One evening I had the revelation that I really knew very little about dying. I have never seen a dead body and I have never had to arrange a funeral or cremation and most certainly I had, like so many of us I fear, not even thought about it. I decided to dedicate the whole three hours of Melting Pot to a personal exploration of the one inevitability of life …death. The programme covers four main areas: the physical side of the funeral process, coping with bereavement, the spiritual side of death and the possibility of an afterlife and how to make sure that you have a good death. Very quickly I realised that the people I wanted to talk to were pleasantly surprised to be asked to take part in a radio programme and soon my diary was filling with visits throughout the three counties. My colleague Jo Coleman forsook the Spritual Survival Kit for one week to look at the beliefs of various faiths about death and what happens to us when we die. This is to be supported with a studio discussion with Rabbi Pete Tobias from The Elstree Liberal Synagogue and Elizabeth Bradley who provides Chaplaincy at the Luton and Dunstable Hospital.
 | | Ian Pearce |
My friends at Three Counties Action are supporting the programme and can provide booklets and information about all aspects covered on this special Melting Pot. They also assisted in finding some excellent guests . Give them a ring on 01582 441111 if you want more information. And so I started my journey. I visited the Leagrave premises of T.E Neville. Managing Director Peter Aspinall showed the kind of care and consideration that will have reassured thousands of bereaved relatives over the years. I was impressed by the lack of hard sell and the £1500 - £1800 average cost of a funeral covers all the expenses. What struck me is the need to break the taboo and talk to our family about what we want to happen.This is where a living will comes in. As a funeral director Peter wants a burial not a cremation. If they hadn't talked about it , Peter's wife may well have dispatched him to the cremator. We talked about how a body is collected, kept at the undertakers , and made available for viewing at the chapel of rest. So what kind of funeral do we have. Certain faiths have specific requirements. Muslims, for example, require the funeral to take place within twenty-four hours. The Romany people though have elaborate burials. Jake Bowers, the presenter of new programme Rokker Radio, and I visited Dunstable cemetery to look at travellers' graves. Incredibly ornate , if not kitsch memorials are dotted among the more conventional memorials. They reflect the life of the deceased. On one grave there's an engraving of a faithful Bedford CF van, on another a pint of Guinness. Jake dispelled the myth that travellers are burned in their caravans, but explained that the property of the dead is considered unlucky. Perhaps the most harrowing visit was to the West Herts Crematorium. It was lightened somewhat by constant remarks from the Watford supporting staff who threatened to burn my Luton shirt in the cremator. I wanted to know what happened behind the curtains. Cremation is the most popular way of disposing of the human body after death. I had no real idea what happened and, among the queue of coffins, manager Stephen Brown explained the process. As we started the interview a coffin was placed in the cremator -a gas fired oven. Two myths dispelled : the smoke coming out of the chimney isn't your loved one and secondly there's no recycled coffin racket here- the whole coffin goes in, handles and all. So how do I know that what I'm given is what's left of Uncle Eric? Each cremator takes only one coffin. Cremation takes an average hour and a half . The surprise for me was what comes out. Four carefully labelled buckets contained the still-hot remains of four people alive a week ago. The coffin has turned to vapour but the metal fixings from the coffin and a replacement knee joint nestles among shattered bleached bones. To get the ashes the remains are put into another machine called a cremulator. This grinds the bones into a powder. It's not pretty but the professionalism of the people who work there is second to none and Stephen is happy to show people round behind the curtains. An alternative which might be more appealling to some is the green burial. I visited a site at Olney. Warwick Clarke showed me the site and how it will look in years to come. Thre's a range of cardboard, bamboo or wicker coffins or caskets for your cremated and cremulated ashes. Warwick is prepared to also accept the standard chipboard coffin as well. Each "resident" has a tree planted on their site and eventually the bleak hillside will be a wooded glade. Perhaps the most distressing aspect to death for some is the thought of a post mortem examination. I was delighted to be able to meet Consultant Histopathologist Doctor Sam Jallo at Milton Keynes General Hospital. I didn't ask to see a post mortem examination as I think the sawing of a skull might be too much for a Sunday Breakfast audience. Doctor Sam explained when a post mortem is needed. If a coroner requests one it's because cause of death cannot be established. In most deaths from illness the patient's doctor will know what has killed them. However a clinician can request a post mortem but he will need the relatives' assent. The clinician may want to see the effects of his treatment and he might also ask that some organs be retained, but again consent must be gained by the relatives. I was surprised that a coroner's post mortem examines the whole body by removing the organs, but Doctor Sam was proud of the quality of the reconstructive work of his team. All traces of the post mortem are hidden when the body is transferred to the chapel of rest. Most certainly the important aspect of this campaign is the requirement to have a "good" death. What I have found is that the hospice movement provide excellent palliative care which enables people to die with dignity with their loved ones. Hospitals are not the ideal place to die and cannot offer the best care for the terminally ill. I believe after talking to the wonderful people at the Hopsice of St Francis in Berkhamstead that everybody should have access to Hospice care an area which has to be funded through charity. If you include the work of other medical relief charities you realise that death is not a concern for a target driven health service. I have yet to find a spiritual answer and death still frightens me. Perhaps ahead of the programme, I've focused too much on the physical side of dying. I've learned if we plan our last days carefully we can leave a positive impact on those we leave behind. We'll never know about Heaven and an afterlife until we get there. If there is nothing then religion is the ultimate deception but I suppose it helps if we try to avoid Hell. We have to believe there's more than this, but I also believe its about making the most of what we have while we're here. | 
