People and Personalities

If you used last Valentine’s Day to propose, I’m sure that you considered that you will be married for a very long time because marriage is a lifetime commitment.

When you say your vows you can only hope that you will have as long a time as possible together but how many stand there dreaming of their diamond wedding anniversary?

Ken and Bet on their wedding day in 1949

Ken and Bet Rawlinson didn’t, but nevertheless, this month saw them not only celebrate 60 years of marriage, but an amazing 80-year romance. The couple from Weston Turville in Bucks met in their first year at school and formed a bond that has never been broken, and their time together was only interrupted by the Second World War, when Ken was posted in Burma.

The couple, who have one son and two grandchildren, married on the 12th February 1949 at Weston Turville Church in the village where they have lived all their lives.

Harmony

I met them in their house in the village, where they have lived for nearly all of their married life, to find out if there was a secret to living in harmony for such a long time. But I first wanted to know what they remembered about that day, and one thing’s for certain – being together on the morning of the wedding did not spell bad luck for these two!

“It was snowing in the morning” said Ken, “and we were together because we had to go to Aylesbury to get the flowers and it snowed, it really snowed. But the wedding was at 2.00pm, and by lunchtime the sun came out and when we came out of church they were able to take photographs.

“But it was so cold, she [Bet] had to wear one of my pullovers under her wedding dress!”

“And we had a lovely reception” added Bet.

“Yes”, continued Ken, “it was in the local church hall and there were about 60 guests. Our parents did most of the catering and we were going up and down the road the night before with trollies of all the plates and cups and goodies. It was a lovely reception and we thoroughly enjoyed it.”

After the wedding, Ken just about managed to get a few days off from his job at the local garage and the couple spent three days in London for their honeymoon, where they watched the Changing of the Guard, went searching for bargains in Petticoat Lane and went to see Annie Get Your Gun starring Dolores Gray.

“And then we came back to two rooms” explained Bet, and it turns out that it was the fact that they were offered this, their first home, that led to them setting the date for the wedding very quickly, because in those days, there was no question of moving in together and getting married afterwards!

“ People say [to us] why did you get married in February” revealed Ken, “ well, we had some rooms offered to us, and houses were like a premium so we thought we’d better do something about it. We didn’t want to lose them so I went home and said to my mother that we were getting married in a fortnight!”

“Yes, I was five and she was four” explained Ken.

“We were always together playing with the other children out in the fields” added Bet, “and at harvest he used to drive the tractor and I used to sit on the wheel.”

Romance

After leaving school at 14, Ken went into the local garage as an apprentice motor mechanic and Bet went into service opposite, and they used to wave to each other, so they have literally never been apart! And as they have always been together, they can’t really pinpoint when it all developed into romance.

“I don’t really know” laughed Bet! “It really was just us.”

“We just weren’t apart” added Ken, “it just happened, we went to the cinema together and if any local events were on we went to them.”

So, for the childhood sweethearts who started off as friends, there was never anybody else in the frame. And even a four and a half year separation couldn’t split them.

“There were a few little moments but they didn’t last” said Ken, of other girls, “Although I thought I’d lose her when I came back from Burma, but she was waiting!”

Drafted

Ken was posted to Burma at the age of 18, during the Second World War, and spent four and a half years there with no home leave. Meanwhile, Bet was also drafted and opted to spend the war making wireless sets rather than going into the forces. It was a long and difficult separation, during which time they kept in contact by letter, many of which they still have, and in one, Ken made the difficult decision to give Bet the option of calling it a day.

“I got a bit despondent out there because it was a bit hairy” he said, “so I wrote to her and said if you want to finish this you go your way, and hopefully I’ll see you when I come home. But she didn’t [go her way!]!"

“I had a little fling” admitted Bet, “I used to go dancing and that you know, but I always knew deep down that Ken was the one.”

They both knew this and both can remember his homecoming.

“It was wonderful” said Ken!

Ken and Bet with their card from the Queen

“I always remember it because I walked past the house in uniform and I didn’t go in.  But her dad came flying out and said ‘she wants to see you’ and I went in and that was it!

“I had waited two days, because my family wanted to see me and everything, I don’t know how I did it but I did! We were engaged form that moment on really.”

“Oh yes, yes it was wonderful” agreed Bet, “he had changed a little bit, he was very brown!”

Formality

Ken asked Bet’s dad if he could marry her in the proper way, although he hoped that this was just a formality.

“I thought it was going to be a recognised thing anyway” he said, “and I would have been a bit annoyed if it hadn’t!”

He then asked Bet if she thought they could make a go of it, she said yes, and the rest is history.

To say that Ken and Bet’s 60 years of marriage is an achievement is a bit of a misnomer because it makes it sound like a big struggle which it certainly hasn’t been.

“It hasn’t been a struggle” said Bet, “because we’ve been so happy together.”

Ken agreed that there’s no secret to their happiness.

“I don’t think there is” he said, “I think it gels and you go your way.

“We were so lucky that we got on so well, there’s no magic formula. I hate to say it, I know people want a magic formula but I haven’t got one!

“You’ve just got to get into each other’s ways because you have your own little foibles.

“She makes some wonderful cakes though, I would have left her a long time ago if it hadn’t been for the cakes!”

Realistic

For Ken and Bet it’s just worked, so they haven’t really got any advice for other married couples. But if they have to attribute their success to anything, it’s the fact that they didn’t rush into anything and they were realistic about what they could afford.

“It wasn’t a whirlwind romance” said Ken, “it came a long and we gradually got into each other’s ways and that’s it! There was no rush about it like today, I think that’s the answer!

“And we didn’t want everything all at once” added Bet.

“We came home from honeymoon and hadn’t got chairs to sit on – it was things like that we worked for to get!

“And what we didn’t have, we didn’t get until we could afford it” revealed Ken.

“You saved up and got it and I think you appreciated it all the more.”

So do they think that today’s high divorce rates are down to people giving up too easily?

“I’m sure they do” said Bet, “if we had a row we made it up!”

“Yes, something happens and they just walk out” agreed Ken, “we couldn’t do that.”

The couple are still romantic and never miss Valentine’s Day or sending anniversary cards and Ken is always bringing home flowers for Bet, so what do they think of their long romance?

“It’s a lifetime” said Ken.

“Yes, we can’t believe it” added Bet, “it doesn’t seem like 60 years.”