I've got something to tell you...
Telling people about your sexuality is called coming out.
You don't have to tell anyone you're gay or bi if you don't want to but you might feel better if you can be honest about who you really are.
Who to tell
Start by telling someone you really trust, and who you know will be supportive. Then you can gradually tell more people. It's a good idea to suss out people's attitudes on sexuality before you talk to them.
Telling your parents
OK, maybe you've fallen in love and want to share the joy. Maybe you're sick of fending off 'helpful' suggestions about how to get a boyfriend. Maybe you're confused and need advice.
Whatever your reasons for coming out to your parents, be prepared for shock, maybe a bit of outrage, or any emotion you might not expect. Like it or not, this is going to be quite a big deal for your parents at first. But hopefully they will accept and support you.
Where and when?
Grand announcements at Granny's birthday score high on impact, but low on sensitivity. Make sure you're somewhere where you feel comfortable.
Remember: Planting ideas ahead of time could help lessen the surprise factor.
Whether to tell at all
It's great to be honest and not to fear 'discovery' but IT'S UP TO YOU. If your folks are likely to seriously freak out then you should think very carefully about whether to tell them.
What to say
If you feel a bit awkward about saying "I'm gay" maybe go for, "I have a girlfriend" or "I'm not really into guys".
Plan your escape
Warn a friend in advance that you're about to drop the bombshell, so you have somewhere to go if you need to give your parents (and you) a bit of space.
Give your parents time - they may need a while to get used to the idea. And remember, their initial reaction won't necessarily be their long-term one.
There is no right or wrong way to come out. It should be a tailor-made experience, as individual as you are.
Homophobia
Don't expect everyone to support you. Unfortunately homophobia (fear or negative attitude towards gay people) is all too common and many gay people have a hard time getting friends and family to understand. Read our homophobia factfile for more information.
There is no right or wrong way to come out. It should be a tailor-made experience, as individual as you are.
Further help and advice
London Lesbian and Gay switchboard (includes national links)
Coming out stories
Gay Youth UK: Coming out
Schools Out has advice about being gay at school
Written by BBC Slink Team
Last updated February 2009
Disclaimer: Thee BBC cannot be held responsible for the content of external websites
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Elle, 19
When I came out to my parents i had a split reaction. My dad was totally kool with it but my mum flipped out. I ended up having to leave home, but i found some really amazing friends and stood by who i was. now i have a relationship on the mend with my mum that i never thought id have again. coming out was toatally worth it, just make sure u have friends who really support you in case you parents are shocked. dont blame your parents for their reaction, every1 is entitled to their own oppinion and shock can make people do crazy things they dont mean
Gary, 19
At the age of 14 I dont think I spoke to one person who didnt have feelings towards the same sex. However, although I did feel things, and even experienced a couple of occassions which were quickly gossiped about, I know find myself quite comfortable about who I am. I am straight. Some of the people I hung about with and even snogged are now gay. Obviously, I'll never tell my parents what went on, but, I feel that 14 is far too young an age to pick a sexuality, straight or gay. At 14, my head was all over the place, to tell my parents at that age would have been stupid. Especially after changing my mind.
Susie, 20
I came out to my parents last night and despite all my worries about how my 'old' parents might react, they turned out to be great.
graeme , 17
coming out is one of the hardest thigns that some any one can find hard to do in there own way i would say that the best person that you should tell is some one that is close to you but nto family like a close friend they are the people that will be most understanding when it comes to the issue, they can often help when it comes down to tha fact when you will have to sit down with hte rents n tell them and trust me its one of the scaryest things but you would rather you tell them than them catch you with some one that could make them feel like they cant trust you wgile as if you were to tell them they would be more understanding and willing to talk about it, but every one reacts differntly you have to judge for yourself the bestwat to handle the situation.
Ben, 14
I told my mum i thought i might be gay and she was reaaly nice. but this guy i know's dad won't speak to him- so it's reaaly hard.
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