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It's Party Time!  |
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We're having a party to celebrate the end of TOTP Online and the start of the Chart Blog...look who's here! |
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Big Bother |
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The normal show's over for another year, but there's still time to get our requests in for the next Celeb Big Brother... |
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When Song Titles Go Silly |
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Abandon sense, all ye who enter here to see the strangest song titles in pop history... |
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Dream TOTP Presenters |
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If only we'd had these people on our side, history would have been VERY different *sniff*... |
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Web-Singers |
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Five acts whose very career can be blamed on modern technology. |
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Doing It For The Kids |
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What if pop stars were left in charge of kids' TV for a day? Won't somebody think of the children? |
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Who Sean Did Next... |
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We all know Sean Paul likes to collaborate, but this is getting ridulous... |
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Take Cover! |
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Some popstars aren't so much people as forces of nature. Watch out for this lot... |
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The 5 Stages Of ROCK |
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OR: Why the humble whistle is the ultimate factor in deciding what ROCKS and what does NOT ROCK. |
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They Are The Resurrection |
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This lot didn't just cheat career death, they laughed in its face... |
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Britain's Next Pop Model |
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Mariah's planning to take the fashion world by storm, but she'll have to watch out for this lot... |
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Drama Queens |
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Forget reality TV - how would popstars fare in a TV drama? |
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Pop Conspiracies |
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Weird stuff happens in pop from time to time, it's enough to make some of us paranoid... |
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I'll Show YOU! |
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Popstars who should have left their egos behind, not their careers... |
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Crapper Rappers |
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Next time this lot pic up the mic, it had better be just to sing... |
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Reality Pop Stars |
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They've braved the glare of wall-to-wall cameras and survived. Well, mostly... |
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Indie-lympics |
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They're skinny, they're whiny, and they're doing it for Blighty! |
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Daft Predictions: 2006 |
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What will 2006 bring for this bunch of celebs? Are you sure you wanna know? |
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Secret Santa |
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If we were to give these popstars the perfect Chrimbo gift, we reckon these Xmas crackers would do the trick... |
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Xmas Turkeys |
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The kind of festive chart-toppers that would make Cliff Richard turn Scrooge. |
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Toy Story |
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Abandon your pressies! We bring you the pop toys you really wanted this Christmas, you lucky things! |
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Rock School |
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Girls Aloud are taking Biology, but who's got Double Maths, and who's hanging out behind the bike sheds? |
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Name Academy |
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Five acts whose names could've done with a re-think BEFORE the CDs got pressed up. |
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Food Fighters |
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As Snoop launches his own brand of Hot Dogg, we wonder who else will put their money where their mouth is. |
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Arty Popstars |
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They call themselves 'artists', but which pop stars would know one end of a gallery from the other? |
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Oi You! Outside Now! |
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If these chart rivals ever had to face-off in the pop ring, who would win? |
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Grow A Spine! |
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Some stars are wetter than others. Meet a few who you could wring out like a sponge... |
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Eaten By The Pop Beast |
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What's with all these bands losing members lately? Is it the work of some member-munching pop monster? |
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These Words...Are Bonkers |
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Never let a pop star sit down with a pen, they don't know what they're doing... |
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Too Long Titles |
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When it comes to picking short sharp song titles, this lot thought more was more... |
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Oi! Cheer up! |
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It's a case of one grump or two for these pop moodychops! |
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Charlie And The Mock-late Factory |
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The pop stars who narrowly failed to get a part in Willy Wonka (and not in a bad way...). |
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Parent Repellants |
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Playing your music loud is one thing, but bring home one of these bad boys and you'll be grounded into space dust. |
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Non-Stop Popsters |
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Rolling Stones are 40 years and still going. So, which of these pop gippers will be around in 2045? |
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Diet Hards |
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A cautionary tale for would-be dieters out there, in five easy to swallow pieces... |
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Bond Rocking Beats |
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Kanye and Robbie have sampled 007, but who else could remix a Bond theme? |
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Endorse-Mentalists |
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Is there ANYTHING that popstars won't sell on the side? Apparently not! |
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Y Kant U Spel Proply? |
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We asked a linguistics expert to mark pop songs for spelling mistakes. Just for fun! |
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Five acts we wanna see at Live 8 |
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No doubt about it, there's little to top that Live 8 lineup. Except... |
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Crooner Eclipse |
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We don't mind rappers acting the big 'I am', just as long as they don't sing... |
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Tell It To The Judge |
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They fought the law, and the law won (except when it lost). |
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Welcome Back! |
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The pop acts who YOU'D like to see strutting their stuff one more time... |
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Britney's Auction Items |
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Forget collecting the albums, these days fans want something a bit more personal from their fave stars... |
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The People That Elton Wronged |
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You don't have to be an incompetent journalist to earn a tongue-lashing from Lord Pop Almighty... |
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Lord Of The Blings |
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This lot weren't in the Lord Of The Rings films, but they should've been. Here's why... |
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You Still Here? |
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The bands who went past their sell-by date, and then reversed... |
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Ice Queens |
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These frosty popstrels could give scary lessons to the Blair Witch... |
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Have-A-Go Heroes |
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Trouble called, they answered. These pop stars are all Super Men (and woman). |
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Cover Calamities |
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If you love the song so much, why do you treat it so badly, popsters? |
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Skinny Indie Kids |
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Your mum thinks this lot could do with a good square meal, and she's not wrong... |
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Franz Ferdinand
While you're all mucking about with finger-painting and clay modelling in the so-called 'art' lessons you get at school, Franz Ferdinand have taken it upon themselves to educate us in the realms of Russian Constructivism (red triangles and straight lines to you and me) and namedropping famous artists. Understandable behaviour, really, as they all attended the Glasgow School of Art. The band met drummer Paul Thompson while he worked as a 'life model' (a nude bloke that art students draw while trying not to giggle), and Alex Kapranos demonstrated his penchant for art students with, "I love your friends, they're all so arty." But most art students are about 19. How old are you again, Mr K?
Pete Doherty
We all know Mr Doherty gets up to some questionable stuff, but painting with your own blood?! Doherty demonstrated his deepest inner-turmoil on us (at a time when we thought he only did supermodels, drugs and Dior) by painting the gory image of a man in a hat, and adding a quote proposing the sale of one's soul to the devil. Do you think he was trying to make some kind of point? On a less gruesome note, he also does all of Babyshambles' artwork, and has been known to use other fluids to create his art. By which we mean ink, you filthy bunch....
Marilyn Manson
Manson's art is exactly what we'd expect from him - gooey heads, icky bodies, death 'enjoying the fruits of his labour' and, er, a flower. A watercolour flower! Certainly not the type of art you'd want on your wall, unless your name is Beelzebub and you live in hell. There's probably some deep, important meaning behind it, apart from the flower one, which is just pretty. Even so, it's unlikely he'll be popping in to your granny's watercolour club any time soon.
Madonna
Lady Madge has tried her hand at pretty much everything - acting, writing rude photo books, being English, oh yeah, and writing music. So it comes as no surprise that she's also ventured into the world of artistry, writing and illustrating kiddies book The English Roses. In 2001, she also made a prize boob of herself by swearing on live telly while presenting the Turner Art Prize. However, she claimed the outburst was provoked when the producers pleaded with her "not to use profanities." So does that mean that if we say, "Madonna, PLEASE release some terrible records and DON'T be rubbish", reverse psychology will do everyone a favour?
Ricky Wilson - Kaiser Chiefs
Before he made his living jumping up and down in a blazer and screaming, Ricky used to teach art in Leeds College of Art and Design...while jumping up and down in a blazer and screaming, presumably. In fact, it's tempting to wonder if early drafts of his band's breakthrough hit might have been influenced by his previous job. Especially if any of his pupils were of an ironic frame of mind, but secretive about showing off their work. 'I Predict A Wry Art', anyone?
