Llangollen's really no big deal,
It's just a place with a bridge,
Ice creams in the freezer,
Posh sarnies in the fridge;
Spot the dodgy geezer
On the pavement pretending to paint,
And when it rains there's a river,
And when it doesn't there ain't.

Llangollen's not that good, you know,
It's mostly cut-price coats,
Choo-choo trains and knick-knacks,
Cheapo table d'hotes;
Spot the pair with the rucksacks,
One thing you can rely on,
They're going to nick that parking space,
The one you had your eye on.

Llangollen's not that brilliant,
It's beautiful I know,
And when we two were both in love
It's where we used to go;
Castell Dinas Brân above
The Corn Mill and The Hand,
Llangollen's not so glorious, though,
Llangollen's not so grand.

Valentines

Bunch of flowers, thirty quid;
Did she like them? Yes she did.
Valentine's Day, what a con;
Two weeks later she was gone.