Postcards from Paradise?
Leanne recalls her adventures from around the globe ...
"Dear All - Asia,
Got asked if we wanted to see ping-pong then play spot the lady-boy. Lizards, ants and poisonous flying things - all for £4 a night. Luckily, the only snakes we saw were on the menu. Drove down a one-way street the wrong way and no one even noticed.
Dear All - Singapore,
Everywhere is no smoking and it's making me crazy. Singapore slings - that's how I imagined evil would taste.
Dear All - Indonesia,
Met monkeys; nearly drowned and adopted ten stray dogs. Temples, temples, temples.
Dear All - Australia,
Had a reward of Grand Prix tickets because Beth had caught a bag-snatcher; bonded with a possum, a wombat and laughing crocks; bought a car and saw rain for the first time in five months and found out that our windscreen wipers didn't actually work. Nearly drowned again!
Dear All - Merry Christmas,
Received a present of Marmite in the post and had a tree made from cereal boxes and tinfoil; Christmas dinner of pumpkin in a seedy café, sat next to drag queens. But New Year more than made up for it with fireworks and FourX.
Dear All - New Zealand,
Had a dip in a mineral thermal spa, but it was like being boiled alive so we jumped out sharpish!
Dear All - Fiji,
Deserted white beaches, which is a good thing as some swine has pinched my bikini top.
Dear All - L.A.,
Ultimate stalker heaven - homes of the stars and the very, very strange. Saw one of the churches Elizabeth Taylor got married in and George Michael's favourite toilets.
Dear All - Las Vegas,
In the middle of the dessert, but wore the only jumper I had all week as it's absolutely freezing.
Breathtaking scenery, fascinating wildlife, history and romance - it's good to be home. East or West, home is definitely best."
End slide for Beth, Liz and Maley - my travelling buddies and friends for life.