Many years ago during a particularly unhappy and stressful period in my life, I felt that under the circumstances I was coping quite well. However, I soon realised that my daytime anxiety had a negative effect during the night. Although I slept fairly well, each morning when I awoke, I found that my hands were in tight fists!
It was quite obvious that the tension I was holding would be harmful, and I knew I had to find a way to relieve it whilst coping with my difficult living conditions. Several friends suggested various methods such as hypnotism and counselling, but I felt I wanted to do something myself.
I discovered the way quite by accident. While on a short holiday with some friends, we found that relaxation was part of the package. It was just for a short period each day.
At first I was quite sceptical. I knew my mind was so active that I thought it would be impossible for me to relax.
However, gradually it became a little easier and I began to enjoy each session more and more. The teacher explained that relaxation was just like any other physical skill - it improves with practice. Essentially it was the ability to 'let go'.
On my return from holiday, I felt calmer and I started to look for other sources of relaxation. I was surprised to find that there were a variety of techniques.
One of the most popular techniques was to tighten each body part and then relax it. Personally this did not appeal as I found difficulty in releasing the tension when told to do so - I was still holding on!
I enjoyed a form of relaxation called 'autogenic' whereby the teacher names each part in turn and then you repeat it mentally - such as "my right arm is heavy and relaxed". As long as the person giving the relaxation has a calm soothing voice, it is very effective.
The relaxations are usually done lying down and a warm blanket is essential. Sometimes it can help to place a cushion under the head or knees.
Relaxation can also be practiced whilst sitting in a comfortable chair. This is good for asthmatics.
I find that having to focus on the different parts of the body really does help to relax my mind, shutting out busy or anxious thoughts. However, it doesn't happen straight away. Patience and perserverance pay dividends.
My favourite form of relaxation is called yoga nidra, where an affirmation - a short positive satement - is used at the beginning and at the end of the practice. This works on the subconsious mind during the very relaxed state. Visualisation is also a very important aspect of this.
Relaxation encourages the 'feel good factor'. Endorphins are released and the physical, emotional and mental benefits can help combat anxiety, insomnia and panic attacks.
Relaxation cassettes are useful if a teacher is unavailable, and many people use them whne uptight or when they want a good night's sleep!
© Merle McCarthy - 2004
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Shirley from London
When I started working very long and stressful hours as a Health Club Manager I found that I was slowly getting sicker and sicker, my life savers have been Transcendental meditation and reiki self healing and I have been using them for the past 10 years, these have slown me the way to treat myslef and I have recivered from many injuries and sicknesses purely by using relaxation techniques.
Marnie, middlesbrough
Affermations are a good one for me, lots of positivity, thinking about how fortunate i am with what is in my life and unwinding at the end of the day by lighting candles, chatting and laughing with my 7yr old daughter and counting my blessings help me to relax and unwind
Angela Wilson from Doncaster
After being diagnosed with breast cancer I have found it hard to relax but find that if I have soft earthy music like bird song or water in the background and incense burning it help a great deal. I just close my eyes and imagine myself somewhere else - it's great.
nat, Cardiff
i do beauty therapy in colege so i kno a lot about how 2 relax. but is there any other way u can relax by using pressured massage movements? i kno u can hve facials man ped ta
Mark Templeton, Newport
I find my life coach Richard Haggerty of accelerated-excellence.com in Canton really helps keep me on track with stress, worry and even stopped smoking with his help.
Kevin Round of Canton
I get the most out of having a quick chat to my life coach - James Angove of the Bio-unit - www.therapist-online.org. It's powerful and effective at any time, and helps to keep me focused and on track.The BBC is not responsible for the content of external websites
Keith Davies, Swansea
I had high blood pressure and stress problems until I went to a reiki massage, after my wife saw a demonstration at her school. Reiki is a Japanese form of massage using the body's energy to heal naturally. Since I've been going for the last 4 weeks I'm relaxed and my blood pressure has dropped. A friend of mine had a problem with his legs and went for Reiki and his legs are 100% better.
Marlene David
I first learnt 'yoga nidra' 15 years ago whilst living in Norfolk during a very stressful time of my life. I had a marvellous teacher and purchased her relaxation tape when i returned to Wales. I practice most days and would recommend this form of relaxation to everyone - it's much better than taking medication.
What's your secret to switching off?
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