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16 October 2014

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Dream Job

By Joseph Quirk
March 2007, Lanelli
A digital story from Coleg Sir Gâr

"I get up in the morning, have a shower in my power shower and get dressed for work. I go to work on the top floor of a multi-million pound company with views of the River Thames. My job is with PCs and mobile phones. I have currently made 2050 mobile phones. The phone you are using now, I probably made it or designed it. I am currently developing a mobile that charges itself. I won't say what the idea is just in case one of you decides to pinch it. I have also currently made approximately 5000 computers and 1200 servers for well known companies.

I start my job at 10.00 and finish at 8.00. My secretary, in her own office, is like a doll to look at. With an IQ of 150, her job is to do all the trivial work for me.

I'm also developing a new computer that controls a car. When it is finished it will control brakes, acceleration, lights, suspension and music. If you're a driver you will know what I mean. It's annoying when an oncoming car has their full beams on and forgets to turn them off. Well, my computer won't, it will knock the full beam off as soon as it senses a light brighter than 30% of a normal beam. This will allow the driver to see the road and not white spots.

I currently earn £250,000 per year which is roughly £20,000 a month. Sorry I've got to go for lunch soon, it's smoked salmon and caviar today with the usual bottle of champagne. I'll have king prawns for a snack. People could say that I live a life of luxury and that I could get anything I want when I want.

Do you want a job like this? Wouldn't it be nice if all dreams came true?"

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