Day 235 Since THE SPLIT: That's it, it's official. I'm so totally over it. Just because I used to be in the biggest pop act in the country, right, and then it all got taken away from me by 
that...that...lanky posho and his 'credibility' issues. That's no reason to be bitter, is it? It's not like my life is over, is it? It's not like HE WHOSE NAME I CANNOT BRING MYSELF TO TYPE (or HWNICBMTT for short) stuck his carefully-manicured fingers into my chest, tore out my still-beating heart and then ate it like one of those truffles he used to go on about all the time. No, nothing like that, is it?
Day 236 Since THE SPLIT: No, really. I'm fine. I'm really fine. I mean I heard his new band, and, well, let's just say I don't call them Fightstar. No, I call them a much ruder name than that. I call them Fartstar! I was talking to Matt this morning, y'know, just catching up, having a laugh, NOT MENTIONING THE B-WORD ONCE, that kind of thing. And I told him I call that band Fartstar, and he went into total hysterics. He said his chocolate milk came back up his nose and everything. That's proper punk rock, that is. Felt a lot better after that.
Day 237 Since THE SPLIT: Was tidying up, and had to put some of our old B-WORD CDs on the shelf. Sigh. :-(
Day 243 Since THE SPLIT: And anyway, I've got a new band too now. HWNICBMTT might have his stinky old Fartstar (see? I did it again! That's like calling him a stinky fart star! If he even IS a star any more, that is...ha ha HA! IN YOUR FACE CHA...ER...HWNICBMTT!), but I've got an even better band. Better than the B-Word, too, actually. For starters we've got a drummer this time. A real drummer that is, not just HWNICBMTT pretending for the Top of the Pops cameras. And there's five of us, not three. So it's totally different from, er, any OTHER bands I might've been in and gone on to have loads of No.1 hit singles and albums with before being POOPED on from a great height by an over-tall swot-boy from Swankyland.
Day 244 Since THE SPLIT: Had a FANTASTIC rehearsal with my new band, who are so much better than my old band it makes me want to cry. But I made a deal with Dr Wilkinson, and I'm going to stick to it, dammit. Anyway, we played all of my REALLY BRILLIANT new songs, like 'ThunderCats Are Go' and 'What I Come Home From School For'. It was ACE! All of the people in my new band are really, really, much, much better at the guitar than, say HWNICBMTT, and they don't give a stuff about 'credibility' or "playing music I truly believe in" or anything like that. I know actually, because I asked them.
The only problem is they don't want to call the band Trusted. Or Crusted. I don't know why they don't like my BRILLIANT ideas for band names, when they do like my BRILLIANT ideas for songs and music and stuff. Will put my thinking cap on. But not the one that looks like a school cap. I can never wear that school cap again...ever...
Keep it together, Jimmy boy. You can DO this...
Day 246 Since THE SPLIT: Ha ha ha HA! I've just come up with the best name for a band ever! Let HWNICBMTT have his rubbishy old Tartstar (I'm on FIRE today!), we're going to be called Son Of Dork. And I bet you can't guess who the 'dork' we mean is, can you? No! Not Will Young! Char...I mean HWNICBMTT. We did a picture of him with all swastikas on it and threw darts at it for a while, and I was shouting "you're such a DWEEB! You're a GIMP! You're, like, DADDY DORK!" and one of my band (I'm not going to bother finding out what they are called, they'll only LEAVE ME like everyone else does) said that if HWNICBMTT was Daddy Dork, then our band are, like, Son Of Daddy Dork, cos we only got together after HWNICBMTT DESTROYED our precious band FOREVER. Well, that really spoke to me. So I decided then and there that we would call our band that. Only trouble is we couldn't fit all the letters on the drum kit, so rather than be called Son Of Daddy, or Of Daddy Dork, we cut it down to Son Of Dork, which is BRILLIANT!
Day 249 Since THE SPLIT: A bad day. I tripped getting off the bus today and fell down. The driver said I looked 'a proper charlie', and I had to have a little cry. When will this TURMOIL ever END? I've written a song all about it, and it's called 'Weeping With The Light On'. I should ring Dr Wilkinson. Sigh. :-(
Day 236 Since THE SPLIT: Have written a new song. The lyrics go "I've been to the year two-thousand and six/Not much has changed but Fightstar have split up already like the LOSERS they are." It could easily be a MASSIVE No.1.
Just like we used to have in...the old days...
