The media is full of articles about the self-destructive nature of teens and young people manifesting itself in the form of bulimia, anorexia, self-harm and drug use. It is common to hear stories of people spiralling out of control, ending up in hospital, or at worst, dead. Everyone knows of someone who has succumbed to one of these evils, but what happens when it's your best friend, your boyfriend or even your younger sister who sets out on a path of self-destruction? No one ever gives a thought to the trauma loved ones face, how can anyone begin to cope with something like that?

The first feeling many people battle with is that of incomprehension. Why is the thinnest of all your friends suddenly obsessing over her calorie intake? Many people search hopelessly for a cause for this behavioural change, but find nothing. It is then that the guilt creeps in; could it be something to do with your own actions? Perhaps something you said was misconstrued. This is stupid. Chances are it has nothing to do with you and the problem is deep-rooted elsewhere. The causes of these various problems are wide and varied. However it is important to find a cause as it is only when the cause is dealt with that the problem itself will cease.

One girl told me she thought if she pumped her friend 'full of positive stuff' it would help. However she was dispirited to realise it did no such thing. She was left feeling helpless. As it was her best friend she felt she should be able to do something to help. If you ever find yourself supporting a friend though a problem it is important to realise that even if you feel useless you are probably helping. Jennifer, a recovered anorexic and self-harmer, told me she could not have coped if it wasn't for the support of her friends.

If a friend suffers for a long period of time it is easy to become resentful. Your friendship is no longer fun; it merely consists of your friend moaning and you having nothing constructive to say in reply. After six months of trying to make Tally stop slashing herself to pieces, Michelle began to ignore her. 'I couldn't cope anymore' she said, 'By trying to help I just felt bad because I seemed to just make her feel worse.' Feelings like this can lead to guilt for what you perceive as your own selfishness and impatience. Perseverance is the key. There is no quick fix, sure fire way of stemming the flow of self-harm, defeating an eating disorder or decreasing drug use. The best advice is to remain patient, lend an ear and give it time.

However if your friend seems to be sliding down a slippery slope of no return ensure you get them help. Even if you have reached the point where you feel nothing but contempt for your once friend, do something. After all if it was you you'd like to think that your friend would be there for you in your hour of need wouldn't you?

Anna