Sometimes your teenagers can make you tongue-tied. Some ways to keep the lines of communication open:

• Include your children in discussions on big family decisions - where to go on holiday, what colour to paint the kitchen etc.
• Get out the snapshots or run the holiday video. Young people, even grumpy teenagers, like to reminisce about all their yesterdays.
• Use ancient photo albums to start a conversation about your family history. Children are always interested in their roots, it helps them to fathom out who they are.
• Discuss characters and storylines in soaps. They offer an easy springboard into talking about the big moral and social issues.
• If you want your children to be open with you, you must be open with them. What were you like in school? Who was your first sweetheart? Did you keep your room tidy? White lies are permitted.
• Find a fun activity that you and your children can do together which involves discussion, decision making, and team work. A jigsaw will do. But far better are computer adventure and simulation games.
• Remember that there are all sorts of 'talking games' you can play, including your family's version of radio and television shows such as Just a Minute. Of course, Call My Bluff is one game that teenagers and their parents play incessantly whether they realise it or not.

What if your children don't want to talk to you?

Before you tear your hair out worrying about what's wrong with your children, spend a few minutes putting yourself in their shoes. Would you like to talk to someone who...

• always wants to initiate conversations at a time that suits them - usually when you are about to watch your favourite programme?
• invariably turns every conversation into a monologue, using it as an opportunity to lecture and criticise?
• always assumes that because they happen to be older that they know best?
• tells you that you're being childish whenever you express a point of view which isn't their own?
• somehow manages to bring every conversation around to the subject of what you wear and the state of your bedroom?
• can't resist picking you up on your grammar, use of slang and your tendency to say 'like'?