TOTP: How much of what you read in the papers do you believe?
Max: F*** all.
Luke: Absolutely nothing. I mean, obviously there's truth in things, but the way they're put, you can't ever trust newspapers. Ever.
Paul: The Sports sections are pretty spot-on. [All laugh.]
Max: The thing is, lots of newspapers are controlled by different people in different ways, to give certain opinions, and when it comes down to it you never know whether those opinions are true or not anyway. It's like a complete and utter gamble as to whether or not what you're reading is from a genuine source. Even at a basic level, let alone take it further than that, where you're sort of stabbing in the dark.
Luke: It sounds cynical, but I think it's true.
Hugh: Factually, it's quite useful to read newspapers and stuff...
Max: Yeah, but not if the facts aren't right, though. [Luke and Paul laugh.]
Hugh: It's useful to read them, but you don't have to believe everything.

TOTP: What's the most transparent lie you've ever fallen for?
Luke: [sheepishly] That we might ever get some money off our record label! I dunno...
Max: That we were good at playing?
Luke: [laughs] Yeah, that we were good. Or that last night we were really good! That's the most transparent lie I fell for last night! We played a s*** gig and this girl came up to me and went: "That's the best show I've ever seen!" and I went: "Oh, wicked!", and then I went "Hang on a minute, she HAS been drinking...it is one in the morning..."
Paul: "She has no ears..."
Max: "She's blind!" [All laugh. When the laughter dies down...]
Hugh: "She was a pleb."
Luke: Oh, mate!
Paul: [puts on posh voice] "She was a plebeian!"
Luke: A plebite. [Laughs.]

TOTP: So how old were you when you found out that Santa Claus didn't exist?
Paul: Seven.
Luke: I was going to try to be funny there and be all, "I still think he does!"
Max: That's what I was going to do!
Paul: I thought that would be too obvious as a joke. See, my sense of humour's actually more subtle?
Hugh: I was about five. I felt really guilty afterwards because I'd hassled my mum for ages, like "Mum, is he real, is he real?" And when she eventually told me, I thought, "Oh."
Max: Santa's got kind of a flowacious vibe going on.
Hugh: That's a good word, "flowacious", Max. Did you think of it yourself?
Max: No, it's yours. Thanks for creating it. Let me quote Hugh...no! [All laugh.]

TOTP: Have you ever taken advantage of someone because you knew they were gullible?
Paul: Well, I'm usually on the receiving end of that, so... [All laugh.]
Luke: Don't lie, Paul.
Max: When we got signed. [Laughs.]
Luke: Yeah, the next record deal we get, we're gonna go straight to Ecuador.

TOTP: What's the best lie you've heard about yourselves that someone else might believe?
Paul: Oh, actually, the funniest thing I heard was when this girl came up to me and went: "I heard that you didn't write any of your songs, and you don't play your own instruments..." and she was deadly serious about it!
Max: This is when Paul got arrested for assault!
Luke: I heard a rumour like that about the Arctic Monkeys as well. It's just a vicious rumour.
TOTP: It's one of the easiest rumours to spread.
Max: It's funny, you do well...
Luke: ...and then people tear you down. I heard a rumour that we don't write our own songs.
Max: It's rubbish, though, isn't it?
TOTP: You could look upon it as that's a sign that you've arrived, because everyone gets that rumour, so you can be all "Yes! They care enough to make up rumours!"
Max: [imitating TOTP's victorious arm-in-air gesture] That's the move I usually pull.
Luke: I got really annoyed the other day. We were in Holland and the woman was like "Oh, I've just been checking the internet and I saw a review with criticism where..." and I was like, "Oh, what did they say about us?" because it would be quite funny to know about our criticism and it was like, "they're riding the indie wave" or something like that, and I was like "WHAT? Who the f*** said that? I want numbers, I want addresses..." [Laughs.] It's a double-edged sword, because for every good thing that gets written about us, there's about ten bad things.

TOTP: Are you naturally trusting or naturally suspicious?
All: Naturally trusting.
Luke: Definitely trusting, you've gotta be trusting.
Max: Overly trusting, I would say.
Luke: You should always try to trust because if you don't, it's bad for you, isn't it? I think of that a lot with the people you meet, you should trust more.
Max: If you trust more, you get screwed over less, but if you're more suspicious you end up getting screwed over more anyway so you might as well just let it go and forget about it. [Pause.] Wise words!
Luke: As long as you're giving out, you'll get it back, I think. It's always worth being kind and trusting, definitely.