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24 September 2014
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Fancy Dress

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Madonna's Jean Paul Gaultier designed, Blonde Ambition look, circa 1990, (complete with lethal conical bra designed to damage a retina at 10 paces) is perhaps one of the trickiest Madge looks to pull off. Unless of course you count those limb challenging, spread-eagled poses in her controversial book, Sex (and you probably don't want to emulate that look this Christmas unless it's one of those strange suburban 'swingers' parties...)

The fishnets and boots you'll probably already have. [Yes, I do - Ed]. If you do move in celebrity circles, Erasure singer Andy Bell may well have a gold lame basque knocking about in his wardrobe, failing that, Marilyn may be able to help. Otherwise, Top Shop and Hennes stores stock cheap alternatives while Ann Summers stock the more expensive, raunchier alternatives) and you'll probably need that can of gold spray paint. Can’t afford a Gaultier conical bra? How about calling on that Blue Peter experience? Spray paint two large, free range egg cardboard box holders and attach to some elastic bands. Ex-Blue Peter presenter Caron Keating fashioned exactly such a look for episode 4, 567 of the show. (An idea that had to be nixed in rehearsals when the segment aroused an adverse reaction in co-presenter John Leslie.)

Hailing a cab should prove a cinch in your blonde wig, basque and fishnets so at least you'll get a ride home. (No jokes here please)
Could you face the other way dear, your bra is interfering with Terry Wogan on Radio 2.

U Got The Look
Pusscycat dresses for the girls. Platforms for the boys.
Adam Ant
Adam Ant
Stand & deliver! Be a real prince charming with this look.
David Bowie
David Bowie
Fancy going all Ziggy Stardust? Spandex and makeup to the ready.
Human League
Human League
Lopsided haircuts for the boys and shocking eye makeup for the girls.
Michael Jackson
Shamone! How to achieve this look without cutting of your nose.
If there's a look, Madonna's had it. We recommend the Blond Ambition style.
MC Hammer
This man certainly had a distinctive look. Whether you want to copy it is up to you!
Pepsi & Shirley
Puffball skirts, pettycoats and knee-high socks.
Shakin Stevens
Comb up that quiff, put on the crepe-souled shoes and don a pink jacket.
Whether you wanna be Dave Hill or Noddy Holder, you'll look crazee like this.
Spandau Ballet
To cut a long story short, this smoothie style has got to be gold.
Mel C & Geri
Spice Girls
Sporty, Ginger, Baby, Scary and Posh. We got the tips for the ladies.
Even if you don't want to adopt the Wham! look, the pictures are worth a laugh.

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