Deception

As the old saying goes... "Ladies First" and when it comes to winning the game of Deception things won't be any different. With your help we've got this in the bag and we'll finally take Evil Ashmead down a peg or two!!

You see I don't need stupid laughs, (what is this ridiculous mwahahahahahaha! nonsense anyway?) As for the idle threats, petty insults and calling our listeners "LOSERS!" it's obvious you know you're on the back foot Ashmead. What a load of hot air!

When it comes to local knowledge 'Evil Ashmead' we've both got that in bucket loads. However, whilst you've been messing around getting together the most ridiculous outfit to wear,  (Yes your bum does look big in it by the way!) I've been in training.... SERIOUS training!

'Evil Ashmead' and 'Lovely Lorna'

Ashmead running? I don't think so!

So Evil Ashmead you might be able to talk the squark, but you can't even stroll, let alone walk the walk.

As for me having to look over my shoulder I won't need to with your frame…… I'll hear you coming! You won't see me for my fairy dust my evil little friend!

Being the generous, kind hearted and good natured girl I am though.... I wish you all the best of luck. Once you've lost and you crawl back in your hole for the night just remember you've had a lovely day out and it's the taking part that counts.

Oh one more piece of advice 'Evil Ashmead', don't forget your sunscreen for when you’re out and about feebly attempting to crack those clues across Beds, Herts and Bucks. Otherwise that big bald patch of yours will be doing the best impression of a Britain’s Got Talent Buzzer I've ever seen - hehehehehe!!!

LADIES AND GENTLEMEN GET ON MY SIDE… IT'S THE RIGHT SIDE…. IT'S MIGHTY MILTON.

IT'S TIME TO STOP THE EVIL ONE ONCE AND FOR ALL! XX

To help 'Lovely Lorna'...
The studio phone-in number is: 08459 455 555
The studio text number is: 07760 173737