"Well, it all began with me living with five brothers and four sisters. I was happy back then. My mum was great. But after a while people came and started taking my brothers and sisters away. I didn't understand why. Then one day it was my turn. I was very scared. But my new place smelt nice. There was a big black thing there which I knew wasn't a dog. They called it Missey, not a friendly thing at all. But we've since learnt to live together.
My new mum and dad love me loads. They kept saying Buddy, so I guess this was my name.
I'd just found my paws and liked where I was when, what's going on? Mum and Dad are running around like scared cats. Dad's throwing stuff in a big red thing and mum is putting stuff in bags. What is she doing with my chewy sticks and that stripy stuff? There's that metal thing from the shed. Ah, there's that big long board they takes in the water. That's the way, cram it all in the red thing so there's no room for me. Yeah go on, as usual, that flipping big boat takes pride of place. I jump in the big red thing, it moves very fast, much faster than I can run. Halfway down the street and we're off back because mum's forgotten something. Wait a minute, no not a stop, oh the red thing must be thirsty, it's drinking lots of water. Right, now we're really on our way. There's no more stops for sure. The red things fed and we're hitting a fierce speed down a long road. Ah, great I love this bit where the houses finish and the grass begins, up over the fields, through the lanes. I hope it's not long now. I'm burning up in here.
And there we have it and it takes my breath away, a massive bowl of water stretched as far as the eye can see. Right then, time for a laugh. I'll chill out here ha ha ha and watch them put up the blue wobbly house. I could help them but I'm not going to. Ha ha look at them, not a clue between them.
There's that metal thing again. Hold on. Dad's been playing around with that for hours, smoke everywhere. Here comes the food, but oh, where's that going? Ah that's what the metal thing's for, Sausages. Oh they're great, any more? (Snoring followed by guitar music)
Why Oh what's that? does he always wind me up with that massive stick? What's that strange screeching noise all about? It's terrible. Why doesn't he just throw it for me? Never mind, I've got a full belly, the sun is cooling down, I'm with the people I love. I wonder what tomorrow has in store for me?"