Did you dream of me last night?
Recall the wasted hours at your expense?
Frustrated seconds of passionless moments,
The element of rejoicing in my words?

No, thankfulness is your undoing.
Mirror smiles your exit in demand.
You gaze without comprehending
The utter reality to which you're childishly blind.

Meaningless platitudes
Of undying gratitude.
These things I do for you
And you alone
Emit no pleasure to my insecurities.

Drain washed life, dreaming filled,
Fantasy fuelled, an unreal and future you.
What is there to lead me on but you?
You in all your hope,
You in all your future,
The destiny I so desire from this riddled existence
I call my oh-so happy life.

This is not my life.
This is plain living.
This is just being.
This is just existing.
With you ever unattainable
Save for one snatched moment of intolerable madness.
The youthful indiscretion in the back seat of a car.
Excuse us, we may be some time.
But we weren't. And nothing passed.

Was it really that simple negative:
The interminable levels of sheer utter flaccid disappointment.
The habitual rejection?

Yet, your aromatic experience, forever hovers.
The indescribable essence of you.
So indelible I can not bear to look at you.
Pausing at your eyes, intolerable, unyielding,
And yet, it's present. The tone reveals you.
Deluges of meaningless gratitude. You've never really meant it,
Have you?

So did you dream of me last night?