Q: My child says that one teacher allows pupils to fool around in class, disturbing the lesson for pupils who want to learn. What should I do?
A: There's no question that bad behaviour slows down the pace of the lesson, disturbs other pupils and generally reduces the amount of work covered. You should express your concern by writing a polite and tactful letter to the head teacher, who will follow up the points being raised.
For more information see the 'Discpline at School' section.
Q: My six year old son is in Year 2. He is a bright and happy child who is popular with his classmates. His class teacher is complaining about his behaviour in class, talking all the time and not listening. He is in the top group and is a very good reader although the teacher tells me that he is not working hard enough and that his handwriting and letter formation are not improving. She is very unhappy with his general conduct. He was sent to the headteacher for looking in the girls' toilets. At home he is noisy, chatty, very funny and has a highly developed sense of humour. His reading is advanced and he is popular with the neighbours and with friends. He eats anything, goes to bed at the same time every night with no fuss, plays well with his younger brother and gets plenty of attention from both parents. He is happy and loves family life - but the problems at school are affecting the whole family. What can we do?
Belinda, Cardiff
A: Is your son bored and not stretched enough? Sometimes children who are very bright need to be given extra work and differentiated work so that they can be stimulated. If they are bored, they can start to fidget and annoy others. He is still young for his handwriting to be very smooth and correct and there can be wide differences between boys and girls at this stage. However, if he is showing other difficulties with co-ordination such as difficulty with dressing, tying shoe laces, using cutlery or with ball skills, this could be a sign of developmental co-ordination disorder. This used to be called clumsy child syndrome or dyspraxia. Ask his teacher what she thinks and then if this is the case, he may need to be assessed by an Occupational Therapist. Explain to his teacher that he is fine at home and his behaviour only seems to be occurring in school. It would also be of help to know whether he behaves like this in all classes or only some. You can find more information about dyspraxia here.
Q: My son is eight years old and he is in year four at school. Since returning to school in September he has not been doing his work in class and is constantly asking silly questions. He is in the top classes but is not bright enough for the work being set. He doesn't listen to his teachers in any lessons, he is disruptive and lazy. His teacher is new and is getting quite frustrated with him. I have punished him at home in every way I can. What can I do now?Claire, Surrey
A: Dear Claire,Could your son be seeking attention through his bad behaviour? Positive reinforcement - both at home and in school - can be a very effective way of turning around poor behaviour. There's an article about it on the School Gate site - click on Parenting for good behaviour. Positive reinforcement involves trying not to point out ANY bad things he does, and to highlight instead things (however trivial) which he's done well - easy to say, but hard for the adult to do. Age eight to nine is a good time to try this - certainly the younger the child is when you adopt this approach, the better. If it works (and it can be dramatically effective) it will simply become a way of life for you both. This is an approach often favoured by schools too. It may be worth chatting to the teacher - and to the head teacher - if you're going down the positive reinforcement route. Your son's lack of concentration in class suggests that he might be finding the work too easy or too difficult. It would be a good idea to meet with his teacher to get an idea of the work he will be doing in the next weeks. You could then sit with your son to prepare him for his next lessons, going over the new information and suggesting questions for him to ask.Good luck - we hope this helps.
Q: My eleven year old son has been disruptive in class. He has been on report and the school are concerned about his social skills. I have taken his toys off him and been strict with him, but last week he was caught fighting with another pupil. I have been into the school to discuss the matter. Is there anyone who can assess him in school? I have no ideas and I am frightened this is getting out of hand.Karen, North Wales.
A:Dear Karen,Thank you for your query - we're very sorry to hear of your difficulties. It would be a good idea to talk to your son's class teacher and head teacher again. Ask his teacher what she or he thinks the problem might be and ask if they can refer you to an educational psychologist - or you can get in touch with your local education authority who will also be able to refer you. It would also be helpful to know whether he behaves like this in all classes or only some - and if he misbehaves at home as well. The education psychologist could assess your son and advise further action.
