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McFLY - 'MOTION IN THE OCEAN'
Rum band, McFly. Just at the point at which the rocksnobs have over-purpled with snorty noises about how they're not really a real rock band because...ach, does ANYONE listen beyond the snorty noise? Anyway, that's when Tom, Dan and co whack out a great big YOUTH ROCK ANTHEM like 'We Are The Young' in which they channel the Who so effectively they even end the chorus with "we're the young, we're alright" (like 'The Kids Are Alright', see?).
But then they'll pull out some bouncy parp-along like 'Star Girl' or 'Lonely', to another hail of snorts, and then a bonkers show-tune ballad like 'Transylvania', like they're My Chemical Romance Junior or something (less snorting), or the saucy Beach Boys superpop of 'Little Joanna'. Course, all of this zig-zagging leaves McFly in danger of pleasing exactly no-one with their many varied musical guises.
But then, that just means they've got a lot more in common with a band like the Feeling than they do with 'proper' rockers like Green Day. And this is a problem because...why, exactly? Oh yeah, that rocksnob thing again...OH WELL, eh?
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AMY WINEHOUSE - 'BACK TO BLACK'
You don't need this review. If you've heard 'Rehab' you should already be off down the record shop to buy this album, or down to the Post Office to send your ears off to the menders. However, if you would like to know what delights await you when you get the CD home again, read on...
Lyrically, we're on to a winner straight away. There's brilliant swearing (forgive me, mums and dads, but the line "what kind of f***ery is this?" in 'Me & Mr Jones' deserves some kind of award for services to filth), there's a lot of man-bashing grumpiness, plus a certain amount of self-critique, just to even the sides up.
Then there's THAT voice, part old jazz siren, part foghorn, which sounds decades older than Amy's tender years would suggest, particularly on the heartbroken 'Love Is A Losing Game'. Which is sort of perfect, given the '60s-meets-'00s Motown production - the beginning of 'Tears Dry On Their Own' in particular is so Stevie Wonder you can almost hear the squeak of Amy's shades.
But you already know all this, right? Cos you're listening to the album right now, right? RIGHT?
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GIRLS ALOUD - 'THE SOUND OF GIRLS ALOUD'
C'mon, you know this is good. But what you might not know is that tucked away in each of the Aloud's three studio albums are hits that never saw the light of the shop shelves ('Some Kind Of Miracle', 'Graffiti My Soul' and 'Swinging London Town' to name just a few). And sadly, none of them are on the bonus disc of new songs, covers, and remix and alternative lyrics stuff they've chucked on there. And that's a bit of a shame.
Still, no time to get grumpy, all the hits are here as well, including ones to throw shapes to ('SOTU', 'The Show' and 'Something Kinda Oooh'), ones to break stuff to ('Wake Me Up', 'No Good Advice'), and ones to do that wormy up and down dance thing ('Biology', 'Love Machine', 'Long Hot Summer'). Oh and there're the covers that we all scratched our heads about ('Jump', 'I'll Stand By You' and, are you ready for this? 'What A Feeling').
Minor niggles aside, this is still as ace as any pop band's greatest hits has a right to be, and if you're still in any doubt, we'll send Cheryl round to, ah, convince you otherwise. OK?
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ROBBIE WILLIAMS - 'RUDEBOX'
Y'know, some of us had just about given up on this fella. Far too much time making smug to the camera, far too many 'outrageous' quotes for the press and far too little putting anything of himself into his tunes, most of which were all starting to melt into each other like Rolos on a hotplate.
The song 'Rudebox' changed all that. It was like someone had flicked the 'reboot' switch on the fella who made 'Rock DJ' and all those startling pop records at the turn of the, erm, 'Millennium'. And suddenly we're getting another load of smart, witty, pretty and re-energised pop tunes where once we just had snoozy old arena therapy-rock.
I'll not spoil things by giving away the plot, but suffice to say Robbie has suddenly become someone worth listening to again. Give the man some room, people, he's ready for take-off!
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THE ORDINARY BOYS - 'HOW TO GET EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED IN 10 EASY STEPS'
You can't say Preston doesn't know who his audience is these days. Once the dust had settled on his Big Brother whirlwind, and him and Chantelle had sent out all their marriage thank-you cards, what could this fella actually settle down and write about? Only one topic springs to mind, namely the fact that he suddenly finds himself a nationally famous musician, but one whose music is almost entirely unknown to his fans.
So, we get the cynical mini-swipes at fame ('The Great Big Rip-Off', 'Nine2Five') mixing with heartfelt celebration at his sudden good fortune ('We've Got The Best Job Ever'), and all set to a much wider range of musical tricks than his very ordinary Ordinary Boys have ever attempted so far. Synthpop, movie themes, nothing seems beyond their musical reach, even if the lyrical themes wear thin over the course of a whole album. The big surprise is that it's by some distance the best thing the band have ever done.
Oh, and they've put 'Boys Will Be Boys' on the end of it too. Which must be, like, a special thank you to Heat! readers for all the support or something...
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P DIDDY - 'PRESS PLAY'
Whuh? Has someone been giving the Diddy man flow pills? He used to be the most wooden MC on the mic since someone asked Spoony to do a gig and got stuck with a real spoon-y instead. And yet here he is rocking a mic like a good 'un. Rhythmic, clever, sharp-tongued raps which don't depend on guest appearances to make a song fly.
Not that there's a shortage of those, mind. Nicole PCD, Christina Aguilera, Big Boi, Ciara, Timbaland, Nas, Cee-Lo, Brandy, Mary J Blige, and Jamie Foxx are among the all-star cast who pop by to help the Didster bring his latest selection home. But where past collaborations have seemed bolted together and a bit clunky, there's some top notch hip hop on this CD.
Now if we can just get him to say something interesting beyond how brilliant, sexy and rich he is, everything would be just marvy...
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JAMELIA - 'WALK WITH ME'
If we learnt one thing from Jamelia's last album, it's that second chances are a good thing. After lead single 'Bout' flopped, many lesser acts would have found themselves dropped - but not our Jam, who propelled the other four singles into the Top 10 instead. Attagirl. And if there's one lesson that we can learn from her third album, it's that people who get extra chances do so because pop NEEDS them.
It's a while since we've heard an album as complete as this, where the tracks all complement each other and the whole product's had enough attention paid so that you're not left feeling that there's been any filler. There aren't even any drippy ballads - there are a couple of slowies ('La La Love', for example), but they tend to be quietly confident, passionate lovesongs. 'Go' is a fantastic showcase for Jamelia's voice, giving her little more accompaniment than a piano, and 'Do Me Right' is a fantastic mishmash of Indian strings, nightclub beats and a dangerously hot sensuality.
Jam's been raiding the samples cupboard too, and she's snagged some good'uns - the refrain from the Stranglers' 'Golden Brown' threatens to overwhelm 'No More', but the swooping choral notes that kick in midway through save the track. Winning the Most Ingenious Use Of Sample award, however, is 'Beware Of The Dog', sampling 'Personal Jesus' and being ENTIRELY MADE OF AWESOME. If this isn't a future single, we'll eat our pop trilby.
It's such an assured, confident album that it's really hard for us to find fault with it, so we won't bother. We shall simply say: nice job, lady.
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SCISSOR SISTERS - 'TA-DAH'
Innovation fans are going to have a hard time with this album, but then innovation fans probably aren't the biggest target audience for a flamboyant re-working of Elton John's entire career in the first place, right?
So, for the rest of you, the good news is the band knew their formula wasn't broken, and so they haven't fixed it. 'Ta-Dah' contains some spirited disco moments, some rudeness, a little heartbreak and a LOT of helium in the vocal booth.
And if that sounds like damning with faint praise, well that's cos the REAL Elton John also has an album out this week, so let's not get TOO excited, eh?
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FERGIE - 'THE DUTCHESS'
Hmmm. It looks like a Fergie solo project, definitely, but having Will.I.Am on executive producer duty means that this doesn't sound a million miles away from being another Black Eyed Peas album, to be honest. Of course, let's not pretend that's a bad thing.
Opener 'Fergalicious' is a dancier sequel to 'My Humps', and the looped plinky big-band two-stepness of 'Clumsy' makes for a great start to the album. There's definitely a sense of humour on display here, like when Ferg chooses to follow single 'London Bridge' with 'Pedestal', which includes the sing-song "your pedestal is falling down" to the tune of you-know-what. The production is slick and Fergie shows off her cavernous lungs to prove that absolutely nothing on this album is done by halves.
Complementing the funkier numbers are slowies such as the Motown-tinged 'All That I Got (The Make Up Song)' and 'Big Girls Don't Cry (Personal)' and the album does get a bit woozy in the second half as a result, but it ends in fine rock fashion with 'Wake Up'. It's a very impressive effort, all things considered, and we can't help thinking this is the album that Beyonce's latest ought to have been.
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THE FRATELLIS - 'COSTELLO MUSIC'
Make no mistake. This is for every time you've had to endure some soggy indie band with no tunes and lots of wailing echoey noises because the NME claims they will change your life (by making it more dreary, usually), and found yourself wondering whatever happened to guitar bands being a bit sparky and fun... Seriously, your prayers are about to be answered.
When was the last time you heard a song about some vagabond charmer, who just wanders through life in a consequence-free way, and which includes the chorus "rock-a-honey, rock-a-honey, a-whoo-HOO!", like pop actually ISN'T the enemy of thought? Or a singalong song about being the kind of tyke who pulls the girl, then nicks her brother's car keys on the way out of her house? Well, it seems like ages, anyway.
Yes, all of the ideas here have been used before, and no, this won't win next year's Mercury Prize for original thought. But given half a chance, you won't be able to get at least 10 of the songs on this CD out of your head ever again, and, most importantly, you'll be really pleased about that. And, if you're normally quite a grumpy sort, that happiness might ACTUALLY change your life. Fancy!
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BEYONCÉ - 'B'DAY'
Okay, all toilet-related title jokes aside, what's Beyonce's new album like? Well, we're basing our thoughts on the four tracks we heard at a super special showbiz preview a while back, due to the album being kept totally top-secret and under wraps in case we try to sell it to the French in exchange for unlimited mayonnaise or something.
There were a fair few criticisms of 'Deja Vu' for being a blatantly recycled version of 'Crazy In Love', and if you were one of the people who thought that, you may still have some problems here, since it feels a bit like 'The Crazy In Love Variations' at times. 'Freakum Dress' is another example of Bouncy unleashing the jazz sounds and bellowing at you until you think she might pass out, while 'Green Light' brings back the "uh oh uh oh uh oh" that we all recognise from That Song.
The highpoint for us was the crazyangry Kelis-ness of 'Ring The Alarm', the next single, which is full of sirens and basically reminds you to never EVER cross Beyonce, because her revenge will HURT. In essence, we liked what we heard, and it sounds best LOUD, but let's hope there's a bit more inventiveness on the rest of it.
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STACIE ORRICO - 'BEAUTIFUL AWAKENING'
We can't help wondering, did Stacie spend a lot of her time during her break from the music biz thumbing through her favourite records of the past 20 years? Listening to this album invites a lot of comparisons to songs that would probably be termed 'retro' in the current pop climate, despite not being especially old. There's a consistent theme of gentle, pleasant if unexciting R&B-lite to the album, echoing everything from TLC to Jason Mraz to 'The Writing's On The Wall'-era Destiny's Child.
That's not to say that the album is monotonous, though - for all the slow, relaxing meadowy songs like 'So Simple', the album mixes up the pace with the uptempo '80s-sounding 'Save Me' and, in particular, delivers an awesome fakeout with the piano-led intro of 'Is It Me' unexpectedly screeching to a halt and bringing back the beats.
There's nothing hugely challenging to listen to here, but it's well-crafted, slick and a real grower after a couple of listens.
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PARIS HILTON - 'PARIS'
It all starts bad. This bad: "uh... yaah.. that's hot... uh... yaaah." OK, that's not hot. At this point, it looks like Paris has made the album that we all thought she'd make before the single turned out to be quite good, dammit. BUT if you can overlook the breathy sexclamations that threaten to destroy nearly every song, it's actually a... I can do this... pretty good album.
'Jealousy' is, well, just ace. It's a *fictional account* of two girls falling out. Yes, two very good friends. Fictional though, remember? Heartbeat sidesteps the sickly sweet vocal affectations to see Paris actually singing properly. All topped off by a cover of Rod Stewart's 'Do Ya Think I'm Sexy' which sounded like true horror in musical form at first, but is kind of a grower.
So, the vocals are over-cooked and the running theme of the album is 'I'm hot. I'm hot. Don't you think I am? Cos I am. Aren't I? Everyone else thinks I am etc' HOWEVER, there's some genuine good pop in there and not a single album filler and, sigh, the girl done good.
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OBIE TRICE - 'SECOND ROUND'S ON ME'
Being mates with Eminem is all well and good, but it does tend to invite comparisons. Like "this album is stylistically reminiscent of Eminem, but without the wit and social observation", for example. Obie gets off to a well-intentioned start with 'Wake Up', about the need to stand up for one's rights. Which is fine, until you listen to the next track. Encouraging people to stand up for their rights in one song and then throwing homophobic slurs into the next seems hypocritical, to say the least. It goes downhill from there, really - most of the songs follow the theme of Guns Are Cool, or I Am Great, or My Life Has Been HARD, with little variation. There are even some drive-by shooting interlude-skits in there, for those of us too slow to get it the first thousand times. Yawn. It's a shame, because there's some great production at work here (the rock guitar on 'Wanna Know' rules), but it's all let down by trite, predictable and ultimately irresponsible lyrics.
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CHRISTINA AGUILERA - 'BACK TO BASICS'
Basically then, Christina has spent her time away doing some kind of degree in old American music, and this is her essay. Disc 1 is where she is all fired up, determined to make this the best essay ever. And she does this by marrying hip hop production values to some truly great nods to '60s soul, honking out that amazing buzzsaw voice of hers wherever possible.
So songs like 'Back In The Day', 'Makes Me Wanna Pray', 'Ain't No Other Man', and pretty much everything with beats on this disc do a fine job of making rubbernecked fools of us all.
Disc 2 on the other hand, is where Chrissie is a bit souled out, so instead, husks up a parade of swingy, jazzy, sultry and ballady warm downs, and they're great too, but not as good as all that strutting goodness on disc 1 (although 'Hurt' is officially the new 'Beautiful'). if you like, you can think of disc 2 as the musical history lesson, whereas disc 1 is pure break time, with free ice cream. Even so, overall this is a superb comeback, and the right way to hark back to the olden days. Are you listening, Ms. Thom?
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NICK LACHEY - 'WHAT'S LEFT OF ME'
Is this album a one-man quest to make the game Beat The Intro far more difficult? Because it starts off with a bunch of songs that we'd be hard pushed to tell apart if they were wearing hand-knitted jumpers with their names on. Even Westlife would listen to this and be all, "Man, this is samey. We're bored: who wants pizza?"
If you've heard lead single 'What's Left Of Me', you know the story - it's a selection of wistful, acoustic-y piano-led ballads, most of which are probably about Jessica Simpson. That's fair enough in small doses, but everything just goes on and on in the same vein for very track. At one point we completely didn't notice when one song ended and the next one started. Not to mention the fact that when you're taking notes on an album on a track by track basis, it's probably bad to run out of new ways to write "wistful, boyband-esque ballad. About Jessica?" 'Specially when you end up writing "isn't it over yet?"
The album hints at having more range - 'You're Not Alone' caught us off guard with an uptempo, rocky intro, and we were so excited at the long overdue change of pace that we almost didn't notice it slip right back into bland-o ballad mode again halfway through. We would have sold our very valuable typing fingers for a cheerful uptempo pop number, but it never came to pass. Sadly, on the strength of 'A Public Affair' alone, we suspect Jessica's going to win the battle of the tunes. And isn't that a worrying thought?
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JAMES MORRISON - 'UNDISCOVED'
Never mind all that post-James Blunt softy-pop nonsense. This chap might look like the latest in a very long line of whiny blokes with acoustic guitars, but he's got a beefy voice like a man Joss Stone, and a great big soul band playing behind him. Trust me, weedy, he ain't.
And for once, the reference points aren't just Coldplay either. Some of James's best stuff sounds like prime Stevie Wonder (and therefore Jamiroquai, for you young 'uns), some of the smoothest moments are pure Al Green ('70s soul ledge), and some of the weaker moments sound like Rooster (y'know, ROOSTER, yeah?).
Highlights include the soft-soul warm hug 'You Give Me Something', the scorching 'Under The Influence', and the hard-boiled, but barn-storming 'The Pieces Don't Fit Anymore'. But really, the man could sing the phone book and it'd sound soulful. Attaboy!
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Do you agree with our reviews?
Make
your own comment on THIS WEEK'S NEW RELEASES below.
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*bob*
we need to see good music
Nick Arnold
The recently published top selling UK 100 albums revealed: Westlife nil - Robbie Williams six (more than other artist) any comments?
rini
the new emma bunton is great she can be and she deserve to have new number 1 downtontown is an miracle
shin
evanescence rocks, there album is better than the last and it'll do better than their first lithuim out on 4th dec
gemma
i hope pinks song gets a number1 she deserves it
amy
justin timberlake is safe lol bt weve gt 2 gt eminem bk tho!lv amyxxxxxx
mahmud
jojos new song is great
m
emma buntons children in need song 4 number 1!!!
gemma
westlife can write their own songs they write brilliant songs if you havnt bought previous albums of theirs you wont know what am mean i love westlife their much better then take that you only see gary barlow singing the over three cant sing gary sounds like he's being strangled in their latest single
britmerica
ooOoOOoOO the peppers are back!! gosh they are so sexy! and their music is so amazin! pink and the feeling are awesome too!! y'all should try out some of the music in america at the minute its all way too cool to not come out over here!
james
You should buy Akon and Justin Timberlakes songs which are smack that and My love theve reached top of the charts go and treat yourself
scott
why havent you reviewed emmas single its a CHARITY single, the sooner this site goes the better!
james ,hello
Akon and Justin Timberlake are very good they deserve to be the top 2 in the charts.I also like kasbian and can't wait for white and nerdy to come out from weird al jankovic
Mick willo
bring back the four tops thats what i say
sophie
jojo'z new song is wicked! every1 should buy her cd she is an amazing singer and has dun reli well in her career in music so well dun jojo!
Scotty
Wasn't Hey Oh released before? I'm sure I heard it somewhere months ago?
lidya
does anyone know what snow patrols new song is? the one featuring some woman??xx
Beth
why no full review of fields? blatantly the best band on this list!still at least they got 4 stars, which is what they deserve- check them out people! next big thing for 2007 gotta be!
Mike
Melanie, girls aloud song has sold more and been a bigger hit that the all saints one!
and look at all saints album - #40. whereas GA got #1
crispy
wot a poor week 4 releases...jet n the feeling hav got decent songs out, wolfmother r class as wel...single of week is lostprophets - cant catch tomorrow, that song is amazin!!! tho it hasnt ad much publicity so i dnt rekon itll do tht wel in th charts...:(
Jessica
We'll miss you Steve P!
Ryan
OMG How could you rate Pink's new tune 2 stars?!? You must be going mad. I
Laura
Love Take That's new song & U2 & Greenday are great together.Why didn't sum1 think of it before? The Feeling deserved 5stars. Does MCRs's new video scare any1 else? I'm going to go hide now............
kara
good and wicked site man
Darius
Its all about 365 'one touch' what a tune!! top boys!!
ann-marie
i like mc fly and radio 1 should play star girl often aswell as bubble hits
Ainsley_rina_meribel_barbie_ kennedy
the FRATELLIS dey r the best and sofa song iz grr* btw sw iz reli cool i luv him
Nicola
converse is awesome dude as is sw!
Nicola
sw is rly cool! sw is my hero!!!i luv him!!! im also in luv with fratelli!!no kids i literally adore him!
NICOLA
I luv FRATELLI!! he is relii cool!!!
sw i reli cool
ikky
dis syt is reli fun nyc nd gd i luv it ma fav songs is not in der doh lolz
snowpatrol fan
snowpatrols album eyes open is brilliant
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