Yes, ladies and gentlemen, it’s the 2006 Funny Bones new comedian of the year! Did you know some of the best things in the world have been discovered by Geordies? That great post-rave staple Lucozade (or Gluocosade as it was known before becoming an international brand) was invented in 1927 by a Newcastle chemist. So too were two other over-the-counter pick-me-ups - Eno's and Andrew's Liver Salts (taking its name from St Andrew's Church on Newgate Street). But I digress...
 | | Ms Wilby, Mr Larkin, Ms Martin and Ms Black |
For a more palatable tonic, my trusty side kick Nick Roberts and I (Yve!) went forth to sample the cream de la crème of up-and-coming comedy talent at the Funny Bones Grand Final 2006. The venue, The Newton Park, Benton, was "chocka" and the audience were seated and ready to rock. Each comedian was given eight minutes to "show us the funny" and our compere for the evening was Nik Coppin. The 2006 Funny Bones New Comedian of the Year finalists: Bethany Black
Tony Vino
Rosie Wilby
Daniel Bland
Christina Martin
Jay Ryan
Wendy Wasson
Damian Larkin So without further ado, here is Yve's and Nick's pick of the comedy bunch. Being first on stage must be a mixed blessing. The audience are still relatively sober. It's only 8pm and it’s going to be a long night. What's more the first act on stage is not only a lass, but a Goth! Bethany Black A seductively intriguing cross between Marilyn Manson and Corrie's Haley Cropper (I’m alluding to ambiguous androgyny), Bethany's material is as black has her eye shadow and her delivery as dead-pan as a Goth at a garden centre. But how did the Sapphic, sullen princess of darkness go down in Benton? | "Bethany Black - A seductively intriguing cross between Marilyn Manson and Corrie's Haley Cropper." | | Yve Ngoo |
Very well! Her lesbian George Formby act is a "must see", particularly once she's installed her breast implants with built-in squeaker. Rosie Wilby Rosie Wilby is best known as a critically acclaimed singer/songwriter. However, prompted by friends and fans who often found themselves in fits of giggles at her silly between-song banter, Rosie decided to expand her repertoire to comedy, finding herself as a finalist in Funny Woman 2006. Rosie is an amiable, Kylie-sized pocket-Venus who packs a punch. Maybe, for the Newton Park punters, Rosie was just a little too stealth in her approach (rather than attack). But I liked her. A lot. She speaks a lot of sense for a comedian! Daniel Bland
 | | Tony Vino, Wendy Wasson, Jay Ryan & Daniel Bland |
Newcomer, Daniel Bland is exactly that - small in stature and rather nondescript, though I guess this is part of his assumed persona. Bland sprouts forth an erratic stream of consciousness, but you often wonder just who he's talking to. If you imagine the late Ian Cutis had chosen to do stand-up (rather than join Joy Division) that should give you an idea of Bland’s appeal. Christina Martin Petite, cute and deeply offensive! How can such profanity, blasphemy and down right badness come from of such a lovely lass? She makes Christina Aguilera look like Angelina Ballerina. Aside from the stand-up, Christina is a keen comedy writer. She has also been a regular feature writer for Viz Comic since April 2006. As part of her intelligent, bold and funny act, Christina takes a wry swipe at organised religion. Duck for cover - this lady has teeth. Jay Ryan A big Scouse lad with a big presence – defiantly the punters favourite. Pulling no punches, Jay's rock solid brand of observational and no nonsense comedy hits you square on.
 | | Nick's decisive Thumb of Justice |
It may not be funny being fat - but he is fat and very funny; though very much a "blokey" comic. Jay is one of the more professional and competent turns in the competition – though not my fave. But what do I know? Jay got the big thumb's up from my partner in mirth, master Nick Roberts!
And the winner is… Big-hearted, colossus of comedy, Jay Ryan. Good luck and "Big Up" to the big man - come back soon. | 
