Age: A lady NEVER tells.

Previous Jobs: Cuh! Well OBVIOUSLY I was in S Club. Don't you READ the PAPERS?

What are your core strengths?: Do I REALLY have to SPELL it OUT?? I'm TINA! Like Chris-TINA Aguilera, only with better dress sense. And a nicer face.

What are your weaknesses?: As if I'd TELL you that. That's SO immature.

Are you a team player?: Yes I am. I don't CARE what the others tell you. I'm CLEARLY a team player. Which you would KNOW if you'd done your RESEARCH.

How would your previous work colleagues describe you?: I'm not INTERESTED in what THEY think.

What can you offer a new employer that other people cannot?: Well if you NEED me to tell you, I'm not sure I WANT to work for you. Can't you do ANYTHING for yourselves?

How would you describe an ideal work environment?: There has to be LOTS of mineral water. Egyptian cotton sheets covering all furniture. Bouquets of hyacinths in the east-facing corner of the room and a proper feng shui consultant on hand at all times.

Tell me about your greatest accomplishment: Shan't. Why SHOULD I?

Where do you see yourself in five years time?: Oh I think I shall still be at the very top of the celebrity tree, DON'T YOU??