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24 September 2014
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Fancy Dress

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Spice Girls

Remember, the Spice Girl rule of thumb is less is more. Take Geri (not literally, like Robbie) - her look is easy to achieve. All you need is a hair colourscheme bordering on the schizo-follic, your nan's best Union Jack tea towel and a dollop of collagen for that full lipped look (If you can't get collagen, we suggest that icky gelatin goop you get in pork pies). Classic Geri!

As for Scary, the key is not in what you wear, but in your mind state. If you can replicate the edgy look of a Vietnam veteran on a day trip to Center Parcs - you're more than halfway there. Then put your bra and knickers on and run through a shawl stall backwards. Top it off with a lesson at the Xanadu school of make up application and voila! Scary!

The Posh look is also quite easy to achieve. Go to New Look armed with a picture of Mrs Beckham and a stopwatch and they'll have you sorted in six minutes flat. Then all you have to do is remember not to eat for a full two weeks before the party. Simple.

When dressing for the Sporty look, just apply the simple rule that the Spice Girl stylists took. Leave everything to the last minute and in a mad rush chuck on a pair of traccy bottoms and a boob tube. And don't skimp on the ice cubes.

And finally, Baby Emma Bunton is a little harder to achieve. Simply take Emma's mum, invent time travel and travel back 30 years, then let her become your personal stylist. Then travel forwards 30 years in the clothes she gave you. Easy.

Your choice of attire might cause some confusion with some, who'll no doubt think you've either made an effort, or that the clubs have just kicked out. Whatever you do, don't travel alone! There's nothing sadder than a lone Spice Girl, just ask Posh, or Mel B, err... or Baby for that matter. Don't ask Geri though, she'll just regale you with tales of life-energy efficiency (a la Economy 7) and how she wants to go off and live as a pirate. Also, whatever you do, don't arrive in anything less plush than a stretch limo. If you turn up in a mini-cab, everyone might mistake you for the real Spice Girls. Argh!

Ooooh dear, you'll get chapped lips if you're not careful, and what are you doing with my Union Jack tea towel?


U Got The Look
Pusscycat dresses for the girls. Platforms for the boys.
Adam Ant
Adam Ant
Stand & deliver! Be a real prince charming with this look.
David Bowie
David Bowie
Fancy going all Ziggy Stardust? Spandex and makeup to the ready.
Human League
Human League
Lopsided haircuts for the boys and shocking eye makeup for the girls.
Michael Jackson
Shamone! How to achieve this look without cutting of your nose.
If there's a look, Madonna's had it. We recommend the Blond Ambition style.
MC Hammer
This man certainly had a distinctive look. Whether you want to copy it is up to you!
Pepsi & Shirley
Puffball skirts, pettycoats and knee-high socks.
Shakin Stevens
Comb up that quiff, put on the crepe-souled shoes and don a pink jacket.
Whether you wanna be Dave Hill or Noddy Holder, you'll look crazee like this.
Spandau Ballet
To cut a long story short, this smoothie style has got to be gold.
Mel C & Geri
Spice Girls
Sporty, Ginger, Baby, Scary and Posh. We got the tips for the ladies.
Even if you don't want to adopt the Wham! look, the pictures are worth a laugh.

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