Helping Friends in Trouble

A friend in need

If a friend is in trouble, whatever kind of trouble it is, remember that you can't solve their problem for them or be responsible for their actions. But you can be there for them for as long as it takes.

Friendship factoid Just 'being there' is the most helpful support a friend can give.
Mental Health Foundation survey, April 2007

How to be a good listener

• Take your friend seriously (even if the problem doesn't sound that major to you).
• Don't put them down by saying things like, "You'll feel better in the morning" or "Smile!"
• Don't feel you need to have the answers. Just listening is helping your friend.
• Encourage them to talk to other people as well as to you. Offer to go with them to talk to an adult friend they can trust.
• Don't give up on them. They may be arsey or always want to be alone, but keep on inviting them out, keep on telling them you're not going anywhere. Don't force them to be happy – just let them know you're there for them.

If you're really worried about them

If your friend is talking about suicide, or if you think they are going to do something stupid or are properly depressed, tell someone. Even if you've promised them you won't tell, you are doing the best thing for them by telling. Talk to an adult you really trust, whoever that may be.

Written by Ali Cronin

Last updated 17th June 2007

Further help and advice

• Teenadvice: how to approach a friend in trouble
• Thesite.org: advice on helping friends in need
• Childline.org.uk: helping your friends
• Or call ChildLine on 0800 1111 (free) or The Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90 (cost of a local call) 24/7 to talk about your problems.

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