Blackpool 1 Luton 3 (Croatian Sensation 2) At last a perfect end to a strange week when we had travelled all the way to Boston just as the match was called off and little had been done to prevent a reasonable expeditionary force setting out from Bedfordshire. I had hoped to write a column after that match and refer back to match announcer Justin Dealey's performance last Saturday with Samantha the FHM High Street Honey hopeful. Having researched the piece and checked her out in the FHM and seeing the girl in the flesh, you realise that models in magazines are in fact just ordinary girls and so was Samantha at whom you might look twice, but no more.
Incidentally FHM is very useful for hiding Model Railway magazines after you've fought your way to the front of the reading library crowd in WH Smith and dared to actually buy one. Anyway I digress. Dealey the lumpen lothario had worked out that Sam was on a machiavellian mission to gain votes and knew nothing of matters Hatters. "So who's your favourite player?" "Err number 12" Get your coat Chris Coyne ..you've pulled. And so to Blackpool | " the tawdriness of a closed Blackpool noted in December on our last smash and grab raid doesn't vanish once the various emporia de tat open." | | Ian Pearce, BBC Three Counties Radio |
A Bank Holiday weekend means that the trams are enhanced by some museum pieces. The ploy therefore was to convince "lucky" Duncan to set off early to reach Blackpool in time for some serious fun. The plan worked with no traffic anywhere and a vintage Bolton tram and a Sheffield vehicle adding to the usual Blackpool vehicles. Now this may not be everybody's idea of fun but, looking at the faces of the visiting Northerners, fun is actually difficult achieve in Britain's premier resort. A day in Blackpool seems to involve walking up and down the Golden Mile, pausing to pay homage at the scene where Alan Bradley was slain by a tram in Corrie and noting which of the grotty delights to sample later. Most make the mistake of winning a large cuddly toy of dubious species which is then born as a burden for the rest of the day. This is then usually accompanied by dodgy head gear, the colours of which run once the rain falls down again on the humdrum town. In fact the tawdriness of a closed Blackpool noted in December on our last smash and grab raid doesn't vanish once the various emporia de tat open in their full glory. In two weeks time they switch the lights on in an attempt to raise the town's flagging fortunes. Greatness The football team reflect the town this year. Former hints of greatness remain. For example they are building a statue of Stan Mortenson….but they need some artisans to build the plinth and floodlight it on the buckshee. Manager Colin Hendry has the look of the manager of a rabbit football team caught in the headlights of reality. His team countered the Hatters threat and went one up but lost the plot in the second half as the Hatters bombarded the end of the ground with a stand. Howard scored his now obligatory header and Brkovic suggested the title Croation Sensation might lose its sense of irony. The Hatters' fans got wet again and as the pink sombreros and Ricky Hill wigs started to have fun, the floor of the temporary roofless stand broke. What could have been potentially dangerous was averted by the stewards and the police moving the fans from the damaged area. After the game the constabulary removed a section of flooring that had split in two from the weight of Hatters' jubilation. Excited Mike Newell still refuses to get excited but there is now daylight in the eyebrow. On the way up I suggested to Euan that Brkovic had goals in him. A disgruntled becloth-capped Seasider complained to my Radio Lancashire colleague that he had failed to mention that Berky's goals were offside. Err….. That’s' because they weren't and might we see his solo effort which just went wide on next Saturday's showboating feature please Hells Bells? Our Mike shared the views of Lineker and Hansen that the offside rules are a mess…..although Howard should have had another, Luton split Blackpool's offside trap on several occasions. I noticed in a ploy to increase sales of tooth-rotting seaside rock the various outlets are coming up with new sexier titles. For example "Rocky's" or "Rock Bottom " which sells novelty rock genitalia. With players wanting moves, one point and a broken stand, Blackpool manager Colin Hendry was noted between two shops: "The Rock" and "The Hard Place". As for the team, they have been in "Rock Bottom" all season. By the way the waves were still piddling and small. | 
