Acts

WE ARE KLANG

We are Klang

Know and behold the matchless, the maverick, the mighty - We Are Klang.


Comprised of Greg Davies, Steve Hall and Marek Larwood, together they are an unholy trinity of truly contagious comedy chaos.




ASK KLANG ANYTHING

AKA


Q. WHY DO DOGS HAVE BLACK LIPS?

A.
Marek:
I don't really know, but Steve once told me his wang was made of liquorice.


Q. WHAT MEAL SHOULD I COOK FOR A SECOND DATE?


A.
Marek:
Women like horses, and men like breasts. So I would serve up foal and tits.

Greg: Oh, right Marek. Where are you going to get a pair of tits and a small horse from?

Steve: I know a man.

Greg: Men don't have tits, Steve.

Marek: What are these then?

Greg: They're your balls Marek. Take those cherries off them and put them back in your trousers before I give you a mastectomy.


Q. HOW BIG IS FRANCE?

A.
Steve: France is a unique country as it swells up to three times its actual size every year solely through the egos of its inhabitants.

Marek: I think I might be getting a France in my trousers.

Greg: That's not a France Marek. Here look at this photo of an old lady vomiting over her knitting.

Marek: Uhhhhh. Double France.


Q.WHAT DOES VENEER MEAN?

A.
Steve: Isn't a veneer something you put over something to make it look nice?

Marek: Once I done a bad thing on the carpet so I put a veneer on it.

Greg: You did a shit on the floor and tried to cover it up with a blanket.

Marek: Yes a veneer.

Steve: There's a shit underneath that blanket on our living room floor!

Greg: It does look quite nice actually.



 

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Darren Chillblaine

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