TOTP: So how much would you sell your wedding photos to OK! for?
P Xain: I'm not married! I can't help you there, sorry.
Maggot: As much as I could get for them I think.
Billy Webb: The thing is, if I was the missus, I'd be traumatised. Selling photos of the wedding? special day? I'd keep the photos and put 'em on my wall.

TOTP: Would you ever sack your stylist after appearing in a worst dressed section?
Billy Webb: I want a sky dish. You get all the channels.
TOTP: Huh? Ah OK. And you'd let the dish tell you what to wear?
Eggsy: There is Penny and Susanna or whatever they're called.
P Xain: The thing is, do they still do Saved By The Bell? You see now, I would get a sky dish if they still showed that. I've only got four channels, well three if you don't count S4C.
Maggot: Well I get six cos I get S4C and Channel four and channel five.
Mystikal: Just get a decent arial.
Billy Webb: I get West, not happy about that.
TOTP: So basically, there's a wealth of style info on the telly is that what you're saying?
Eggsy: Yeah, you just press red and it's all there.
P Xain: Ceefax. You're talking Ceefax now aren't you?

TOTP: Have any of you had or considered having plastic surgery?
Billy Webb: Yes! I had my... y'know... re-grafted on.
TOTP: I don't need to see it! I just need to hear about it.
P Xain: He'll show it you.
Adam: I did get bitten by a dog when I was a kid and [points to shoulder] all that was done, but you can't see it now. Cos that is plastic. It's fine now.
Mystikal: It looks a bit gammy.
Adam: It's not plastic, it's a fake shoulder.
P Xain: It's so annoying, cos you go to America and it's like, 'there's something in my arm', and they think it's a bomb or something.
Mystikal: Did you ever get the pin taken out?
Adam: It's not a pin, it's like a hinge with a bit of fake bone around the middle.

TOTP: Yes. Right. Er, would you consider dating a footballer to raise your profile?
Eggsy: Trina Gulliver. Women's darts champion! She's amazing!
Billy Webb: I'm not into footballers. I mainly prefer women personally.
Eggsy: That's why I picked Trina Gulliver.

TOTP: Sigh... What goes into the GLC diet?
P Xain: We're thinking of opening a restaurant called GLC Gastrol GTX, and you have a deep fat fryer, you fill it full of Castrol GTX and you leave it there for two years cooking one sausage in it and then afterwards you just cook loads of food in it. Amazing!
Mystikal: But you've gotta leave it to simmer...

TOTP: So would you ever pose as arm candy for any famous US actress?
Eggsy: Nina Hossain if she was American...
TOTP: No, a US actress...
P Xain: Gordon Burns! What was the question again?
TOTP: Never mind...