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21 April 2014
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Fancy Dress

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Human League

Considering it was 20 years ago, Phil 'okey cokie' Oakey's haircut remains revolutionary. Rumours differ as to Phil's inspiration for the cut. It was either based on a horse's tail, or inspired by a character from the 1930's Todd Browning flick, Freaks. Either way, the half-man half-woman cut certainly got Phil noticed.

If you're brave enough to risk this dodgy Brazilian transvestite look this Christmas then good luck to you. To save tonsorial carnage we suggest buying a wig and lopping off half of it thereby guaranteeing the 'Twilight Mental Home Escapee' look. People on the bus will laugh but they'll also be very scared to approach you, guaranteeing a fairly easy passage to the party. Phil looks reasonably sober in this pic but a pleated, chiffon ladies top, leather trousers, stilettoes and heaps of rouge and cherry red lipstick would really complement the hair if you're feeling frisky. Just ask a glamorous auntie. Alternatively, if you are friendly with certain er, 'working girls' in the seedier areas of town, they should also be able to help. (Probably a bit pricey though.)

No such risks if you want to dress like backing singers Susanne or Jo of course. Their look was always club based and with the '80s retro fad currently in fashion you should be showing plenty of chic at the party. "We always dressed as if we were going out to a club," Susanne told TOTP. The girls here opted for a punky, alternative college girl look complete with moody pouts. Glamorous but girl next door at the same time. Add plenty of eyeliner in an Egyptian fashion, a wedge haircut (preferably with a heavy fringe over one eye) and you've got an affordable car boot sale wardrobe that shouldn't trouble your Christmas budget.

 

If you've gone for the 'Oakey' look keep your head down and just keep on walking in those stilettoes if you hear any cries of "alright darlin'. You workin'? How much?" If you do feel the need to reply just shout: "I’m only human. Of flesh and blood I’m made."
I think you’ve got the wrong address dear. It’s women like you who’ve brought down the price of property in the area. Oh, sorry dear. Didn’t recognise you. A quiet night in again or are you off out?

 


U Got The Look
Abba
Abba
Pusscycat dresses for the girls. Platforms for the boys.
Adam Ant
Adam Ant
Stand & deliver! Be a real prince charming with this look.
David Bowie
David Bowie
Fancy going all Ziggy Stardust? Spandex and makeup to the ready.
Human League
Human League
Lopsided haircuts for the boys and shocking eye makeup for the girls.
Jacko
Michael Jackson
Shamone! How to achieve this look without cutting of your nose.
Madonna
Madonna
If there's a look, Madonna's had it. We recommend the Blond Ambition style.
Hammer
MC Hammer
This man certainly had a distinctive look. Whether you want to copy it is up to you!
Shirley
Pepsi & Shirley
Puffball skirts, pettycoats and knee-high socks.
Shakey
Shakin Stevens
Comb up that quiff, put on the crepe-souled shoes and don a pink jacket.
Dave
Slade
Whether you wanna be Dave Hill or Noddy Holder, you'll look crazee like this.
Tony
Spandau Ballet
To cut a long story short, this smoothie style has got to be gold.
Mel C & Geri
Spice Girls
Sporty, Ginger, Baby, Scary and Posh. We got the tips for the ladies.
Wham!
Wham!
Even if you don't want to adopt the Wham! look, the pictures are worth a laugh.


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