Life Coaching might seem like the latest thing to hit the world of mind, body and spirit, but it has a tradition going back thousands of years - ever since people started turning to friends for help and guidance.
It's quite simply a form of counselling - i.e. giving wise counsel - which uses a series of one-to-one sessions between client and coach in order to help the client solve problems and achieve ambitions.
Why do we need Life Coaching?
We all need a wise friend to help us through life, someone to turn to when we have to make key decision or overcome problems.
But our friends, no matter how well-meaning, don't always have the necessary skill to help us. They may have problems of their own which cloud their judgement, or they may be anxious not to offend. Very rarely do they have the kind of objective distance necessary to give clear, wise advice.
This is where Life Coaching steps in, helping you see your life from a new perspective, giving you insight and clarity, as well as the confidence to move forward.
What is it?
Life Coaching differs from most other forms of therapy or counselling in two ways.
Firstly, it is entirely focused on the individual and his or her needs. There is no all-embracing theory, no sense of 'one size fits all'. A Life Coach won't tend to locate problems in the client's past, instead looking at what specifically needs changing or improving in the client's present and finding the course of action that best suits that individual client.
Secondly, Life Coaching is very proactive. It's not 'done to' the client, but is a collaboration between coach and client, working together. The Life Coach will encourage and direct the client in making positive changes to his or her life.
How does it work?
Life Coaching is often associated with the business world, a kind of power process which makes successful people more successful. It can be carried out over the telephone, with the client signing up to a fixed number of sessions and with very clear goals and outcomes established. But this is only one form of Life Coaching.
There are also Life Coaches who deal with individuals and their personal lives. This personal form of coaching may allow clients to explore the underlying causes of their problems as well as simply find strategies for success. This more personal kind of Life Coaching may also offer a flexible approach to appointments, allowing the client to decide the frequency and duration of sessions.
Finding a Life Coach
Life Coaching is one of the fastest-growing areas of expertise in personal development, and the number of coaches is increasing at a rapid rate. The important thing is to find the right Life Coach for you, whether you're looking for someone to give you a kick-start in a new career path or someone to offer more sensitive help with personal problems.
© David-John Newman - 2006
your comments
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Penny Vingoe, Lifecoach, Welshpool
My first point is that Life Coaching is invaluable and yet it is not for everyone. Like many Life Coaches I offer a first free session to establish if we can work together and if the client is open to change. Not everyone is. My second point is that I want to agree with previous writers that there are so many people ‘jumping on the bandwagon’ – Having had exceptionally thorough personal training in coaching, over many years, from an expert in the field of change, I undertook a ‘course’ to get a piece of paper – an extra qualification. It was the most lightweight course I have every encountered and taught me absolutely nothing that anyone with common sense would not already know. I was disgusted to think that people would take such a course and then proclaim themselves to be Coaches. When searching for a Life Coach, looking for qualification doesn’t always work; looking for recommendations and genuine testimonials does.
Barry
Coaching tends to be future focused, whereas counseling delves into the past. In my opinion, both have their place. If you would like to get a favour of what coaching has to offer, try the free self coaching and peer-to-peer coaching wizards available online.
Erin Martin, Cardiff
The key is to always check credentials and if possible find a recommended coach. The joy of good coaching is the capacity for CHANGE that clients discover they have, once supported. I agree it's dubious practice and just plain wrong for coaches to hand out advice - generating options and sharing ideas that have worked with other clients is how coaches work towards solutions and goals with their clients. A coach needs to be aware of the boundaries and if a client is clearly clinically depressed it's right to suggest that a counsellor is sought instead. Sometimes a client can benefit from working with both simultaneously, since the disciplines are different but complementary. Coaching, in the right hands is immensely beneficial and a source of ongoing personal development when clients learn to become self-coaching. It needs to be better understood and forums such as this are helpful.
Joe Smith
My partner had the support of a life coach and he was overweight, aggressive, lost his job, was in debt and was trying to cope with breaking up with a long term girlfriend. He now has an amazing life, is healthier, happier and loves his job because he had the right help and support.
Jenny Peters, Birmingham
Take a look at www.balancedapproach.co.uk for details of coaching and development training.
Ed from South Wales
I might be biased but Im quite disturbed by the sheer numbers of people who seemed to have jumped on the Life Coach bandwagon.So many {and any glance at a local New Age Directory will confirm} offer so many services that I think it improbable that they are good at any of them. How many can one find that offer for example Massage, Sports Therapy, Yoga, Crystal Healing, Personal Development, Couples Counselling, Life Coaching and the ever present NLP. Frankly it all smacks of opportunism {whats hip}and what sells and Mental Indigestion. My response tends to be a somwhat cynical curling of the lip.
Ian Carter, Chesterfield
I can understand where Kate is coming from, but I don't agree with her interpretation. Perhaps she's come across the wrong person at some time? In my experience as a teacher in Burma for 11 years, life coaching became an integral part of my work (although I didn't know that was what it was called) empowering mature and maturing students to make appropriate choices for their future - certainly not taking advantage of them.
Kate
I am deeply worried about the motive of life coaches. When a confused, often depressed individual approaches them for help to find direction in their life, how can they be sure that they are always encouraginging their client to take the best path in their lives ... this industry is despicable - it is not regulated and it takes advantage of the most vulnerable people in our society.
Dee
Everyone here seems to ignore the fact that CBT - a form of counselling - is used in coaching. CBT is the most widely used form of counselling within the NHS and breaks down cognitve distortions and negative beliefs based on the future and what is happening in hte here and now. I feel that coaches are trying to sell their product and in doing so are using the name of counselling to get a foot on the ladder of life. Any good therapist can help clients set goals and move forward as well as breaking down cognitve distrotions and holding diffcult client material in a safe enviroment, but can any coach do the anything other than goal set? As both coach and therapist they are different, but as I see it coaching is the polishing off bit that I do at the end to get the client to have a more productive life and learn new ways of maintaining their journey. So as far as I'm concerned coaching can be used either alone as a technique or as part of a multi faceted approach to human behaviour. We are all different, but those with most skill can tap into the human experience at all levels.
Julie, Barry
Where are the courses for life coaching held? Can any one recommend any?
Brendan King from Ryde
Perhaps Nigel Griffiths should actually read David Newman's page instead of trying to hijack it and use it as free advertising for his own coaching services. Griffiths is obviously ignorant of the difference between counselling and psychoanalysis, as it is completely erroneous to say that counselling is about locating problems in the past - psychoanalysis is the only form of therapy that seeks to do that. This is the definition of counselling given by the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy: "Counselling takes place when a counsellor sees a client in a private and confidential setting to explore a difficulty the client is having, distress they may be experiencing or perhaps their dissatisfaction with life, or loss of a sense of direction and purpose. It is always at the request of the client as no one can properly be 'sent' for counselling. By listening attentively and patiently the counsellor can begin to perceive the difficulties from the client's point of view and can help them to see things more clearly, possibly from a different perspective. Counselling is a way of enabling choice or change or of reducing confusion. It does not involve giving advice or directing a client to take a particular course of action. Counsellors do not judge or exploit their clients in any way." If Griffiths had bothered to read the page he would have seen that Newman gives his definition of counselling - 'giving wise counsel' - at the start of the piece and at no time says that what he does is a form of psychoanalyis, indeed he specifically states that "a Life Coach won't tend to locate problems in the client's past, instead looking at what specifically needs changing or improving in the client's present and finding the course of action that best suits that individual client."
Liz Shewan, Life Coach, Devon
For me the experience of Life Coaching has changed my life. It allows one to look at oneself, sometimes for the first time, from another perspective without getting emotionally involved. This is paramount to change and success. Once unconscious incompetance has been accepted, new beliefs can be learnt and established as a habit so that very quickly a new habit has been formed and life can move forward effortlessly towards the attainment of ones dreams. My life's direction was previously unfocused - I was taking 'The Long Road to nowhere', until I discovered Life Coaching. I now successfully apply my knowledge and experience to help others change their lives - which increases health and happiness for everyone else around them too! I would recommend Life Coaching to everyone as an opportunity to objectively explore one's life and commit to their idea of happiness and success, which in turn will create a life of optimum health. Its a good way to change your response to Phobias also, which can really get in the way of one's advancement.
Piers Thurston from London
As a life coach and counsellor, my view is that they are certainly different approaches to offering someone personal development and sometimes even have different objectives. I do not believe that coaching is about giving 'wise counsell'. The whole fundamental concept behind coaching is that the coach works to unlock the resources and answers within the client, and does not give them the answer, or in any way offer advice. This is because people are much more likely to do the things that they take responsibility for, whereas giving someone the answer may give the client the awareness of the solution, it doesn't give them the responsibility. Also who is the expert on you...you obviously, so why do I know what is best for you.
Glynis
Absolutely. Coaching is most defintely NOT counselling. Any coach who has been trained well will know that coaches do not give advice - and neither do counsellors! We both ask pertinent questions to enable the client to find their own answers to their situation. The difference between coaching and counselling is that in coaching clients do not always have to have a problem deep emotional problem which a lot of counselling or psychotherapy clients may have. A coach will suggest options, motivate you and offer support- but answers - NO!
Nigel Griffiths from Enfys Acumen, Newport
I don't agree with the comment that coaching is a form of counselling. In my view counselling looks back in time at the reasons why a person behaves in a certain way. Coaching on the other hand focuses very much on where the person is now and where they want to be in the future. What's been has been - the past cannot be changed. A skilled coach helps someone, or it could equally be a group or team of people, to clarify their dream or vision, agree some realistic, well stated goals that will take them towards the dream, look at where they are now in relation to the goals and then come up action steps and ways of gaining the strength to achieve the goals. This process must always look at the rationale for wanting to achieve the relevant goals, why they are important and how they fit in with values and beliefs.
What's your experience of life coaching?
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