Sara (not her real name), from Neath, writes about the profound effect that bullying has had on her life.

"Next year it will have been 20 years since I left comprehensive school. The scars of bullying are only now fading.

I went to a large comprehensive school in Swansea with a varied catchment area. I try to pinpoint what it was that made me a victim. I came from, what looked like on the outside, a nice family. My parents were professionals; we spoke properly, were brought up with good manners and were probably thought of as posh although that really wasn't the case. I was slightly overweight and fairly bright.

From my primary school only me and two boys were in my form class, all the others came from other schools in the catchment area so I had to make friends which I did. Things changed bitchy remarks about the clothes I wore, the way I spoke, my weight. I would sit on the bus with my friends in the morning, they would move. I would move to sit with them - they would move again. Most of the time they just wouldn't speak me and ignore me. This would all happen in front of others and was humiliating.

I retreated into myself and wouldn't talk to anyone trying to go into the background. In my school report my head of year wrote "she must learn to have respect for her peers". This was the final straw and I would never go to a teacher for help again. The bullying lasted the full 5 years I was there. I would sit in the PE changing room and would be verbally abused. This all came from "nice" girls. Girls from nice families whose parents would have been appalled if they had known what was happening. No wonder the teachers wouldn't help.

The effect on my education was disastrous - I came out with 3 O'levels and had to study as a mature student to get where I am today.

It has moulded who I am. I have become a pleaser, I will avoid confrontation at all costs and flippant remarks bring it all back.

Luckily I know now it was them not me. I am successful in my personal and professional life. I have a lovely family and fabulous friends but no-one should underestimate the devastating effects bullying will have on a child. Teachers have to take this very seriously as they are seen by children to be on the front line able to help."


Sara, Neath