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Saturday, 21 April 2007

A short message from Alex's doctor.

I am sorry to tell you that Alex is gravely ill. He came to my office late on Thursday evening, suffering from two problems. Firstly, his stomach was in terrible pain and I saw immediately that he had severe food poisoning. Secondly, he appears to be suffering from temporary insanity. He was weeping as if he had experienced a terrible trauma. When he arrived in my office, he could not speak coherently; he could only say these words: “cheese… fudge… cheese… fudge… NO! NO! NO!”

Later, when he had calmed down a little, I asked him how he had become so sick.

“Doctor,” he said, “I made a terrible terrible mistake.”

“What did you do?” I asked him.

“I ate cheese with fudge!”

“NO!’ I gasped. “Not… not… not CHEESE WITH FUDGE???”

“Yes, doctor. CHEESE WITH FUDGE!!!”

‘Why did you do it?” I asked him.

“It’s Ana Paula’s fault,” he said. “She told me that I should eat it. I think she wants to kill me.”

I called an ambulance immediately, and Alex is now in hospital, recovering from his ordeal. It is possible that he will never completely recover, and he will probably have nightmares about his horrible cheese and fudge experience until the end of his days. However, he will write his blog again in a couple of days, if he is healthy enough to do so.

I hope everyone who reads this blog will learn from Alex’s traumatic experience. The lesson is simple: never, never, NEVER eat cheese with fudge.

Signed,

Dr Loco Exhag

Vocabulary

We often use the adverb gravely when we are talking about health problems. It means ‘seriously’ or ‘terribly’. So, ‘gravely ill’ means very ill.

If you eat food which is too old or not properly cooked, you might get serious stomach problems. This situation is called food poisoning.

‘Insanity’ is the noun form of ‘insane’, which means ‘crazy’. ‘Temporary’ is an adjective which means ‘only for a short period of time’. Therefore, ‘temporary insanity’ is the medical phrase for being insane for a short or limited period of time.

The verb ‘to weep’ means ‘to cry’.

A trauma is a very bad physical or mental experience. The adjective form is traumatic.

If you speak coherently, this means that your words and ideas make sense, and people can understand you.

To gasp is to breathe in suddenly, when you are shocked or surprised by something.

A dream which causes fear or other bad feelings is called a nightmare.

Until the end of his days’ is a rather ‘poetic’ phrase, meaning, ‘from now until the end of his life’.

Comments

d3.s*+6db...sorry Dr Loco but ...5ujsjla,65@%=§...I'm a kid and I'm stll learning english and I want you to see my mother because she was just studying english here and suddenly she started to laugh so loud that everyone came to see what was the joke but there was just this page on the computer and nobody could understand because it is writen in english. She can't stop laughing and do you think this madness is reversible or I have to cope with this for good until the end of my life? Do you think learning english is not good for our health? Please, I would appretiate your assistance in her case. Signed, Adriana's son

Oh dear. I was waiting for some good news, as I have been very upset about the sorrowful news in the word today. Alas, things are just getting worse, Alex is ill now. The good thing is that his doctor´s style of writing looks very similar to Alex´s style, maybe they are brothers. Get better soon Alex. One should stick to one´s own eating habits, that become clear to us all. Therefore I am not going go recommend that you people have a piece of toast with the topping that my friend in New Zealand did. He covered his toasted bread with a thick layer of strawberry jam and a heap of sardines. What thrill! And without doctor´s help.

Hello Alex! I'd like to thank you for those entertaining blogs you always write. It's a real real pleasure for me to read them...besides all that useful interesting vocabulary you use in your blogs. I really make the most of all those words. Having read your blog i immediately put down all the words I've come across while reading and I try to use them in my everyday speech to make it sound more colourful and not boring at all. I am very very grateful to you!!

Hello. When you are reading the texts , you should analyse all them ahead of believing in something . Settle down . I wish you could get well soon. God bless you . < Wisarut >

What can I say after having read Dr Loco's blog and the comments from Adriana's son and Leila's. This afternoon I was a bit down, but after having read them I'm in a very cheerful mood. I'm very moved with the experience of having a strawberry jam and sardines toast. If I had that extraordinary delicacy, I'm afraid I would need Dr Frankenstein to rise me from the dead. Have a nice weekend

As soon as I read your doctor's comments to my son,he asked me why Alex ate Cheese with Fudge. I answered Ana Puala told that the dessert was scumptious and he should have a go.My son listened very interestingly and said "Alex shouln't listen to Ana puala as such she is a woman",and he called you a silly billy.my husband, who is listening our conversation,shouts. "son!,you make me in big troble,now!" I am not going to beat my husband up but I am going to give him Cheese with Fudge as a heavy blow. have a pieceful day and see you on Monday!hyoshil

Hello Alex!These blogs of you and Ana Paula seem to be a really adventure novel. I'm looking forward to reading the next chapter.

:))) I love cheese fudge! and do you know what? Scientist say eating that combination for a long time people became crazy, and I suspect that's why I'm following this blog. You need to be a little crazy to enjoy the blog. Hopefully I do!! It's a pleasure to learn English while smiling too! Love yur style

Poor Alex! in the end you have managed to make yourself ill, moreover gravely ill. if you eat something unwillingly, it's clear that, of course, you will be ill. do get well soon. I hope ,hereafter, you won't taste anything you don't want or, you won't be prejudiced against cheese with fudge. ıf you hadn't been prejudiced against cheese with fudge, you wouldn't have beeen gravely ill. we are looking forward to waiting for you. again get well soon. by the way the doctor's scenario is not bad.

Hello! We definitely have to love this language!! (Then Jean Reno maybe.) Only I am so sorry that I can`t find the way how to put it /the language/ into my head.

This amazing sample of medical report made me consider what to eat for dinner today! Sometimes taking risks could be very dangerous! Certainly I would not try anything new, at least now...or if dare to try such an incredible dessert then it could be possible to get several days off and the excuse would be perfect - serious food poisoning...hmmm but what if it is true and it can cause indigestion...or no...staying in bed during so lovely sunny days...no cheese with fudge for today

Alas..poor Alex.Well,It is ok that your Cheese and Fudge nightmare has been completely over now.Relax and get better soon.Maybe Ana should responsible for your gravely trauma until the end of her days.I am not kidding at all.

I have had some problems posting this comment on Saturday. Hi Alex, I am feeling a little bit guilty because I proposed you that we could taste this legendary “cheese with fudge”. After the doctor notice I wonder if I am finally going to taste it. I am courageous but not mad ;-)) Take care of you.

Our POOR teacher! That's too bad. The story has completely surpassed all my imagination when it appoached the climax. Fortunately, Mr. Alex Gooch is still breathing! We must calm down and consider where the guilt lies. Actually, I do not think it's Anna Paula's fault(She must be in shock!). If Alex had eaten the exact delicious CHEESE WITH FUDGE that is "the gift from the gods", He would not have suffered from severe "food poisoning" and "temporary insanity". How about Antonio from Belgium? Our POOR teacher probably would not have been gravely ill if Antonio had not made such a suggestion, and Alex had not taken a risk. Oooh, NO! I was just wondering about Antonio. Hope both will be OK.

Dear Doctor Exhag, it’s with no small amount of trembling I’m writing to you as these are only two hours now since I ate CHEESE and FUDGE… I don’t know what to do???!!! If I were the only person who tasted that vicious dessert it wouldn’t be any problem. I’m a brave person and I could go through that dreadful ordeal with the raised head. But I wasn’t the only one - can you imagine my friends, my neighbors and other animals coming to my home to taste that exotic dessert named as ‘Romea e Julieta’. Yes, I agree with you I’m definitely too naïve, but Ana Paula looks so innocent and to be honest I don’t feel bad – quite the opposite. First of all I can speak coherently and I’m really far from weeping, but the night is coming soon and I’m afraid of nightmares … And to make the things worse Polish doctors are going on strike on Monday …. Dear Doctor Exhag, we’ll have to stay in touch. Please, give my warmest regards to Alex - our beloved Teacher,

Hi, Alex. It has been a long time that I didn’t leave a message. But I still read each of your blogs. For the latest blog, your doctor’s message, Alex, you know, you are so… Sorry, I can’t describe how I am feeling now. You know what, I like your writing style SO MUCH! How interesting! I never saw an article like this. It’s amazing. I want to write a comment like your style. It’s as follows: A short message from Jill’s boyfriend. I am sorry to tell you that Jill is becoming crazy. When I saw her this morning, she mumbled these words: “Alex, blog, Alex, blog!” I hold her and said: “Honey, calm down, calm down. What’s wrong with you? Who is Alex?” “He, he is a teacher, he, he writes teacher blogs.” She answered. “You mean the teacher from BBC Learning English?” I asked. “Yes. Interesting! His blogs are interesting! You should read them.” “Ok, ok, I will find some time to read them.” Alex, it’s your fault. Why you continue writing such interesting blogs which make my girlfriend a little crazy? I’m angry! Signed, Jack.

A short message to Alex's doctor: Dear dr Loco Exhag. I've got a long expirience with people who visited me after having eaten cheese'n'fudge for the first time. The symptoms are always the same or at least very similar. You can be sure it's not severe food poisoning - it's realy o sort of shock after having eaten something so delicious that their brain hadn't been able to bear it. The best way to remove the strange symptoms is to give Alex another portion of cheese'n'fudge. I'm sure it will help imediately; it always helps. Signed Witch Doctor of Philosophy

Hello Alex I hope you become better soon because we miss your blog.Alex please teach your student how use simple english words.Some of them is very difficult to pronounce even tough keep it them in memory

Dear Doctor Exhag, is it possible for you, when Alex is awaking, please tell him he made two mistakes,...firstly he forgot the redwine (from Italy) to the cheese,... and secondly NEVER trust a woman!!! (even when she looks nice and tells harmless stories about cheese with fudge)

Thanks for all your contributions. This blog has now closed and can no longer accept new comments.

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