Deb writes: On becoming hospitalised due to mental health illness, I was very scared of this new situation. One day I saw a neighbour who told me about the MIND group she ran and the topics they cover during meetings. I feel that it is a very relaxing, pleasant group to attend. On one occasion I announced that I had written (what I call) poems - something I can only do when in a very bad state of health. I am passing my poems on to you, in an attempt to let others relate to the feelings associated with mental health illnesses. Thank you, MIND.

The Failing
Hello dear friend,
I hope you are well,
I'm sorry, this has to be our farewell,
But I'm going through a living hell.

It's nothing you have done,
It's me - I've flipped my lid,
I know you'll be safe in your new home,
I just wish I could have hid.

I don't know why I've got this disease,
But I know you don't deserve this strain,
I am hoping and praying, please,
Go and meet someone else who'll love you again.

I have never done this before,
I mean writing a sort of poem,
I know I'm not doing my dutiful chore,
'Cause I'm not aware of what I'm doin'.

I don't like me right now, or how I am,
It feels like all of my life is one big sham,
I loved you once with all my heart - that's for sure,
But if I don't know me anymore, it's not fair to ask from you anymore.
You've shown great patience - and taken loads of flak,
Now you've got to agree to give me the sack.

I'm sorry for all the pain I must have done,
But now it's time that I was gone,
Look to your future, and have a good life,
I know you'll make someone a perfect wife.

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Midnight hour
More than an hour in my bed has gone by,
Yet I'm still looking out at the blackened sky,
The wind is blowing on my trees,
Why is it me who's got this disease?
I don't understand what you've done with my head,
Just please leave me alone so I can go to bed.

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Jeckyll or Hyde
Hello dear book, it's me again,
Shall we look at my living hell?
Some time has passed since I last wrote,
But it's gone too fast for another note.

My life is a mess, it's out of my control,
I don't know what's best, surely I deserve some parole?
I don't know who I am,
Am I Jeckyll or am I Hyde?
This loss of my identity
Is shakin' all my pride.

It's not just me whose life you're wreckin',
There's others involved, so don't be forgettin',
When I'm good my life is shared,
When I'm bad I get so scared,
I don't want to share myself when I'm bad,
I push away my partner which makes us sad.

When good, my partner is such fun,
I feel special, like I'm 'the one'.
When I'm bad, I'm a bitch and I shun,
I just wish they were gone.

I don't deserve to be on my own,
Although right now I think it's best,
I am a good person, even a clown,
Oh why can't I be content like everyone else?

After all I've gone through
I deserve better than this, surely, please,
Isn't there some way of sorting out this disease?

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