She's gone back to basics in a simpler time - but not without her computer, apparently.
BLOG ENTRY BY: Christina Aguilera* CREATED: 21/07/2006
Of all the whiskey and cigarette joints in all the towns in all the world, he had to walk into - wait, that's been done too often. I'm trying to do something new here. LOL!! Let's try again. Um, can someone change the dictionary settings to "olden days"? Whatever they've got that's close to 1930 anyway, hahaha. Okay, let's try this blog entry again. Er, not blog, obviously. They didn't have blogs then. They had...diaries? Journals? Quills and parchment? Can someone look that up for me? Anyway, take two:
Jeez! Some days a girl can't catch a break in this town. I'd just finished my set at the Jazz Parlour when Charley Blue-Eyes tells me that some guy by the bar wants a word with me. Turns out he's conducting some kind of investigation, reckons I might be involved. I tells him, sugar I ain't involved. I ain't no femme fatale, I'm just a broad trying to earn an honest living in this crazy little dive here, and I don't take too kindly to outsiders interferin' in my business. He asks if he can interview me, saying since I've got nothing to hide I shouldn't be worried. So he gets out his dictaphone - er, I mean his notepad and pencil. That's right, isn't it? - and we take a seat out front, where Lester can make sure this guy don't try no funny business.
So he says to me, where were you on the afternoon of the 15th? I says I was here, working, same as always. He says, but what were you DOING? I say, if you must know I was in my dressing room listening to some stripped-back soulful jazz music on my MP3 player - GRAMOPHONE! I mean gramophone - to get myself ready for my performance. I ask him what this has to do with me anyway. Turns out he's working for some lady, carrying out investigations into her husband who's up to no good. I says, I'm a happily married lady, what would I want with some other broad's husband?
Turns out it's not an affair he's talking about - this other lady used to be a performer, like me. Had quite the following, too, from what I hear. But then she started hanging out with this real bad type and she had a kid, and you know that you can't keep on in showbiz when that happens. Now it turns out her husband is a bad apple and they think one of her rivals on the circuit was trying to sabotage her. Can you believe that? They actually think I hired this guy to get her out my way! I told him, that's not the way I work. I didn't even know who this girl was meant to be. Name's Brittany, or something. Sounds a bit trashy, if you ask me. You wouldn't get her in here, this is a classy joint. We've got real instruments, for crying out loud!
I ask him if we're done. I tell him that hardly a day goes by without some private dick coming in here and sniffing around. We're not circus freaks, you know - we're just ordinary, hardworking folk trying to make a living in this mixed-up world (and here's where I batted my eyes at him, all doleful-like). I know some people might think that our modern music - er, by which I mean authentic jazz music of the 1930s of course, not the other kind of modern music, which I wouldn't even know about. Who's Linda Perry? Exactly - is the work of the devil, that there's something wrong with letting your hair down and enjoying yourself, but come on! It's not like we're all parading around in stockings with our behinds on show. I mean, can you IMAGINE if I were to do a thing like that? I'd never work in this town again.
So he let me be after that; I just had time to freshen up before my next show. I felt kind of bad for that Brittany chick, but we all own our own mistakes, don't we? Still, at least I don't have to worry about that sort of thing here in the good old days - er, I mean, the good CURRENT days, of course.
Anyway, must go now, Jordan wants the computer - PAPER! Paper and pen is what I meant.
Kisses,
X-Tina.
_
*Oh, come on! X-Tina's not responsible for Britney's absence, and she can tell her past from her present. HONESTLY.
Of all the whiskey and cigarette joints in all the towns in all the world, he had to walk into - wait, that's been done too often. I'm trying to do something new here. LOL!! Let's try again. Um, can someone change the dictionary settings to "olden days"? Whatever they've got that's close to 1930 anyway, hahaha. Okay, let's try this blog entry again. Er, not blog, obviously. They didn't have blogs then. They had...diaries? Journals? Quills and parchment? Can someone look that up for me? Anyway, take two:
Jeez! Some days a girl can't catch a break in this town. I'd just finished my set at the Jazz Parlour when Charley Blue-Eyes tells me that some guy by the bar wants a word with me. Turns out he's conducting some kind of investigation, reckons I might be involved. I tells him, sugar I ain't involved. I ain't no femme fatale, I'm just a broad trying to earn an honest living in this crazy little dive here, and I don't take too kindly to outsiders interferin' in my business. He asks if he can interview me, saying since I've got nothing to hide I shouldn't be worried. So he gets out his dictaphone - er, I mean his notepad and pencil. That's right, isn't it? - and we take a seat out front, where Lester can make sure this guy don't try no funny business.
So he says to me, where were you on the afternoon of the 15th? I says I was here, working, same as always. He says, but what were you DOING? I say, if you must know I was in my dressing room listening to some stripped-back soulful jazz music on my MP3 player - GRAMOPHONE! I mean gramophone - to get myself ready for my performance. I ask him what this has to do with me anyway. Turns out he's working for some lady, carrying out investigations into her husband who's up to no good. I says, I'm a happily married lady, what would I want with some other broad's husband?
Turns out it's not an affair he's talking about - this other lady used to be a performer, like me. Had quite the following, too, from what I hear. But then she started hanging out with this real bad type and she had a kid, and you know that you can't keep on in showbiz when that happens. Now it turns out her husband is a bad apple and they think one of her rivals on the circuit was trying to sabotage her. Can you believe that? They actually think I hired this guy to get her out my way! I told him, that's not the way I work. I didn't even know who this girl was meant to be. Name's Brittany, or something. Sounds a bit trashy, if you ask me. You wouldn't get her in here, this is a classy joint. We've got real instruments, for crying out loud!
I ask him if we're done. I tell him that hardly a day goes by without some private dick coming in here and sniffing around. We're not circus freaks, you know - we're just ordinary, hardworking folk trying to make a living in this mixed-up world (and here's where I batted my eyes at him, all doleful-like). I know some people might think that our modern music - er, by which I mean authentic jazz music of the 1930s of course, not the other kind of modern music, which I wouldn't even know about. Who's Linda Perry? Exactly - is the work of the devil, that there's something wrong with letting your hair down and enjoying yourself, but come on! It's not like we're all parading around in stockings with our behinds on show. I mean, can you IMAGINE if I were to do a thing like that? I'd never work in this town again.
