Am I Gay?

Hello. I'm confused...

Don't get what all the fuss is about boys? Kissed a male mate just to see what it's like? Do you have a crush on someone the same sex as you? All these are signs that you could be gay. Or you could be 100% straight.

Or somewhere in between. Sorry, it's not that simple.

Figuring out your sexuality isn't a matter of gathering evidence, it's about how you feel. It's normal to be sexually attracted to the same sex sometimes - it doesn't necessarily mean you're gay.

But if you've felt this way very strongly for a long time, you could be bisexual or gay.

What's in a name?

Sexual orientation (or sexuality) is about who you have sexual feelings towards.

• Heterosexuals (people who are straight) are people who only fancy members of the opposite sex.
• Homosexuals (people who are gay) only fancy members of the same sex. Girls who fancy other girls can also called lesbians.
• Bisexuals are attracted to both sexes.

However, as a teenager, your sexual feelings can be very intense and it's completely natural for your attention to jump between different people - and different genders - quite frequently.

This can be confusing. It can also be exciting. Enjoy and explore at your own pace. Sexuality doesn't develop overnight, so don't be in too much of a hurry to put a label on yours.

You're not alone

It's commonly believed that at least one in ten people is gay. That's about the same proportion as people with blonde hair.

On top of that, it's likely that some of your friends are curious about the same things you are. Remember, if you're a girl who's kissed a girl, or a boy who's kissed a boy that already makes two of you!

Further help and advice

Sexuality of LikeItIs
Gay Youth UK: Coming out
Coming out stories
My friend was bisexual
asexuality.org

Written by BBC Slink Team

Last updated 17th June 2007

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