Deception

"I'm insulted you would even think that beating Milton at anything would be a problem!

"She and most of the listeners are losers who don't have the mental capacity to test me in any way, shape or form....

"There are however those who have the ability to shine, those with brains and indeed those like me with class and they will of course help me in my goal to defeat the sugar coated, whiter than white Milton and the good guys.

"Those who think they can lay the deception on me and send me all the wrong info, don't waste your time - I won't be fooled!

'Evil Ashmead' and 'Lovely Lorna'

"I have lived and worked across the patch for 30 years which gives me a tremendous knowledge of the local area and combined with my ability to decipher cryptic clues, because after all I'm usually the one writing them, I will stop Miss Milton week in week out.

"Finally a message for the woman herself, and I use woman in the loosest possible way, Lorna.........keep looking over your shoulder because if I'm not already way out in front I'll be right behind you waiting to pounce.

"I'm coming for you Milton.... mwahahahahahaha!!!!!"

If you want to cross to the dark side, you can text the 'Evil One' every Saturday afternoon between 2:00pm and 5:00pm on: 07590306852.