They Are The Resurrection |
This lot didn't just cheat career death, they laughed in its face...
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 Mariah Carey
 It might seem strange to think about it now, but there was a time when Mariah Carey's career seemed dead in the water. She'd signed a new four-album deal with Virgin Records, only for them to release her from it at a cost of quite-a-lot-thanks-for-asking after the first album sold poorly, and her movie Glitter had reached official punchline-in-its-own-right status. Not only that, but 'Riah was suffering from what was politely called "nervous exhaustion" and being increasingly bizarre in interviews. No, even more than THAT. Seriously. People doubted she'd be able to recover from this to her days of high sales and worldwide lovefests. Hey, did someone say "worldwide lovefest"? What better event to relaunch new, improved Mariah 2.0 than an appearance at Live 8, where not only can she show off her still-impressive tonsils but she can also hug a bunch of photogenic children and show that she cares about ending poverty? Couple that with a far more commercially-appealing new album with an R&B slant, and Miss Carey was well and truly back. It's like that, y'all.
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 Madonna
 Okay, this one should be an easy one. After all, Madonna's famous for turning what most people would call "a haircut" into "a reinvention". Sometimes, though, she's had to do a bit of cunning image-management to sort out negative publicity and get her career back on track. Take, for example, her role as Eva Peron in the movie musical Evita. Not only was this a chance to impress with her acting after a string of disastrous roles, but it was also a chance to win back the fans that had been turned off by her decidedly saucy albums 'Erotica' and 'Bedtime Stories'. Career back on track? Yessirree bob. Then after 2001's 'American Life' album, which was the lowest worldwide-selling album of her career (not helped by some people seeing the album as unpatriotic, mind) and people lining up to be the first to say: "Oooh, she's proper lost it, she has", her Madgesty returned in 2005 with the shiny, entirely non-controversial, non-political dance album 'Confessions On A Dance Floor' which focused more on disco and less on criticising the American government. The record-buying public all went "wheee!" and forgot they'd ever been cross with her in the first place. Phew! She's got nine lives, this one! Well, more like seven now...
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 Guitars
 Cast your mind back to the beginning of 2002. Try not to focus on how terrible your hair probably was. Try to remember what you thought of guitars at this point. It was probably something along the lines of "only used in indie bands and SERIOUS artists, because guitars are for REAL musicians with proper FEELINGS and wouldn't make any sense in a pop song." Then along came three chaps by the collective name of Busted, who - gasp! - were a pop group who played their own instruments and wrote their own songs. Suddenly the guitar was totally up for grabs in pop music again, and the world rejoiced. Some were so happy that they even wept quietly in the corner. The likes of Girls Aloud and Rachel Stevens grabbed the guitar baton and ran with it to Electropop land to use for their own nefarious-but-brilliant purposes, while the more traditional guitarpop mantle was passed down to McFly, and to their children, and probably eventually to their children's children's children (who are HOT, by the way). Not only that, but even the guitar was thankful that its good name wouldn't be eternally darkened by association with James Blunt and Katie Melua, so everyone was happy. And just think, without Busted we would never have had The Noise Next Door or Love Bites...what? Come back!
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 Leo Sayer
 There's an old saying around here - old popstars never die, they just get sampled. The best thing about that - from the old popstar's point of view, at least - is that it requires virtually no effort on the original popstar's part. You just need someone to lift a catchy riff from one of your old hits - or even better, one of your slightly more obscure tracks - and hey presto! Instant cool factor with the youth of today, and suddenly you're wanted to play loads of student gigs and appear on cool TV shows. Not only that, but your albums start selling again and the money starts rolling in - all because someone included your old vocals (with a bit of cleaning up) on a top dance track. You're at No.1 in the singles charts for the first time since 1977 - not bad for a song that only reached No.22 in its original incarnation, eh? And he didn't even need any help from Peter Kay and a comedy video, (are you listening, TONY CHRISTIE?)
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 Lisa Scott-Lee
 This is one of the most impressive pop resurrections in recent history. After all, nobody really expected any great solo careers from the Stepsters, especially not after H & Claire's duetting efforts ended up dumper-bound. But in much the same way that Robbie was the surprise success story post-Take That, Lisa's trip on the solo train was a stellar success. Her No.1 hits 'Lately' and 'Too Far Gone' were critically acclaimed for their fresh new approach to dance-pop, and the sheer spectacle of her arena shows was only matched by the power and range of her live vocals. After winning three Ivor Novello awards for songwriting and the coveted Brit awards for Best British Female and Best Album, Lisa took some time out to get married at a star-studded ceremony where Madonna and Kylie were her bridesmaids. Lisa's return to pop after her honeymoon was chronicled by the Bafta-winning documentary 'Totally Scott-Lee' which was viewed in over 13 million households worldwide, and saw her triumphant return to the No.1 spot with the platinum-selling single 'Electric'. Currently planning a world tour and looking over several movie scripts, this was definitely the ultimate pop resurrection. [Er...can I see you in my office, please? - Ed.]
Steve P
13/04/2006
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It's Party Time!  |
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We're having a party to celebrate the end of TOTP Online and the start of the Chart Blog...look who's here! |
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Big Bother |
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The normal show's over for another year, but there's still time to get our requests in for the next Celeb Big Brother... |
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When Song Titles Go Silly |
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Abandon sense, all ye who enter here to see the strangest song titles in pop history... |
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Dream TOTP Presenters |
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If only we'd had these people on our side, history would have been VERY different *sniff*... |
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Web-Singers |
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Five acts whose very career can be blamed on modern technology. |
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Doing It For The Kids |
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What if pop stars were left in charge of kids' TV for a day? Won't somebody think of the children? |
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Who Sean Did Next... |
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We all know Sean Paul likes to collaborate, but this is getting ridulous... |
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Take Cover! |
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Some popstars aren't so much people as forces of nature. Watch out for this lot... |
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The 5 Stages Of ROCK |
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OR: Why the humble whistle is the ultimate factor in deciding what ROCKS and what does NOT ROCK. |
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They Are The Resurrection |
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This lot didn't just cheat career death, they laughed in its face... |
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Britain's Next Pop Model |
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Mariah's planning to take the fashion world by storm, but she'll have to watch out for this lot... |
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Drama Queens |
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Forget reality TV - how would popstars fare in a TV drama? |
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Pop Conspiracies |
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Weird stuff happens in pop from time to time, it's enough to make some of us paranoid... |
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I'll Show YOU! |
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Popstars who should have left their egos behind, not their careers... |
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Crapper Rappers |
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Next time this lot pic up the mic, it had better be just to sing... |
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Reality Pop Stars |
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They've braved the glare of wall-to-wall cameras and survived. Well, mostly... |
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Indie-lympics |
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They're skinny, they're whiny, and they're doing it for Blighty! |
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Daft Predictions: 2006 |
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What will 2006 bring for this bunch of celebs? Are you sure you wanna know? |
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Secret Santa |
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If we were to give these popstars the perfect Chrimbo gift, we reckon these Xmas crackers would do the trick... |
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Xmas Turkeys |
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The kind of festive chart-toppers that would make Cliff Richard turn Scrooge. |
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Toy Story |
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Abandon your pressies! We bring you the pop toys you really wanted this Christmas, you lucky things! |
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Rock School |
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Girls Aloud are taking Biology, but who's got Double Maths, and who's hanging out behind the bike sheds? |
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Name Academy |
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Five acts whose names could've done with a re-think BEFORE the CDs got pressed up. |
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Food Fighters |
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As Snoop launches his own brand of Hot Dogg, we wonder who else will put their money where their mouth is. |
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Arty Popstars |
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They call themselves 'artists', but which pop stars would know one end of a gallery from the other? |
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Oi You! Outside Now! |
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If these chart rivals ever had to face-off in the pop ring, who would win? |
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Grow A Spine! |
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Some stars are wetter than others. Meet a few who you could wring out like a sponge... |
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Eaten By The Pop Beast |
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What's with all these bands losing members lately? Is it the work of some member-munching pop monster? |
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These Words...Are Bonkers |
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Never let a pop star sit down with a pen, they don't know what they're doing... |
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Too Long Titles |
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When it comes to picking short sharp song titles, this lot thought more was more... |
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Oi! Cheer up! |
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It's a case of one grump or two for these pop moodychops! |
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Charlie And The Mock-late Factory |
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The pop stars who narrowly failed to get a part in Willy Wonka (and not in a bad way...). |
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Parent Repellants |
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Playing your music loud is one thing, but bring home one of these bad boys and you'll be grounded into space dust. |
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Non-Stop Popsters |
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Rolling Stones are 40 years and still going. So, which of these pop gippers will be around in 2045? |
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Diet Hards |
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A cautionary tale for would-be dieters out there, in five easy to swallow pieces... |
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Bond Rocking Beats |
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Kanye and Robbie have sampled 007, but who else could remix a Bond theme? |
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Endorse-Mentalists |
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Is there ANYTHING that popstars won't sell on the side? Apparently not! |
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Y Kant U Spel Proply? |
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We asked a linguistics expert to mark pop songs for spelling mistakes. Just for fun! |
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Five acts we wanna see at Live 8 |
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No doubt about it, there's little to top that Live 8 lineup. Except... |
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Crooner Eclipse |
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We don't mind rappers acting the big 'I am', just as long as they don't sing... |
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Tell It To The Judge |
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They fought the law, and the law won (except when it lost). |
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Welcome Back! |
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The pop acts who YOU'D like to see strutting their stuff one more time... |
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Britney's Auction Items |
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Forget collecting the albums, these days fans want something a bit more personal from their fave stars... |
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The People That Elton Wronged |
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You don't have to be an incompetent journalist to earn a tongue-lashing from Lord Pop Almighty... |
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Lord Of The Blings |
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This lot weren't in the Lord Of The Rings films, but they should've been. Here's why... |
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You Still Here? |
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The bands who went past their sell-by date, and then reversed... |
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Ice Queens |
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These frosty popstrels could give scary lessons to the Blair Witch... |
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Have-A-Go Heroes |
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Trouble called, they answered. These pop stars are all Super Men (and woman). |
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Cover Calamities |
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If you love the song so much, why do you treat it so badly, popsters? |
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Skinny Indie Kids |
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Your mum thinks this lot could do with a good square meal, and she's not wrong... |
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