Saturday 3.17pm
I don't think anyone can be in any doubt that that was the most amazing performance of my short but glorious life. It was like a dream. Like I was asleep and actually dreaming. NO! It was like I was a ghost on the stage, watching it all unfold. It was beautiful. It was poetic... I dunno what that girl on the piano was doing, but somehow I think we got away with it. For a while there I thought it was my beloved Kate, but I don't think she can play the piano.
3.19pm
Ow! Kate just slapped me and then flounced off before the photographers could arrive or anything! I think it was Kate. She had orange hair and some wild glasses on, and her fingers were chubbier than usual, and she had a suit and tie on, and er... ow! I definitely think it was Kate though. It must have been her on the piano onstage. Maybe she was annoyed that I stole all the limelight, either that or she found the Dido scrapbook I brought with me to get signed. Sigh! I love Dido!
4.19pm
Some blonde girl with a microphone just came up and asked me repeatedly about the atmosphere in a panicked way, before running off somewhere else. What's wrong with the atmosphere? The air's OK isn't it? I feel sick now. Can't breathe properly. Oooh, who's this nice blonde girl coming up to talk to me... Just relax, Pete. Just breathe. Erk!
6.23pm
Groan! I've just found out. I missed Dido! She's in Cornwall now and there's nothing I can do about it. Oh life! How can you be so cruel? That's it! I'm refusing to take my hayfever medicine for the rest of the day now.
8.03pm
I just woke up from the most vivid dream. I was at some big camp site in the country and there was a torrential flood, and I floated away on a raft made of music. It was beautiful, apart from some vague shouting from people really far away, telling me to make more of an effort. Must be friends of my parents.
9.17mp
Bah! I was told there'd be lots of famous people at this thing. Where is everyone? I've not seen any famous people yet. And where's Dido? This is turning into a rubbish night out. Apart from the gig I did earlier. Was that today? Maybe it was last week...
A.76mb
Aww! I found Dido. She must have come all the way from Cornwall. She was a little bit distracted when I finally plucked up the courage to ask her for her autograph. And she didn't speak. Or move. And people kept chucking paper plates and empty cups at her. But it was her! Then Kate turned up and dragged me away, calling me a 'nutbag'. Honestly! What does she know of the love that Dido and I share? I'll show her! Where's my guitar!
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Eurgh! Someone just told me I sang a duet with ELTON JOHN!
