Parents and schools share the responsibility of promoting values and standards which we hope will help young people to establish sound behavioural codes for their lives. It's important that parents work in partnership with their child's school, and not just leave the school to it - discipline problems can be dealt with much more effectively if both parents and school are pulling in the same direction!
We are all part of society and our behaviour will reflect current values and mores. Young people are particularly impressionable and vulnerable - much of their behaviour is learned, and they'll copy and act out what they observe to be fashionable and attractive.
Successful schools have high expectations of discipline, and promote good relationships between children and staff. They know that it's not just about how children behave in school - it's about sound preparation for later life.
Dont forget, when bad behaviour by a child is becoming a permanent feature of their lives - and yours, as a parent - it's important to consider the root causes of that behaviour, as well as the ways of dealing with it. Is the child experiencing learning difficulties? Are they having relationship or sexual problems? What about drugs?
School discipline policies
Disruptive behaviour is a concern to schools and parents - and to fellow pupils, whose education may be adversely affected. So it can't be ignored, and schools must have a well understood behaviour and discipline policy. Comments from parents and guardians about discipline issues will be welcomed by a good school.
As well as broader issues of discipline, a school's policy should address bullying, racial and sexual harassment and the sanctions the school may apply if these things occur.
Everyone needs to be clear about what is and what is not acceptable. Most youngsters appreciate the need for a disciplined school, understand fair play and are often ready to acknowledge their misdemeanours.
Thinking positive
Schools with a positive ethos engender a sense of purpose and of pride in their staff and pupils - everyone feels valued. Praise is a great reward and will usually generate a positive response, and schools which emphasise the positive are usually good at discipline too.
Sometimes staff negotiate behavioural targets or written contracts with a child and give rewards for behaving well. Some schools reward pupils with stars, and others points, tokens, vouchers or certificates by way of commendation and encouragement. Parents can have a valuable supportive role in helping children to achieve these targets.
It is important for young people, whatever their ability, to feel that they can succeed. Persistent failure generates disaffection. Equally, it is important that children understand that positive attitudes and behaviour are good in themselves, and not just about getting praise or a reward.
Some schools encourage young people to monitor their own behaviour, which can be both a positive and a worthwhile part of pupils' learning.
Bad behaviour
Everyone needs to understand that there's a clear link between behaviour and consequence. Pupils must learn that if their behaviour is unacceptable, an appropriate punishment will follow.
No-one wants to over react to small misdemeanours, where humour can often defuse tension, but serious disruption needs to be dealt with straight away.
Where bad behaviour is repeated, communication between schools and parents is vital - staff and parents are in partnership. Sometimes written correspondence or a telephone call from one partner to another can avoid problems escalating.
When unacceptable behaviour persists, a teacher may withdraw a child's privileges, impose sanctions, or put them on report for closer monitoring. Teachers may tell a child to attend a detention at the end of a session. By law, they must first give parents at least 24 hours' written notice, which should include the reason for the child's detention.
Corporal punishment is illegal - nobody should contemplate hitting a child. On rare occasions, reasonable force is allowed in school to control or restrain when other approaches have failed. This should never be a punishment, cause injury, or be intended to humiliate. If it happens, parents should be notified and told why the action was necessary.
Exclusion from school (for a fixed period or permanently) will always be a last resort, taken only in response to serious indiscipline or when possible harm may occur. Head teachers and local education authorities have to follow strict procedures on exclusion, and parents always have the right to appeal against their child's exclusion.
Useful websites
More information about discipline at home
Information and guidance from the Department for Education and SkillsSee our section on positive discipline
The BBC is not responsible for the content of external internet sites