The root of the problem
Jealousy can take over your life and tear you apart. We all feel a pang now and again, but jealousy needs to be controlled before it controls you. First, work out who or what you're jealous of. Then ask yourself if the jealousy is rational or irrational. A rational example of jealousy is when your best mate gets a better exam grade than you. Irrational jealousy is much more powerful. Maybe you go green whenever your boyf or girlf talks to someone else, or you feel like killing your brother and sister just 'cos they got a pocket money raise and you didn't. Irrational jealousy can spiral out of control, so you need to spot it and deal with it quickly before something horrible happens.
Factoid Babies as young as 5-6 months old can experience jealousy Wikipedia
Why are you jealous?
If you feel a pang of rational jealousy occasionally, don't feel too bad - everyone gets a twinge sometimes. We're rarely satisfied with what we've got and sometimes feeling a bit jealous inspires us to work harder towards the things we want. However, if reality is out the window and you're insanely jealous about everything and everyone, the problem is more complex.
Insecurity = jealousy
Jealousy stems from worries that other people are better than you, having more fun than you, or benefiting from a leg up that you're not getting. Do you really think everyone fancies the person you're going out with? Does your brother or sister really get an easier ride with your parents? Perhaps you need to face up to the facts: your jealousy is being caused by your own insecurities. You're lacking confidence in yourself. That's why you're jealous.
Beat the green-eyed monster
The best way to beat jealousy is to build confidence. If you're jealous of one person in particular, talk to them. Chances are you can work through the problem together. If they are doing things that you want to be doing, start doing them! Jealously might be the thing that drives you all the way to your goals so take that negative jealous thought and use it to boost your life.
Written by Kevin Darling
Last updated June 2007
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Beth , 14
My Friend Used To Be Really Jelous Of Me Because I Looked 'Hot' In What I Was Wearing As Some Boys Told Me And She Started Wearing The Same Things As Me. It Got Really And Truely Annoying But Then One Day I Found Her Crying, I Asked Her What Was Wrong And She Told Me She Didnt Expect It But I Helped Her With It And Now She Has Her own Style And Still Gets Compliments ! , Im Really Proud Of Myself For Doing That
Bex, 16
I was stupidly jealous of my boyf and it ruined our relationship. He broke up with me cos I was hard work, I was jealous cos of my insecurities. Don't let your jealousy cost you your relationship. Get a hold of it and realise its not worth wasting your time over.
kat, 15
i have found it very hard in the past to trust people especially guys, but it depends how long you have been together for; ive been with my boyfriend for almost two years and yes he has cheated on me but think about it why would he still want to be with me after two years? there must be something there, i know its hard considering boys can be complete horrors but you just have to take the risk of trusting him. If you really can't trust him then why are you with him? find someone your comfortable with or even explain that your feeling a bit isecure at the moment and say you just want some time for you and him, it may help you gather confidence up and let you able to open up and trust him. . .hope it helps X
Jade, 15
I get really jealous when my boyfriend talks to girls i don't know. i want to tust him but it's hard :(
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