|
Q.
You are described as the world's funniest Iranian stand-up comedian.
What's the comedy scene like in Iran?
Omid:
Cracking
Q.
Which Iranian stereotype would you most like to dispel?
 |
| Omid
Djalili |
Omid:
That we all run about naked in the bush chasing women in burkas
and eating the leftovers of vultures (no sorry, was thinking Morroccan
pygmies).
That
we are all fat and hairy.
Q. The Guardian said that "If we dropped Djalilis all over
the west instead of bombs across the Middle East, the world would
be a far happier place..." Do you really think you could have
such a profound influence on world peace?!
Omid:
If there were more Omid Djalilis about, yes. But knowing me I would
probably get jealous of the competition and spend most my time trying
to eliminate it with the aid long pointed scimitars and bearded
hitmen from Oman, thus perpetuating the endless cycle of mindless
violence... So no.
Q. And once you had brought about world peace, ended all famine
and stopped discrimination what would you do next if you ruled the
world?
Omid:
Bomb Southall
Q.
What is the funniest (printable) joke you have ever heard?
Omid:
Jimmy Carr's favourite thing (as seen on Ch4): "Get Smarty
tubes, empty ones, put them on a cat's legs and watch it walk about
like a robot"
Q.
You're allowed a dinner party of six comedians, dead or alive. Who
do you invite?
Omid: Lenny Bruce, Bill Hicks, George Carlin, Andy Kaufman,
Eddie Murphy and Red Rum.
All excellent conversationalists.
Q.
You've appeared in films with many A-list celebs. Have you picked
up any tips about making ridiculous dressing room demands? Should
the Broxbourne Civic Theatre be worried?
Omid:
I have insisted on a large film set Winnebego camper van with fitted
lights, wardrobe and mirrors to be fitted into all my dressing rooms...anything
smaller than Brendan Fraser's in "The Mummy" then I'm
walking
Q.
In Behind Enemy Lines, you were described as "A butterball
of physical and mental energy." But how would you describe
yourself - and what exactly IS a
butterball?
Omid: I was once described as "burly but surprisingly
athletic" which I like. I think "butterball" is something
similar, and to do with my body in how it glides and sways effortlessly
when exposed to the rythmn of the bongo beat.
As
a reference to me described as a butterball 'mentally' I can only
assume this has something to do with my mercurial talent, or the
fact that I flow and glide between all manner of subjects with equal
flow and mesmerising fluidity, playing with language and ideas like
a master swordsman in an early 1940's Errol Flynn movie, at once
cutting, other times displaying the beauty and grace of a Russian
Ballerina.
It
could also mean I am a fat lard ar*e who speaks through his bum
hole!
Q. You kept Russell Crowe and Oliver Reed locked up in Gladiator,
but who would you most like to lock up and throw away the key?!
Omid:
I find it reprehensible and insulting that an organisation like
the BBC encourages artistes to back stab & berate fellow artistes
in public. It masquerades as 'good journalism' but is in fact a
sad sign of the times. It is symptomatic of the general moral climate
that celebrates the shallow and criticises the honest artiste who
tries, through his or her work, to entertain, educate and elevate.
In
my position as an actor, comedian and social commentator I feel
it my duty to ignore such folly and ask you to re-think some of
your questions in future.
Were
I to even think of answering this question it would undermine my
position as a middle-eastern Richard Blackwood, but obviously without
the charm, razor-sharp and ascerbic dynamic wit, political activism,
mass broad appeal and almost impossible to define charisma and sex
appeal that he possesess.
Q.
As a 'Short Fat Kebab Shop Owner's Son' - do you prefer Donner or
Shish?
Omid:
Red meat can stay in the body for months and cause havoc with your
bowels.
Definitely
a chicken Shish with Garlic sauce. A healthy option for all the
family.
| lauren,
Hexham |
Monday,
14-Jun-2004 17:27:47 BST |
 |
| very
funny man, but surely the title of "funniest iranian stand up
comedian" is not impossible to beat. I laughed at Omar on ch4's
greatest world cup moments. |
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