Q: I don't like making a fuss, but my child has recently tried to find excuses for not going to school. I think there must be a problem. What should I do?
A: Telephone the school and ask to speak to your child's head of year or form tutor. Explain the situation. The relevant member of staff will make discreet enquiries and may chat privately to your child before contacting you. School-based problems can usually be resolved successfully in this way.
Q: My son is having great difficulty settling in to the secondary school, where he started at the beginning of September. He is showing no signs of improvement and the situation seems to be getting worse. He is a bright boy who achieved 3 level 5s in his SATS and is also good at sports. In Junior School he never missed a day in 5 years. Now he has no confidence and will make any excuse not to go to school and not to go to some lessons when he is in school. He cries and cannot seem to face the day even though we have had many talks with him trying to reassure him. He also seems to be alienating himself from his friends who are now starting to tease him, which he cannot cope with either. His mother worked as a teaching assistant in his Junior School. I feel that all our efforts to reassure him are failing and a talented boy will be throwing his future away and further degrading himself in the process. Can you offer any advice?
David, Cardiff.
A: There could be a number of reasons for not settling into secondary school. The security of a junior school, where the child is known and knows his environment well, can be very different to secondary school where he may have to orientate himself around school and make new friends. Reassurance may not be enough and may not be getting to the heart of the problem.
Is he having difficulties coping with lessons? When is the worst time of the day for him - break or lunchtime? Is he being bullied by older kids in school? You need to contact the school and speak to his class teacher and ask if they are seeing any specific difficulties surfacing. Does he have a buddy he can go to school with? What's happening when he is at home - does he have interests or hobbies he can spend time on to relax? If he is showing anxieties at home as well, talk to the school and ask for help as soon as possible.
Q: I am looking to send my 6 yr old to a new school where she would be the only black child in the whole school. I am worried she will stand out and she may become withdrawn and her confidence affected.
A: Why don't you try going to the school and asking her potential teacher or head what programmes they have going for citizenship. The curriculum very much supports diversity and should aim to help her, and other children in her class, support their similarities as well as their differences and celebrate both. By going to the school, you can also see their attitude towards this.
Q: Since Year 2 my son, now aged 11, has really struggled with his spelling. After pestering the school, he finally received help in Year 4. I arranged for him to be tested myself and he showed no signs of dyslexia and is an avid reader. He was tested externally and it was decided that he wasn't in need of anymore help. They suggested he be allowed to use a computer for homework, which the school won't allow. He used to achieve full marks in tests but has difficulty retrieving them in his written work. I am really worried about secondary school and SATs. I think his six-year-old brother has the same problem as well. He got 10 out of 10 at home with his spellings this week but only 5 out of 10 in a test. The school is still sending me notes saying my son needs to work harder on the tests. What can I do?
Carolyn, Luton
A: Dear Carolyn,
I'm sure with the SATs and transition to secondary school both looming you are very concerned about the situation. Since your son does well in spelling tests it could simply be that he finds writing prose a little daunting. It might not be something he enjoys doing and therefore he may not give the work his full concentration, hence the mistakes. I am very suprised that the school will not allow him to do some of his homework on a computer, especially if this has been suggested. I would ask to meet with the class teacher and head to discuss this. It would be a good idea to take some examples of test marks and written work with you to compare. I would urge the school to allow the use of a computer but stress that you would not use the automatic spell check. If you would be prepared to go through the work with your son so that he can spot his mistakes I feel this would be the way forward. With respect to secondary education, I'm sure your son will be tested at an early stage at his new secondary school, and the school will have its own strategies for dealing with any problems in place. You may simply want to encourage your younger son to take a little more care and time with his work at this early stage and see if this helps. Good luck!
