"People think I'm mad when they know my peculiar tastes. They laugh at me when they visit my house. From the outside it looks pretty normal, but let me invite you in. I've always liked different things from collecting crucifixes to garden gargoyles. Around my house I have various items which most people would think very odd. Like the cupboard I had made. Neighbours were saddened when it was carried into the house and positively horrified when it didn't come back out. I have lots of little oddities floating around. I like nothing better than searching car boot sales for the slightly unusual, really weird and totally bizarre. Even our car is different. My two daughters share a similar taste in the weird and wonderful and are now building up their own little collection. Aaaaahhh! What's that?
On a recent trip to London with the gang from work you would think a nice meal and a theatre ticket the norm but no, we ended up in a church yard near St Bart's hospital at 10.00 o'clock discussing grave robbers, plague pits and Jack the Ripper. Wonderful stuff. On our next trip we plan to visit Highgate Cemetery, noted for its gothic architecture and infamous residents.
After years of accumulating the peculiar, my family have not so much as raised an eyebrow when I bring in my latest find. I keep telling them they'll be rich when I'm dead although I don't think they're convinced. And for this reason, I would like to dedicate my story to them. I bet you're all wondering what sort of family is this. Well, here we are."