With his thing for Guy Ritchie and a 'shady' upbringing, it was only a matter of time before Lee Ryan went a bit 'gangsta'... innit?
BLOG ENTRY BY: Lee Ryan* CREATED: 22/11/2005
5 minutes to the job.
This is it. I'm five minutes away from the biggest job I've ever pulled. If everyfing goes according to the plan, I'm gonna be neck deep in lovely lolly. And there's no one 'ere to stop me now. I'm first on the scene for this little caper, and that means I'm gonna walk away a very happy little geezer! Nahwohmean?
Oh, 'old up. Aw... what's he doin' 'ere? The last thing I need is a load of shady characters turnin' up and getting amidst the action. OK, Ryan, just keep calm. Don't look scared.
I should be scared though. I've seen this guy before. Look at 'im - tight T-shirt, all them tattoos - he's got a lot a previous, and you can't bleedin' move for 'earin' about his psychological problems. I 'eard that last week, he took someone's lunch out and showed it to 'em, and then threw it all over the shop. Took 'em hours to clean it all up. Place was a right mess. All because someone said that a bloke called Guy did all 'is 'omework, and called 'im a freeloader.
3 minutes to the job.
I don't believe this! 'Ere's another chancer! Who tipped off this lot. I know this guy 'an all! That's Charlie 'Fight Starter' Simpson. Word has it that some bloke had the brass ones to take the mickey out of his record collection last year, and they reckon the fella's only just recovered. Busted him up good and proper he did. I ain't too worried about him though. That jaw has got more glass than a milkfloat in porridge season... He knows better than to try it on... Ah well, at least it's not Mutya...
Nooo! Who the 'ell told Mutya about this job? Now I'm worried! If there's one person 'ere who would mess this right up for me, it's Mutya. She might be all sweetness and light when the spotlight's on, actually that's rubbish, she's terrifying all the time, but I've seen what she can do with an afro comb and a packet of mints... brr! The girl's not human. Still, there's three of them. I can handle these three!
2 minutes to the job.
Dammit! Where'd the gruesome twosome come from? I'm well and truly knackered now. I mean, look at 'im. He's got the look, the tats, the bullet holes and the 'Unit to back 'im up. And as for her, no one's fooled by that baby-face. Looking at her the wrong way usually leads to you eating your dinners with a bib. If I ever get word of who told Kenzie and Bunton, I'm gonna have words.
1 minute to the job.
Ah, the hell with it. I'm 'ere now. And this lot have gotta go through me before they get a taste of this action. I can't let this lot get in the way. All that lolly, all that ice. It's not theirs, it's mine, and I'm gonna take it. I'm gonna take it all...
Showtime!
"Ahem... Sorry, mista. Can I have a '99 with a flake please? And some syrup. And 'undreds and fahsands..."
_
*OK, we admit it. Lee is far too nice to fraternise with so-called edgy types like Kenzie and Emma Bunton.
I should be scared though. I've seen this guy before. Look at 'im - tight T-shirt, all them tattoos - he's got a lot a previous, and you can't bleedin' move for 'earin' about his psychological problems. I 'eard that last week, he took someone's lunch out and showed it to 'em, and then threw it all over the shop. Took 'em hours to clean it all up. Place was a right mess. All because someone said that a bloke called Guy did all 'is 'omework, and called 'im a freeloader.
Nooo! Who the 'ell told Mutya about this job? Now I'm worried! If there's one person 'ere who would mess this right up for me, it's Mutya. She might be all sweetness and light when the spotlight's on, actually that's rubbish, she's terrifying all the time, but I've seen what she can do with an afro comb and a packet of mints... brr! The girl's not human. Still, there's three of them. I can handle these three!
Dammit! Where'd the gruesome twosome come from? I'm well and truly knackered now. I mean, look at 'im. He's got the look, the tats, the bullet holes and the 'Unit to back 'im up. And as for her, no one's fooled by that baby-face. Looking at her the wrong way usually leads to you eating your dinners with a bib. If I ever get word of who told Kenzie and Bunton, I'm gonna have words.
