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Tellytales: Programme 05 - Tha Snek Chairmer (Script)

Tellytales: Programme 05 - Tha Snek Chairmer (Script)

PERFORMANCE NOTES

Most pronunciations are phonetic. Where you see an umlaut (pair of dots) above an ‘i’, this should be pronounced with an ‘a’ sound - eg Quïck is pronounced Quack and Kïng is pronounced Kang. The gutteral ‘ch’ sound in words like ‘licht’ and ‘nicht’ should be sounded as clearly as possible.

You will need the following cast members:

  • Storyteller - can be boy or girl. We used P6 and P7 pupils.
  • Young Children - about three or four boys or girls. We used P2 and P3 pupils.
  • Choir - to sing the two songs.

ACCOMPANYING MATERIAL

(a) An Ulster-Scots version of Song 1 is available by clicking here
(b) A ‘backing track’ for Song 1 is available by clicking here
(c) An Ulster-Scots version of Song 2 is available by clicking here
(d) A ‘backing track’ for Song 2 is available by clicking here

SCRIPT

1. STORYTELLER
This wee bit crack is caa’ed …

2. CHILDREN
Tha Snek Chairmer

3. STORYTELLER
Lang, lang syne in a kintrie the’ caa Indye, thar leeved a mon cried Ashok.

Ashok bidit wi his guidwife, Sashi, an his guid freen, Kali.

Noo, Kali wus a kine o a byornar billie, seein she wus a … snek!

4. CHILDREN
A snek?

5. STORYTELLER
Aye, Kali wus a snek – dinnae fash yersel, but, she wus a gye hamely soart o a snek, an Ashok thocht she wus maissssst sssssonsssssy!

6. STORYTELLER
Ashok wus a snek chairmer!

7. CHILDREN
Oooo!

8. STORYTELLER
Whanivver Ashok fingert his whussle, Kali wud daunce tae tha lilt o’t.

9. CHILDREN
Vow! Cuil!

10. STORYTELLER
Ashok wus richt canny at the snek chairmin, an Kali wus wuntherfu at tha dauncin.

Sowl, Ashok wus aafa puir but – he’d nae siller ava.

11. CHILDREN
Aww!

12. STORYTELLER
Ashok wus leevin in a totie wee toonlan.

Tha fowk he haed aboot him wus gled tae leuk tha road o Ashok’s snek chairmin, but the’ haednae tha reuchness o siller tae gie him …

13. SONG 1
In this creel it’s hurkled doon
Sliddery an lappit roon
Dinnae lat a SCRECH
Whan Ah lowse tha snek.

Wi tha bonnie musick playin
It wull be a pooerfu daein.
Jouk tha flichterin fang –
Ye daurnae dae it wrang.

An aye Ah fing’r yit an blaw
This creelie’s tap is shuin awa
This snek wull dae a daunce
Thar’s nae saicon chaunce!
Thar’s nae saicon chaunce!

14. STORYTELLER
The’ daen gye an weel. Tha skep fur siller wus empie, but.

Whut cud he dae noo?

15. CHILDREN
Aww! Aww!

16. STORYTELLER
Wi thon, Ashok haed a thocht.

Wud he no be betther tae gie tha city a birl?

Thar wud be clatters o fowk there – an clatters o fowk wud bring in mair siller!

17. CHILDREN (Knowingly)
Aaah!

18. STORYTELLER
Tha morn Ashok an Kali wun tae tha thrang city.

19. CHILDREN
Vow!

20. STORYTELLER
He fun a bit o grun an stairtit tae pit up his stan. It wus time tae dae his stuff!

21. SONG 2
In this creel it’s hurkled doon
Sliddery an lappit roon
Dinnae lat a SCRECH
Whan Ah lowse tha snek.

Wi tha bonnie musick playin
It wull be a pooerfu daein.
Jouk tha flichterin fang –
Ye daurnae dae it wrang.

An aye Ah fing’r yit an blaw
This creelie’s tap is shuin awa
This snek wull dae a daunce
Thar’s nae saicon chaunce!
Thar’s nae saicon chaunce!

22. STORYTELLER
Tha fowk wus aa taen up wi tha ect.

23. CHILDREN
Vow! Whit an ect!

24. STORYTELLER
Tha fowk wus lashin siller intae tha skep.

25. STORYTELLER
Ashok an Kali wus aa made up wi thairsels – sowl, the’ wur hairt-gled aathegither! … (Yeo!) …

The’ haednae seen that muckle siller afore!

The’ cudnae haud bek frae takkin tha siller hame tae gie Sashi a leuk.

Ashok an Kali didnae ken, but, thar wus twa sleekit robbers keepin an ee on thaim.

26. CHILDREN
Boo!

27. SONG 3 (RAP)
We’r twa tories, we’r no that douce!
We waarant it’s a splore gin we tak stuff frae yer hoose!

We aye neuk gear an we dinnae hae tha richt
Wheesht, cooried doon, hiddlins in tha nicht.

We are hairt-scalds, herryin aa tha day
We’ll tak aa yer goold, an aa yer siller tae.

Thar’s a big skep o siller noo insteid
It’s no oors but we dinnae fash oor heid!

Fash oor heid, fash oor heid,
Aw naw! Ha! Ha!

28. STORYTELLER
Awa hame in tha toonlan, Sashi wus aa made up wi seein Ashok an Kali. (Aww!)

She wus dumfoonthert whanivver she saa aa tha siller … whar wud the’ plank it, but, she wunnert?

29. CHILDREN
Ahm …

30. STORYTELLER
Tha siller haed tae be planked whar it wud cum tae nae hairm …

Wud tha shade no be a guid place tae plank tha siller, thocht Sashi …

Ashok an Sashi didnae ken, but, ’at tha twa sleekit robbers wus keepin an ee on thaim.

31. CHILDREN
Och naw!

32. STORYTELLER
Tha robbers crep aff tae fyn a hidy-hole nixt tha shade.

The’d haud on tae Ashok an Sashi haed gane tae thair bed an syne the’ wud tak aa tha siller!

33. CHILDREN
Boo.

34. STORYTELLER
Houl on til ye hear, but…

35. CHILDREN
Whit?

36. STORYTELLER
Weel, tha robbers didnae ken ’at Kali aye slep in her creel in tha shade.

An syne, cud ye jalouse whit happent?

37. CHILDREN
Naw, whit?

38. STORYTELLER
On a suddent Sashi taen anither thocht - it wus a daft notion tae plank tha skep o siller in tha shade!

She thocht it wud be a hantle betther tae plank it in thair chaummer, whar hersel an Ashok cud kep an ee tae it.

39. CHILDREN
Aah (knowingly). G’on yer best!

40. STORYTELLER
Sae Sashi taen tha siller skep intae tha hoose an Ashok kerried Kali in her creel tae tha shade furtae coorie doon fur tha nicht!

In coorse, Ashok didnae ken tha robbers wus in hiddlins nixt tha shade, waitin on neuckin tha skep fu o siller … or sae the’ thocht…

41. CHILDREN
Giggle

42. STORYTELLER
Tha robbers wus hairt-gled tae see Ashok gaun tae his bed.

Oot the’ crep … slow … slow.

Intae tha shade the’ crep … lown … lown ….

43. CHILDREN
The’r in fur a quare gunk!

44. STORYTELLER
Canny, the taen tha tap o tha skep aff an …

… Kali louped oot!

45. CHILDREN
Laughing

46. STORYTELLER
Tha twa robbers wur that feart, the’ rin awa screchin wi fricht!

47. CHILDREN
Laughing

48. STORYTELLER
Whanivver Ashok an Sashi heerd tha screch, the’ breenged oot tha hoose furtae see wus oniethin wrang.

The’ saw tha twa feart robbers rinnin awa!

Ashok an Sashi wus aa made up wi Kali.

This cannie snek haed fleyed tha twa robbers awa.

49. CHILDREN
Hooray! Kali cum guid!!

50. STORYTELLER
Tha siller wus safe doon tae thair ssssswunger o a pet snek Kali!

51. SONG 4
In this creel it’s hurkled doon
Sliddery an lappit roon
Dinnae lat a SCRECH
Whan Ah lowse tha snek.

Wi tha bonnie musick playin
It wull be a pooerfu daein.
Jouk tha flichterin fang –
Ye daurnae dae it wrang.

An aye Ah fing’r yit an blaw
This creelie’s tap is shuin awa
This snek wull dae a daunce
Thar’s nae saicon chaunce!
Thar’s nae saicon chaunce!

52. STORYTELLER
An Ashok, Sashi an their cannie sliddery snek leeved blythe frae thon oot.

Tha Enn.


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