Last updated at 11:39 BST, Tuesday, 09 June 2009

Episode 200: Talk

Tim and Khalid at the pub

Love at work

Tim is worried about going out with someone at work. Do you think he should be worried?

What advice would you give him?

Have you ever had a relationship with someone you work (or worked) with? Was it a good idea or not?

This topic has now closed. Thanks for all your comments.

Tatiana, Russia
I don't think it's such a good idea to going out with a colliague, ecpesually if there are bosses and employees.

Rishabh Poonia, India
In my view,Tim should not be worried of becoming close to sally.He should speak frankly to her & also describe his feelings.

Michel, France
I haven't had a relationship with someone I work with. Going out with someone at work is not a problem if you are conscientious and professional. I think it's not a good attitude if you show your personal feelings at work. Personally, I wouldn't like to have a relationship at work because when my day's work stops, I prefer to have other subjects of conversation than my boss, my colleagues... But,Tim, if you are well disposed toward Sally, don't hesitate : ask her out again!

Nana
i think love in work is unaccebtale behaviour ,since it effect badly on the work .Any change in relationship will have its influnce on the work ,if you are feel like romantic your work will get the benefit ,or if you in trouble with your partner ,the atmosbher of work will be like hell.

Nitin, India
In India, it is problem for people and not for the Employer. Companies would like to have some relatiion between co-workes, perhaps they welocome if a couple works their. I am with Employer.

Atakan, Turkey
I haven't had any relationship with someone at my office, yet. I hope, I will never. I beleive that people should seperate their private life and work life. If they mix these two lifes to each other, then they may face problems either at work or in their hearts.

Ana, Spain
Iīve never had a relationship with someone at work, but I think itīs much better no have it . Even if the relation works good when you must relax with your partner you can finish speaking about job ; and if it doesnīt work and you split up after this the atmosfere at work can be intolerable.

Jim McDee J.
Tim should absolutely not be worried about a date out with S.and his argument about his doubt concerning J.is not to the point because on one hand he,s the boss of the business and on the other hand there,s an individual liberty in going out with someone. He just should go on as he finds it for accurate and should know that people always think just the other way! I mean the circumstances at work are a good opportunity to cultivate bilateral relationships with other people and if there,s a bit more sometimes, why not? good luck for Tim!

Danielle, Malaysia
I think there is nothing wrong in going out with someone from your workplace or someone you work with..I am currently engaged to a man who used to be my boss!And it really worked out quite well..See,it all depends on how you balance between work life and love life..Keep things cool at work..My relationship with Johnny is definitely a good idea! I say give it a shot Tim.. Who knows, you guys might be made for each other..Haha..

Sandy, Vietnam
In my opinion, a love at work is a very common thing, due to the fact that almost of us spend 8 hours per day, 5 days a week working with our colleagues, overcoming and dealing with the difficulties in work with him/her and even going out for meal after work together. Hence, the love at work arises naturally. I myself have a boyfriend working at the same company. We've fallen in love for 3 years before joining a company. At the first time, we tried not to let everyone in the company know about our relationship, because we don't want to be gossiped from colleagues. But we realise that everyone also has their own real love, no need to hide that. So now maybe our colleagues know our relationship and we're happy about that. We love truthly, work effectively, respect colleagues and always keep a right behavior in work.

Sebastiana, Spain
I had a very bad experience and I had to change the job, so I think it you can avoid it. From my point of view, having a relationship with someone you work could be if it ends in a bad way, a source of problem that affects in more aspects of your life than having a relationship with someone that nothing has to relate with your work.

Maha, Pakistan
yea,of course i did a project in rural area with a gul who is really great in profession as well as in real life,me much impressed by her,during that project i felt the bitter facets of life.she was a source of guidance for me,now i dont know where she is, but trust me i always pray for her pleasures.i believe now that sometime little moments are memorial for long time.

Vivien, Singapore
I met my husband at work 5 years ago. Colleagues did treat us a bit differently after they discovered our relationship, but that was not a problem to us and we are so happy that we have decided to be with each other.

Ngoc, Vietnam
If I were Tim, I shouldn't be worried about that. Instead, I would enjoy my special relationship and be willing to cope with incoming consequences if any. Of course, we all don't want a relationship ends in a bad way, we all expect happy ending. In my opinion, emotion develops in a natural way. You probably won't be able to like someone if he or she doesn't give you any special attraction. Love at work, thus, can only be the result of long time working, living together in a common environment, that is, your company. From knowing nothing about a person to loving him or her is a natural way. So, my advice is let your heart walks you through your special relationship and try your best to make it ends in the way you expect (hopefully, everyone like happy ending like me :D).

Ket, Vietnam
I think Tim shouldn't be worried about that. Having special relationship with colleagues at work is rather normal and natural. It's the result of long time working together. So, some piece of advice for Tim: let go out, enjoy your special relationship, and do what your heart tells you to do.

Nataly, Russia
I think that the relationship at work can damage your career. What about me I am against the relationship at work. In Russia it is not perfect to have a relationship at work especially if you work for a serious firm.

Jahed Ahmed, Bangladesh
love at work is fantastic if you find your lover at work it can be increse your sprit at work

Sevin
I had an affair with my Coordinator at work. I was single but he was a married man about to get divorce. So we had to keep it secret. We had quite fun at work on working hours.

July, Taiwan
I think Tim should not ask his female colleague out if he is not confident in dealing with the special relationship. It is much likely that Tim's department is being engaged in some work which is against the interest of Alice's department. If this is true, Tim would have to face a dilemma of being loyal to his boss or his girl friend.

Mai, Egypt.
I'm totally agree with having a relationship with someone at work. What the shame with doing this! It's very good opportunity to know each other and cooperate in everything even in the feeling towards the work. I had experienced this relationship with one of my colleagues and had a very good feeling when he was interested in helping and sharing me anything I was going to do. But it has 2 bad sides, the gossip. And when he decided to left out and walk away. I still remember every moment happened between us. unfortunately I can't quit.

Yang Home, Hong Kong
I found that there was a bad idea I had a relationship with Mary I worked with.We started our special relationship a year ago and I was really enjoyed that year because I could see her almost every day. My company has many other beautiful girls. This year,Mary did not allow me to talk with any of them more than ten minutes. I also like gambling. She did not allow me to gamble heavily on the horses, so I felt like a prisoner.If we did not work in the same company, she would not know me my daily routine.Like it or lump it, I'll try to talk with any of beautiful girl in the office as short as possible and gambling lightly on the horses.

Natalka, Ukraine
Let's think about what will happened if relationship came to the end and you have to work with your ex-friend.

Jean Marie, France
Tim shouldn't be worried, relationships could begin anywhere, and of course at work where we pass most of our time. Tim is often mixing everything (see a swan on the lake and his stress about job, customers, colleagues...) He needn't make a show of his feelings to Sally and will seriously be able to go on his duties. I've never had relationship at work but it wouldn't have been a difficulty. On the other hand, it might sometimes be fun to observe how a couple could manage their feelings in context of work and their necessary exchange of orders and charges. Really, I don't think it might be a problem only if they don't go on arguing at work about their domestic or private life!

Liliana, Colombia.
For me it is a big problem, in Spain there is a saying "Very impolite" about this. I think that the relations ship is better when keep out of the work.

Kim, Vietnam
To me, it is not comfortable to have a close relationship at work, especially when you have worked in the same team. Like it or lump it, you will have to be prepared for the curiosity and the judgement from the colleages.

Ann, Hong Kong
i am not prefer to have a relationship with someone at work. i think it will influnence my working performance and show totally my personality. sometime i don't like to let others know too mach about me...

Tad, Japan
I am exactly in the same situation at my work. I can not make any progress in my love. Well let's see what would happen to them at the end, and I will follow the story line and take tips from him!

Julie, China
I am not agree with going out with someone at work.In China,most of the corporations don't allow to special relationship with co-worker.Beause this relationship may be affect their working.However,this love still always happen.

Ali, Iran
i find my love in a workplace environment but we decide to not aware everybody about it except a few close friends.i think some people do not recognize borders between personal and public relationships especially at work so its better to tell some close friends and make it secret for others.

Carine, France
I think that going out with someone you work with is a very bad idea.Indeed, at the beginning, it can seem that it is a good idea because you can be all day long with the person you begin to love. But, actually, it contributes to something like isolation at work because some of those who have special relationship are away from their other colleagues. As a consequence it can be an issue as in companies working as a team is really often essential.Moreover, contrary to the beginning, when the special relationship is more and more serious it can be a nightmare to be 24 hours a day with the one you love. Indeed, I cannot imagine the type of conversation these people can have at home. I think they only speak about work or they do not speak at all as they know each other what they did during the day.I have already heard about two people who were in love in the same company. And one of them had to quit the company because if they had kept on working together they would have to let each other go. They should get married next year so I think it was a good idea to quit.Therefore, I keep on thinking that a special relationship at work is not a good idea and this situation can be problematic.

Tiffany, China
Love can transcend the barriers of anything in the world. Work is just a part of our life. But love will company you for the rest of your life.

Ki, Turkey
It depens on their character but,I think that thats relation ship is not good in the future there can be some arguement between them this sitiuation can reflect their works and everything ll go bad and they can loose their job.

Oanh, Vietnam
In my opinion, love at work is not a serious problem. Your colleagues all accept this special relationship if you behave correctly at work and not influence other people work.

Chixi, Vietnam
i think that is ok. i have had a relationship with my friend at work. he is my boyfriend now ^^

Vitor, Brazil
Well, I guess it depends a lot on where he is. As I could notice, in Britain it's totally normal to go out with a co-worker, isn't it? But I can tell you here, in Brazil, it's unusual. In fact, it's a bit usual, but often prohibited. Most establishments don't allow their employees to have a (serious) relationship with each other.Therefore, if he were in Brazil, I'd tell him not to go for it. I've already had a similar experience and it wasn't so good. When my boss found out, he told us we should break up otherwise we'd be fired. Actually, he was nice...

Cynthia, Brazil
Iīd never had a relationship whith someone at work. I think itīs a bad idea because itīs difficult to separate feelings and thoughts about work. I think there is so many people that we can go out on a date that itīs unuseful have a date with a work coleague. Thatīs what I think!!!

MyDa, Vietnam
I've never had a special relationship with anyone at work although i don't think it is a bad idea. I always dream of the scenario that i will find my Mr Right who is in the same company, even the same department. It's very fantastic that i can discover more about him while working with him. I can also share stress form work with him because i know exactly what he is doing. Knowing clearly about each other's work helps us to give prompt advice and encouragement to the other. As a result, we both make a great progress on our careers.It's obvious that we should be under the pressure of gossip. However that's not the point if we really love and respect each other.

Natalya, Ukraine
In my opinion Tim shouldn't worry too much about this situation.There is always someone who would be plesed to gossip about him and his private life.The truth is that feelings are more important than envy.No one can forbid you to be happy even if it's a person you're working with.

Satguru, India
Yes,We do worry to go out with someone at work.After all it is a work place and we should behave professionaly not personally if we would like to work in a good office culture.

Lili, Belgium
Why not? I think, we have to use any way to be happy!

Cristina, Spain
It depends on the kind of relationship. In my opinion, a romantic date at the first sight is a huge mistake. You don't know how it'll end!! It's better getting know little by little and if the matters goes on satisfactory, then it's Ok.

Marcia, Brazil
I think Tim should go out with the girl. You can't lose the opportunity of having a relationship just because you work with this person. The only thing that is not good is if the relationship doesn't work, you feel unconfortable to see the person every day ... but who is going to start something thinking it is not going to work?

Gaelle, France
To my mind, love at work isn't something people should worry about. It becomes problematic when the lovers decide to split up!

Huong My, Vietnam
As for Tim's case he should be worried cos it is not very good idea to have a relationship at work. But that is just my point of view so it depends on diferent ways of thinking. In my country is very common practice for the wife to collect the husband's salary if they work in the same organisation, there is totally no freedom, no fun of flirting with your coleagues when you Big Wife around...so can you imagine what a poor man?

Elisa, Italy
Yes, I had once a relationship with someone I work with. It wasn't a good idea, because he was my boss and when it finished was a quite stressing situation, so I decided to quit this job.

Cong, Vietnam
I think he shouldn't be worried about going out with someone at work.Of course it's not so awful,whereas it's very common.I think will be fine if we go out with somebody at work, it's not only help you solve your work easily but also make you have good friendships with your counterparts.Don't worried about the special relationship (love) at work because it can come very naturally and you can feel it.Although i haven't had any special relationship with someone, i know it will be so nice if it don't interrupt your work, right?

Mosquita, France
I met my current boyfriend at work 4 months ago. Now we don't work together anymore and it is a really nice relationship. If you think he/she is worth it, don't miss this opportunity!

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