Dear Chief Constable let me say
I have been reading about you today.
May I ask, when you took up your profession
Did you think you would end up with an obsession?
You have a thing about motorists and speed
A Welshman would agree saying, he does indeed.
When you joined the police force, so many years ago
Catching criminals was your job, as you so well know.
Speeding motorists are neither right or nice
But I would hardly classify what they do as vice.
By all means let the camera do its job
While you in your position, concentrate on criminal and yob.
Where is the constable who used to have a beat
For goodness sake get him back on the street.
Whilst walking down the town's High Street the other day
I observed one, I thought he must have lost his way.
This is the sort of jibe, that you must expect
Until you get your policing policy correct.
The public need to feel protected
At present time they feel neglected.
I fail to understand your recent outburst of rage
Or is it something to do with this spin age.
Where having failed to give us protection
You try to turn our thoughts in another direction.
How about you changing your direction
By raising the percentage of your detection.
From your present six and a quarter all time low
You haven't really very far to go.
Just one per cent would be very nice
Making an inroad into vice.
Just leave the camera to do its job
You concentrate on criminal and yob.
Instead of your officers slapping on sun-cream to keep pale
They should be slapping the criminals in jail.
They only need their stress balls when they meet up with you
Reporting the criminals they have caught are very few.
So come on Chief Constable show us of what you are made
At £94,000 a year you are hardly under paid.

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