Parents: not getting on with them

Arguing all the time?

It was bound to happen. Your parents' baby has become a teenager with, der der derrrr, a mind of its own. You get pissed off when they treat you like a child, they get angry when you act bolshy. And so it goes on.

Parents factoid 83% of teens believe their parents know them well.
Survey by The Guardian, November 2006

What to do

If you handle things right, you could end up winning future arguments that, at the moment, you'd lose:

• Pick your fights: let some of the little things go.
• Let your parents win sometimes. That way they're more likely to let you win when it's something you feel particularly strongly about.
• If you think you went too far, apologise. They'll love it, and it sets a good example to them - maybe they’ll apologise to you next time they go a bit OTT.
• Don't lie if you can help it. If they find out, you'll have an uphill struggle trying to get them to trust you again.
• Vent your anger in some other way than slamming doors or shouting (punching your pillow works quite well). Keeping your voice low and calm is a much more effective way of getting your message across.

Are your parents going too far?

There's a difference between family arguments and abuse. If you think your parents are mistreating you, check the Abuse factfile.

Written by Ali Cronin

Last updated 17th June 2007

Further help and advice

• Kidshealth.org: "Why do I fight with my parents so much?"
• TheSite.org: feature on problem parents.
• Teenissues.co.uk: Arguing with Parents.
• Or call ChildLine on 0800 1111 (free) or The Samaritans on 08457 90 90 90 (cost of a local call) 24/7 to talk about your problems.

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