Episode 11: In and out by ARIANE SHERINE

INT. HOTEL ROOM - DAY

LEWIS sits on the bed in his Travelodge style hotel room full of groovy young people and MORGAN. Everyone is having fun, swigging champagne and shouting. LEWIS looks miserable.

MORGAN

Hey hey, Lewee my boy! Single out Monday. let's get promoting - shift some units, eh boy? Rock'n'roll! LEWIS (dejected) Yup.

MORGAN

Having the time of your life?

LEWIS

(even more dejected) Definitely.

MORGAN

Grrrreat. 'Cause it doesn't get any better than this!

LEWIS (VOICEOVER)

(dully) If that's true, maybe I should shoot myself now. I wanna be less confused. I wanna know what I want.

EXT. BEACH - DAY

LEILA and JEROME are playing around on the sand, laughing, yelping and ducking. He prods her in the stomach.

LEILA

Aagh! Take that!

She prods him, then starts to tickle him.

JEROME

Aagh, aagh, nooo, stop!

He play-wrestles her to the ground and ends up on top of her.

LEILA

(breathlessly, looking up into his eyes) You may have got the better of me this time, Jerome, but wait until I start my new kick-boxing class. You won't know what's hit you.

JEROME

Your foot, by the sounds of things.

LEILA

Damn right. I'm gonna be the next Prince Naseem.

JEROME

Great. Just try not to grow a moustache.

They kiss.

INT. CLUB, OFFICE - DAY

SEB and SHASH stand together in the small backroom.

SHASH

Got another job for you tonight, Seb. We're doing this one together.

SEB

Together? How heavy's the suitcase?

SHASH

Not a suitcase, a nutcase. One tricky customer who needs to be taught a lesson.

SEB looks shocked.

SEB

Oh no. No Shash, I can't -

SHASH

Sold any more dodgy phones lately? I'm sure the fuzz would be very interested in that. And how's your bank manager, is he happy?

SEB looks down, then back at SHASH.

SEB

What time?

INT. GYM - DAY

The sports hall is full of people in martial arts gear. LEILA walks in, swinging her gym bag and whistling. She stops dead when she sees JO limbering up.

LEILA

What the hell are you doing here?

JO

Kicking you senseless. Oh, hang on, I forgot. You already are.

The MARTIAL ARTS TEACHER claps his hands.

MARTIAL ARTS TEACHER

Okay, we're going to start by practising the basic kick.

He demonstrates the kick. Everyone copies him.

MARTIAL ARTS TEACHER

And we block the kick like this...

He demonstrates the block. Again, everyone copies him.

MARTIAL ARTS TEACHER

Now, I want everyone to get into pairs and take turns practising the kick and the block.

He points at JO and LEILA.

MARTIAL ARTS TEACHER

You two can be a pair...

His voice fades into the distance as he continues pairing couples off. LEILA and JO face each other, staring at each other with hostile intent. They get into position and circle one another warily.

ANIMATED OBJECT: LEWIS BLOG

I don't know what's wrong with me. Anyone else would be having a wild time, getting off their face and sleeping with loads of girls. Last night two of them barged into my room wearing less than Jodie Marsh on a nudist beach. But I'm just not turned on. It's not as though they care about me. Yeah, it's glamorous and I'm getting to do what I've always wanted - but I'm seriously lonely and miss my real mates, Ed and Mono. I miss Seb, Rachel and my Mum, too. I even miss Charlie and Jo, so I'm definitely not right in the head! I just wish I knew what was happening. I guess the saying's true: 'Be careful what you wish for - you just might get it'. It's good to dream, but I'm living the dream and it's turned into a nightmare. I wanna be back at home.

INT. GYM - DAY

LEILA kicks JO, who blocks the kick. LEILA then throws a punch, which JO ducks. LEILA kicks JO again, but this time JO holds onto LEILA's foot. LEILA hops around in a circle, looking ridiculous. Everyone else gathers round the pair to watch. LEILA eventually falls on the floor and JO falls down with her. The class laugh. LEILA and JO grin at one another.

INT. CLUB, CAFE - DAY

JO and LEILA sit drinking at a table.

JO

I'm really sorry we got off on the wrong foot.

LEILA

Are you talking about us or the fight?

They both laugh.

LEILA

I'm sorry too. I never meant to upset you that first day.

JO

I know. I guess I was just insecure about Lewis. But I think I'm over him now.

LEILA

That's great news. And now you're managing this place. You must be really happy.

JO looks around to check no one's in earshot.

JO

Actually, I don't know if I should tell you this, but I'm in a real bind.

LEILA

What's up?

JO leans forward and cups her hand over LEILA's ear. She whispers into it for a few seconds.

LEILA stares at her in shock.

LEILA

You're joking! What are you going to do?

JO

(sighs) I don't know. Any ideas?

INT. JOCASTA'S OFFICE - DAY

FLASH FORWARD. The screen goes fuzzy and dreamy, and LEILA has a flash-forward to the future.

FUTURE LEILA runs into FUTURE JOCASTA's office.

FUTURE LEILA

Jocasta, you won't believe this - I've got the best crime story in the world!

INT. CLUB, BAR - NIGHT

The screen goes fuzzy and dreamy again. We see footage of PAUL and LEILA having a good time on their one date.

LEILA (VOICEOVER)

But I've learnt the hard way what happens when you use people you care about for stories. They get hurt, and so do you.

A freeze-frame of PAUL and LEILA is cut in two.

The screen goes fuzzy again, and we end up back in the club.

INT. CLUB, CAFE - DAY

LEILA

puts her hand on JO's.

LEILA

I'll do whatever I can to help you. And I promise I'll think of a way out of this.

JO

Thanks. Free drinks forever if you can get Shash sent down.

LEILA

I'll hold you to that.

JO

Talking of drinks, here's Rachel.

JO sighs.

JO

She's only going to ask for a vodka and coke again. I'm going to tell her she's out of her mind.

She starts to get up, but LEILA stops her.

LEILA

I think she's getting better. Wait and see.

RACHEL walks up.

RACHEL

Hey Jo. Please could I have a still mineral water?

JO

(smiling) It's on the house.

LEILA laughs. RACHEL looks puzzled, and looks from LEILA to JO.

RACHEL

Hang on... you two are never together. What's going on? Am I drunk?

The Video freezes. ANIMATED QUESTION appears.

A: Do you agree with Leila that Rachel has stopped drinking alcohol?
B: Or do you reckon Jo's right and Rachel's boozing again?

YOU CHOOSE "A"

INT. CLUB, CLOAKROOM - NIGHT

RACHEL (PTC)

Firstly, I can't believe you are speculating about me behind my back. But anyway, thanks for having faith in me. Yeah, I love drinking and partying, but the running's way more important. If I'm gonna make it to the OLympics, I'm gonna have to stay teetotal. And I can tell you, it's not easy when you work here.

We see a shot of all the people in the club drinking.

INT. WAREHOUSE - NIGHT

SHASH and SEB are beating up a man. The MAN is on the floor and they are kicking him mercilessly. SEB is shaking.

MAN

I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!

SHASH

I bet you are. And you'll be even sorrier if you don't pay up.

MAN

(sobbing) I will, I swear!

SHASH

When?

MAN

As soon as I have the money!

SHASH kicks him again.

SHASH

And when's that gonna be?

The man stares up at him.

MAN

I don't -

SHASH pulls out a gun. SEB gasps.

SEB

Shash, I -

SHASH

(to man, snarling in an evil voice) And when's that gonna be?

MAN

(terrified, squeaking) Tomorrow.

SHASH smiles.

SHASH

That's lucky. Because I was going to kill you.

He fires the gun into the air.

SHASH

I guess I'll save it for next time. Come on, Seb.

They walk away, leaving the man writhing on the ground. SEB looks wide-eyed and shocked.

INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

LEWIS is lying on his bed singing to himself.

LEWIS

So lonely, so lonely...

There's a knock at the door.

LEWIS

S'open.

WAITER

Room service.

A drop dead gorgeous WAITER comes in and gives LEWIS a big smile. LEWIS looks at his arse as the WAITER puts down the tray.

WAITER

Champagne, only one glass?

LEWIS

Er, yeah.

WAITER

Cute guy like you, all alone. It's a crime. Fancy some comp...

There's another knock at the door. A drop-dead gorgeous girl pushes the door open dramatically.

GIRL

Fancy some company?

LEWIS looks from one to the other.

LEWIS (PTC)

You know, I do fancy some company. But which one shall I choose? Which one will light my fire?

The Video freezes. ANIMATED QUESTION appears.

Who will get LEWIS hot:

A, The handsome hunk?
B. The gorgeous girl?

YOU CHOOSE "A"

INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

LEWIS sits on the bed fully-clothed with the guy.

LEWIS (PTC)

He's absolutely gorgeous, but I'm feeling so shaken-up and confused. I don't know what's happening. I think I might be gay.

WAITER

(aside) Oh you definitely are, love.

LEWIS (PTC)

So what do you think? Have you seen any evidence in my behaviour that might lead you to think I'm gay? Help me here, I don't know what I feel.

CUT TO NEXT SCENE : ANIMATED QUESTION appears

Lewis is unsure of his sexuality. Help him out and look at the evidence, then tell him what you think.

Below this ANIMATED QUESTION are 6 thumbnails of scenes. The thumbnail images show the other main character in the scene. Seen enough? Tell Lewis what you think.

A. Is Lewis the gayest man in Brighton - and that's saying something?
B. No, he's definitely straight. He's just sweet and sensitive.
C. GAY? What's that? Do you mean he's cheery?

YOU CHOOSE "A"

INT. HOTEL ROOM - NIGHT

LEWIS

I'm not sure if I'm the gayest man in Brighton, but I think you're right. I'm gay. There, I said it. It all makes sense now. I suppose this means I have to come out and tell all my friends. What will they think? What will JO say? Or Seb? Yikes.

END OF EPISODE