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6 July 2009
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Did Lil' Chris learn everything he needed to know about rock from Gene Simmons? We put him to the test.

TOTP: You're in the penthouse suite of a posh hotel, completely unsupervised. What happens next?
Lil' Chris: I completely trash it, smashing up the TVs, jumping on the beds, breaking the beds, maybe chucking a few duvets out of the windows...
TOTP: Does the telly go out of the window as well?
Lil' Chris: The telly goes out of the window, of course! Everything goes out of the window! Absolutely everything, actually. That'd be good.
TOTP: Even the bed?
Lil' Chris: Even the bed, if it can fit through the window. If it can't fit through the window, we'll smash the window.

TOTP: In another hotel, James Blunt is in the room next to you, playing his music far too loudly. How do you get him to turn it down?
Lil' Chris: Erm, put the bread... [realising what he's just said, amused] - put the bread?
TOTP: Yeah, just put the bread...
Lil' Chris: Yeah, just put the bread! [Giggles.] No, probably I would jump from my balcony to his balcony, grab his guitar and chuck it out of the window. Then maybe get him, and chuck HIM out of the window.
James Blunt - he now knows to keep his music down

TOTP: Excellent, we're liking the 'throwing things out of windows' theme so far. Now, a showbiz question: you turn up to do a radio interview, having requested 12 puppies to stroke while you're talking to them, and discover to your horror that one of the puppies is the wrong colour. What do you do?
Lil' Chris: [laughing] I was going to say "throw the puppy out of the window", but I think that's a bit mean! No, I wouldn't throw the puppy out of the window, I would just...I dunno, take the puppy out. Put it to one side.

TOTP: You're on stage doing a gig, and the crowd's going wild. They cry for you to smash your guitar, rock-n-roll style, but the thing is, you REALLY like your guitar. Do you go through with it?
Lil' Chris: I would run off - run to one side, pretend to fall over, throw the guitar to one side then pick up another one and smash that up.

TOTP: You're doing an instore signing and you accidentally trip over a pile of CDs, at which point the crowd goes "Yeah, brilliant! He's rioting, let's trash the place!" Do you join in, or...
Lil' Chris: [before we've even finished the question, as though this is the easiest thing he's ever been asked] Yeah! Join in, smash the place up, cause a lot of damage, millions of pounds' worth of damage.
TOTP: [to Lil' Chris's record label representatives] Bet you're very happy to hear about that, aren't you?
Lil' Chris's record label representatives: [nervous laughter]
I predict a riot! I PRE-DICT A RI-OT!

TOTP: You're sitting down to a swanky post-gig meal, and you discover...
Lil' Chris: [interrupting again] Food fight!
TOTP: ...that they've given you inadequate cutlery. Food fight?
Lil' Chris: Yep.
Lil' Chris's record label representative: That's your answer to everything.

TOTP: Charlotte Church publicly calls you a big girl's blouse. How do you respond?
Lil' Chris: [hilariously bad Welsh accent] No I'm not! No I'm not a girl's blouse!
Lil' Chris's record label representative: That was the worst Welsh accent I've ever, ever heard.
Lil' Chris: [still in bad Welsh accent] Goo oover thurr! Goo offer thurr! Not hyurr, thurr! [In normal voice.] That's what I would say to her!
TOTP: Would you have a bit of a scrap next time you see her?
Lil' Chris: No, I'd just be really nice to her.
Charlotte Church. She needs to goo offer thurr, apparently.

TOTP: Some kids from school that you hated turn up at your gig. You can either arrange for them to be secretly crushed in the mosh, or give them proper VIP treatment. What do you do?
Lil' Chris: Crushed in the mosh. I was actually thinking, "hang on, I could be the bigger person", but that'd just be boring.

TOTP: You're performing at a festival and it's fairly hardcore. The bands who are on before you are all doing really elaborate stuff on stage: smashing instruments, slaughtering animals, hail Satan, that kind of thing. How do you top that when it's your turn?
Lil' Chris: I would...I don't know. That's a hard one! There's not a lot you can do to top "hail Satan", actually.
TOTP: You could always go the other way, and come out and be like, "Yay Jesus! or something.
Lil' Chris: Yeah! Yeah. [Sounding a little unsure.] You COULD do that...
TOTP: Meanwhile the crowd's going...
Lil' Chris: "...right."
A festival. Probably not yesterday.

TOTP: You've just completed a gruelling tour and you're completely exhausted, but your band wants to go and party. Crash out or join them?
Lil' Chris: I'd join them, definitely. You can't miss a good party. But they'd have to carry me and buy all the drinks. [Pause, then hurriedly.] But I wouldn't be drinking!
TOTP: Obviously not.
Lil' Chris: Obviously not. I never drink! What is it? What is drink, anyway? I don't even know what it is.

Verdict: He trashes shops and hotels, he loves a food fight, he likes a party and he refuses to hit animals or girls. End of term report: A+.

Check out Lil' Chris's big website

(The BBC is not responsible for the content of external websites)

Interview by: Steve P
25/09/2006



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	Akon
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	Alesha
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	Tom McFly
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	McFly's Hair Drama
	Tom: "Straightening his hair for all those years has actually made his hair fall out. And as a result, he now has curly pube hair."

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	Karen Louise
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	Jet
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	James Morrison
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	Shayne Ward
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	Razorlight
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	The Fratellis
	Barry: "We've got a song called 'Chelsea Daggers' so they throw wee daggers at us. It's quite nice."

	Webb Sisters
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	Pussycat Dolls
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	Ne-Yo
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	Guillemots
	Fyfe: "We're going to start getting naked onstage fairly soon, but with protection."

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