So you wanna go around in circles?

What’s the story?
Our video clip features a day out in the country with John Lundberg of the ‘controversial’ field-art movement Circlemakers, see Links, wherein we were offered some insider knowledge on how to form one of those, er, ‘mysterious’ crop-art anomalies.

Hold on a second, I thought crop circles were the work of alien beings?
Well, dependent on which school of (non) science you subscribe too, Crop Circles are either a clever man-made hoax, the works of natural forces, or coded signs left by visitors from another galaxy. See Trivia for a full list suspects.

So you’re telling me that those mind-boggling crop formations, far from being the work of a superior race from the Andromeda Galaxy, are in fact the formless doodlings of an unemployed chicken plucker from Sidcup?
Something like that, yes.

Fantastic! how do I join in?
Ah… Well, first up, if you’re intending to join the ranks of those who believe crop circles are man-made, and want to prove it, you ought to know that such activities are deemed to be highly criminal.

You mean the people who believe they’re the work of little green men think it’s ‘criminal’?
No – they think it’s sacrilege. It’s the law what thinks it is criminal.

Eh? How come?
Well have a think about it… The three most popular crops used for crop-circle formations are oil-seed rape, barley, and wheat. Farmers cultivate them, and when they are ‘destroyed’ by circle makers, the farmers claim that they lose the value of the crops to these pesky trespassers and their ‘arty’ claptrap.

Really? Has anyone been nicked then?
Thus far, no aliens have been arrested and charged with criminal damage to farmland. Mathew Williams of Devizes was the first mere mortal to be had up for creating a seven-point star circle in a field near his home.

What did he get? Life?
Nah, a £100 fine.

So how come Mr John Lundberg and his ‘Circlemaker’ friends haven’t been done?
Well, there are two main reasons why the Circlemakers have yet to be collared:

1) Aside from creating their masterpieces by cover of darkness, they don’t claim any credit whatsoever for the majority of their formations – thus, nobody can finger them for the crime.

2) The Circlemakers crew have gone over ground in certain instances, creating crop-circles for television programmes and commercial adverts (the footage used in our video was filmed during the making of a crop circle for a car advert), and being granted permission, or paying farmers to allow them to use their fields.

So all I need to get going is a piece of land, and the farmer’s permission?
In theory, yes. But what farmer in their right mind is going to let a complete novice practice making intricate geometrical patterns in their precious yield? Still, if you must – check out Must Have for the Circlemakers’ own recommended equipment.

So really you reckon making crop circles for a hobby is a bit of a non-goer?
Listen, far be it for us to put up barriers, but legalities apart, there is an awful lot of unmitigated bunkum surrounding the ‘mysterious’ world of crop circles.

So?
So, despite the profound lack of crop circles in sacred Wales, we basically recommend you enjoy the whole thing as a spectator sport.