Being bilingual

"Lowri or Lowri? Caerffili or Caerphilly? First prize at the Eisteddfod or a night out with a kebab on the way home? Should I dream in Welsh or English? Which is it to be then? Being a Welsh speaker in the Rhymney Valley is like being a tourist abroad or living in a parallel universe. When I was young we would speak English at home but at night I would count in Welsh in my sleep as if secretly exploring my other self. My sister, brother and I would plot all sorts of scams in Welsh as my mother tried to piece together the odd words she'd learned from us. This dual existence has been exciting and always useful. In our predominantly English-speaking village we were called Welshies. I thought everyone was Welsh but obviously you can be Welsh with a difference.

Sometimes, I feel like some sort of phenomenon but at the same time enjoy the strange admiration that comes with requests like "Go on, say something in Welsh," or "Say that place with the long Welsh name." It makes me sad that it makes me feel like I'm being asked to speak in a foreign language. I enjoy being a 'Welshie' and I love being bilingual. It's like I'm floating between two worlds, dipping in and out of two pools. Does it matter that I never know to which crowd I really belong? Is it really the case that I'm betraying one language by jumping into bed with the other?

"...in the darkness
Long bracelets of twinkling lights
And here with the mountain breeze on your brow
Consider the folk in the numberless streets
Between the long dark ridges north to south..."

The poetry of Idris Davies, the English voice of the Rhymney Valley, stirs my emotions but my anger bubbles when I hear someone trying to bury the Welsh language under a heap of contempt. "What's the point? No one speaks Welsh any more." and sometimes it feels like I'm the only one who does and that I defending Cantonese, not Cymraeg. It makes me laugh when someone says "No I don't speak Welsh, bach", and then turns to a child and shouts "Ych a fi, you dirty mochyn!" That just about sums up what I love and hate about being a tourist abroad in the Rhymney Valley. I'm happy being a Welsh speaker but what I hate is the exclusive membership card you seem to need to join the club. That's why I now work for an organisation that creates new opportunities to learn and enjoy the language. What I want to do is to open some doors and let everyone join the club.

Anyway I'm off to the Eisteddfod for a kebab as Lowri and Lowri and maybe a night out in Caerffili or was it Caerphilly?"

Please tell us about yourself.
I'm 25 years old and although I come from an English speaking background, my parents chose to send both myself, my brother and my sister to a Welsh medium school. I'm therefore a fluent Welsh speaker and completely bilingual. Having studied for a degree in the University of Wales, Aberystwyth, I have now returned to work for a Welsh language initiative for Caerphilly Borough.

What's your story about?
My story focuses on my feelings and conflicts I sometimes encounter as a Welsh speaker in a predominantly English speaking area. I feel a great affinity with Welsh speakers but also those who do not speak Welsh - as the majority of my family cannot speak the language. My story celebrates bilingualism but also tries to come to terms with the conflict that can arise between the languages and how I strive to find a place within both language groups. I hope my story expresses my sadness at the danger of both groups becoming exclusive and failing to develop a mutual respect and affinity between Welsh speakers and non Welsh speakers.

Why did you choose to tell this particular story?
It discusses an issue which I feel is an integral part of my identity and an issue which I feel extremely strongly about. I was also eager to share my feelings and experiences with other bilingual individuals and non Welsh speakers, which I hope can begin to destroy some stereotypical ideas concerning Welsh speakers. Despite the serious and sensitive issue discussed in my story I also hope that there is a strong sense of fondness towards both the English and Welsh language and a humour which typifies the linguistic nature of the Rhymney Valley.

Your comments

"The WAG does promote the welsh language to the tune of £94million per year just for S4C, a princely sum for a limited audience.I believe language is like faith, a personal thing nothing to do with anyone else. I've no objection to any faith or language, most of us have other things on our mind." Hank Tudor, The parish of Gelligaer.

"An interesting peek into cultural identity! I enjoyed the translations you showed onscreen during the dialogue, and the various bilingual signs that were shown reminded me of the French-English split in my own country." Kevin, Ontario, Canada.

"I know what Lowri means when she said she loved being a 'Welshie' - I'm fluent in both Irish and English (learning Welsh too)and I get the same treatment i.e. being asked to say something in Irish like its some weird and estranged language. Still, despite that, I'm proud of my language." Scott from Dublin, Ireland/Eire.

"I agree with everything Lowri has said regarding this debate. It really annoys me when people always say 'Go on say something in welsh' it makes me feel like a foreigner in my own country. I believe that the goverment should promote the welsh language and encourage people to 'siarad iaith ein gwlad' :)" Watkins, Caerphilly.