, and lost hope.

Eventually, I was lucky. But I wonder how many more inner-city children are suffering like I did, and will not have the chance to finish college and make a happy life?"

ROBERT RIDLEY, USA


"My father married two wives. My step-mother was the first wife, followed by my mother. There was always fighting in the house, and my father always supported the first wife as he didn't want her to leave him.

I was around two years old when my mother left. My grandmother took me aged eight. Eventually, I ran away. I am now staying with an aunt in a farming village. If these calamities continue, maybe I will run away again.

Sometimes I cry because I lost parental love and care. I don't know who I should blame: Should I blame my parents, myself - or nature?"

ABUBAKARI ABDUL KARIM, GHANA

Akum left with her brother Fidel and sister Anna

Akum is one of my three children. She is a special kind of child because of her peculiar disability: She was born some seven years ago - a ‘Down's syndrome' baby.

A Down's syndrome child will certainly have learning disabilities, speech problems and is more susceptible to heart abnormalities and thyroid disorders.

The first difficulty I faced was how to explain Akum's condition to her mother and family. I tried hard, but it was difficult, given the superstitious environment in which we live.

Some people even alleged that the child a snake. In Africa, rational science does not necessarily lay all matters to rest.

For the past three years, Akum has been living with my elder sister whom she calls mama. They seem to get along well and understand each other. It is a better relationship than the one Akum has with us, the biological parents.

Regardless of her disability, she always wears a happy face and is friendly with virtually everybody.

She is magnanimous when appreciating a gift or a favour. She will remind you to pray before you eat, and clap when you are singing. Her open-mindedness and friendliness has led to many people knowing her.

Akum in her best clothes

Living with Akum has been an education to me. I can now better appreciate the diversity and multi-coloured nature of life.

We, the normal people, spend all our time fighting for more knowledge, more money, and more power. People like Akum have no goals to attain, and paradoxically they seem to be happier than the rest of us.

They are devoid of envy and do not have enemies. They do not understand concepts like tribalism, nor any other form of discrimination. The only thing these people need from society is love.

MOSES TIMAH NJEI, CAMEROON

Anderson Emmy Snr.

“I had always been a naughty child all my life, and I loved playing what I called ‘Oliver Twist stuff’ – always wanting some more food!

But on the 27th of October 1985 I ceased being naughty….

I always used to look around the house for something edible to satisfy my insatiable hunger, despite the food my parents used to give me.

And on that fateful day, with the help of a long chair, I climbed up the larder shelves in order to get hold of a tin I had seen on top.

With much excitement, I grabbed hold of the tin, quickly opened it, and pressed on with my gluttony, gulping down quite a quantity of the contents.

I remember little of what followed: Only falling off the chair, and the sound of my voice screaming aloud.

It was three days, apparently, before I awoke, and saw my parents and family around the bed. They told me how I was found screaming and crawling round the room like a half-dead cockroach.

They told me how I had swallowed nearly a whole tin of in insecticide.

They’d had to force me to drink a bowl of red oil (palm oil) before rushing me to the hospital. I noticed that their eyes were red raw, showing that they had being crying, hoping I would not die.

For this love and care, I said to them, there and then, ‘Dad, Mum – I’m never going to be naughty again’”.

ANDERSON EMMY SNR., IVORY COAST